Am I ungrateful because DP didn’t buy the calendar I wanted before it sold out?

People are allowed nice things.

OP is there another you’d like? Cult beauty looks good, look fantastic too.

And we wonder why divorce rates are so high … entitled people

Some of the comments on this thread are quite bizarre. I’m sure we are all aware of what’s happening in the world, and many of us have quite serious problems in our lives. My son in law is Palestinian and has lost countless members of his family in the last two years, but that doesn’t mean that he can’t switch off sometimes and think about lighthearted and frivolous things to take his mind off the rest of his life. I’ve had all sorts of shit going on in my life for the last three years, but that hasn’t stopped me from discovering that, in my mid sixties and having spent almost nothing on skin care, make up, hairdressers etc in my life, I love beauty advent calendars. They are a real source of enjoyment to me and deciding which one to buy each year, opening them, and enjoying the contents over the next few months helps to take my mind of some of the crap in my life. Every calendar has very different contents and I’m sure the OP will have spent some time deliberating on which one she wanted. As so many other people have said, she is quite rightly pissed off because she had decided to buy her chosen calendar but didn’t do so because her partner said he would do so. If someone is interested in beauty advent calendars then they will be aware that some of them sell out very fast, and having told her partner this, of course she was annoyed when he didn’t buy it in time.

@MyOpenJadeGoose

yes Op! Just put up and shut up when your husband doesn’t listen to you and lets you down! Don’t allow yourself to feel irritated with him even if his actions (or lack of action) really warrants it! Only spend money on the basics - like bills and food. No frivolities or treats for you. That will make you feel soooooo much better and really enhance your life!

They’ve opened their inspirational fridge magnet calendar early and are sharing the joy?

HERE HERE! Something is WRONG HERE

People are dying in Gaza and Ukraine and she gets into a flap about some stupid calendar , good grief

Applying some abstraction to this situation so can be applied to all similar scenarios.
Partner A: I'd like A
Partner B: I love you so I'd like to help you get A
Partner A: Make sure you do X
Partner B: Sorry I tried to do A but didn't manage to do X

This is a prime opportunity for Partner A to say "I told you so" and try to claim the high ground, helping change the relationship dynamic in their favour so they can gain power over Partner B. Partner B may not respond well to this approach. Both will probably end up feeling upset.

Instead, it is also an opportunity for Partner A to say "I understand, I'd love to do X with you, perhaps we can do that instead?" Partner B knows they had let them down and is eager to jump on an opportunity to make it up to them. Both Partner A and Partner B feel happier and enjoy the subsequent days.

Choose whichever approach you like - but if you are choosing the first one - in my horribly judgemental opinion you approach relationships in a manner that lacks awareness.

Serums are not going to help you in the long run dear! But maybe a better outlook on life and a better relationship with your husband will?

No that’s putting words into my fingers … if I have made a genuine mistake, a bit of perspective is useful. If my wife prepares a bad meal , I plough through it like I am eating food from a Michelin Star chef. It’s more important not to hurt her feelings than complain about trivialities … this is not as if he missed a mortgage payment or he forgot to collect her job interview clothes for an interview tomorrow…

I’d be annoyed too. Unfortunately I’ve learned from previous situations and would’ve bought it myself as wouldn’t have trusted someone else to be as organised. Next year you know what you gotta do! Hope you find another calendar you like.

How do you know he has her back?

events didn’t conspire - he didn’t order it quick enough.
simple as that.
I actually have the calendar OP wants. I told my partner in August that it would be on sale soon. Didn’t mention it again. Thursday he received a package and handed it to me. It was the calendar. He’s been checking to see when it went on sale.
as much as I cannot stand the saying, it’s a case of ‘if they wanted to, they would’

the real sticking point for me though it’s the demand to be grateful. I can’t believe there are so many posters making excuses for him to be honest.

I love beauty advents because they’re fun and have nice smelly things in them. I don’t think they’re essential to my self esteem or my appearance. I rarely wear make up and don’t care if I have wrinkles. Am I allowed to have one or do I need to buy a hind leg of a bengal cat instead?

@MyOpenJadeGoose

you can do. Embrace your inner beauty AND take care of yourself with nice beauty products that you enjoy using. It doesn’t have to be one or the other! Are you always such a black and white thinker?

Seeing as she was browsing at the time and about to buy I’d imagine that they were in stock at the time so no, it wouldn’t have been out of stock.

They were going to buy a gift - events conspired so they unfortunately were unable to. I'm sure they felt bad. Trying to put them down and have a go at them is what then leads to the "should feel grateful" response.
It's exactly what happens if one approaches a relationship as me vs them. Either you are partners or you aren't. It's a waste of energy to fight the one person in the world who has your back (on things more important than calendars).

I look wonderful at 61. No beauty calendar can help with the passage of time. Get a grip on reality and what is really important in life. Prioritise inner beauty or you are ffff

great idea

its probably out of stock because of scalpers

so best thing to do is solve the issue by giving scalpers more money

without more details i cant say because the way im seeing this is would you have been so hard on yourself if you had of gotten there and it was sold out?

did the husband delay unnecisarilly?
was it even his fault?

it sounds like there was every chance had you of gotten it yourself you could have been too late as well

What an enlightening post! Thank you @Spiderx

WTF is happening with this thread with the #LiveLaughLove find your inner beauty comments.
People are allowed to want some nice, non-essential things to make their life more fun or pleasant.

@MyOpenJadeGoose

Yes it will. It’s important to take care of your skin. Beauty comes from within yeah, but a good retinol/serum/moisturiser routine can work wonders in making you look and feel so much better! You should try it! 😀

Really...1st world problem !

Sorry, I didn't realise that. Thank you for pointing it out😊

Having a “ beauty calendar “ in no way impacts what you look like. Beauty comes from within, and if you’re so superficial to think that a calendar, or the lack of one ( I pity your poor husband) will determine your beauty, I suggest that you are poorly informed. Everyone has beauty. The trick is to find it from within. Cosmetics don’t help here; but I suppose I am talking to a wall

Oh, thanks for the heads up.

I've completely naïve and have lived a completely sheltered life, nothing bad has EVER happened. 🙄

generally, when my partner makes a mistake or has an accident, he’ll apologise. Not tell me to be grateful for it.