Am I ungrateful because DP didn’t buy the calendar I wanted before it sold out?

Early on in our marriage, my husband went to the market down the road and bought me a paperback book as a gift for our first Christmas.
I couldn’t believe it.
I had put so much time and love and care into his gift - and he spent 10 minutes and £3 on me.
From then on, I got to choose my own gifts - not very much fun, but at least they were nice.
I still have the gifts - I don’t have the husband.

I don’t know what a beauty calendar even is beyond this thread but as I’ve said upthread it’s the principle of The thing and the fact he doesn’t seem contrite about it. If he said “sorry @Gillinggold I messed up, what can I do to make it up” I’m sure OP wouldn’t have posted this. It’s the fact he did a bit of DARVO with the “you’re so ungrateful” when Op expressed annoyance or disappointment that is the main issue .

I once traveled a long way by plane to visit a guy. I know silly me for doing that yeah, but anyway he said he would take me to all these museums and this fancy restaurant.

On the second day when I asked him about it as we hadn’t been anywhere he basically said I was ungrateful. I had mates in that city I could’ve stayed with and went to all those places with them. So I was not best pleased.

Calling someone ungrateful in that context is a manipulative tactic that seeks to deflect and avoid accountability. In my case, sure it wasn’t the end of the world if I didn’t have a visit to this museum I wanted to go for ages, but it was the fact he accused me of being ungrateful that really pissed me off.

I didn’t see him again once I left and that was my choice! I regret ever meeting him but the good thing is it taught me to judge men by their actions and not their words though and to look at how a man responds when you express disappointment in something he has failed to do. Is he sorry or does he deflect?

DeltaC is here to be the voice of men, so obviously has no need of prettification.

@DeltaC

what do you put on face? Unless it’s literally just soap and water you really cannot comment. Hypocrite.

@DeltaC

Op TOLD him it would sell out very soon if he didn’t get it straightaway in spite of the fact it is October. It’s his fault.

and how do you know it’s you didn’t even know what it is? That is quite silly of you really isn’t it.

I did not "This is a prime opportunity for Partner A to say "I told you so" and try to claim the high ground, helping change the relationship dynamic in their favour so they can gain power over Partner B. Partner B may not respond well to this approach. Both will probably end up feeling upset." - the grateful comment would have occured in the altercation highlighted here.

It’s an expression to say if you think about it my problem is negligible…we have become such a self-centred society … these trinkets don’t really matter

Exactly

i would have been a bit annoyed if I hadn’t managed to get one. The bigger story is I was made redundant and with my redundancy money I decided to treat myself to something I really wanted, partly to celebrate a new job too
that was the only thing I wanted

it’s like anything, clothes, jewellery, if you’ve been looking at it for ages and got your heart set on it and it sells out then yeah you get a bit peeved

Oh people just want to argue and virtual
signal.

how saintly they must be to have no need of anything so frivolous as a face cream.

How do we know what OP would have done … people who complain a lot … are some of the most selfish people… it was a genuine mistake… it’s October … what’s with this silly calendar … I live in a cave I guess

I feel like I’m reading a completely different OP to some.

try as I might, I can’t see the part where OP says ‘fuck Gaza, this is the most important and biggest problem in my life….nay, the WORLD’

Perspective matters though … 🤣🤣 dangling their bits … that’s really funny 🤣

@MyOpenJadeGoose

was it nice wine you had earlier? I’m guessing it must have been seeing as you seem to have drunk quite a lot of it based on your posts…

This thread is absolutely batshit 😂

I find this bizarre.
Really you can’t decide what people find important or not.

How utterly joyless.

@DeltaC

why did he miss the sale? Oh yeah, cos he couldn’t be arsed. So therefore he does deserve for Op to be pissed off with him. I’m sure if the tables were turned OP would have pulled her finger out and ordered it straightaway to avoid him being disappointed

you missed out the part where partner B goes: I didn't do X even though you specifically told me to do X, but you should be grateful!

This is too stupid. Do what you want for God’s Sake, but don’t ring your husband into your stupid calendar shit show! I cannot believe this is the most important thing in your life, let alone the world at large!

@DeltaC

its simply not relevant.

And he genuinely missed the sale … chill

Yes people are … but there are still more important stuff

Take a day off. There is war everywhere caused by posturing men dangling their bits around.
People are still entitled to live their lives without feeling guilty about a situation they can’t control and had and have no part in.

So you’ve not complained about anything or been remotely cross or annoyed for quite a while then, yeah?

Check eBay. Someone will be selling it, albeit at a higher cost.

I don’t think you’re ungrateful.

Had this kind of thing happened before with him or is this a one off ?

Women don't settle for less than they deserve any more - and good for them.