Page 19 | Am I ungrateful because DP didn’t buy the calendar I wanted before it sold out?

Gillinggold · 2025-10-01T16:28:22+00:00

I had a shit week last week and DP knew I was browsing beauty calendar’s. He asked which one I liked and I told him the name of the one I was going to buy. He told me not to buy it and that he’d treat me to it as one of his Christmas presents to me. I was really grateful and said it sells out quick so to be aware of that. Lo and behold, he’s gone to buy it and it’s sold out and not coming back in stock. I was annoyed, said I really had my eye on it and would have happily brought it myself as originally intended. He says I’m being ungrateful and that it’s not his fault. Well, I told him he’d need to get a move on at the time and feel really annoyed now….

NewBalonz · 02/10/2025 15:51

Imagine you offered to give him a lift to the airport. He warned you that it was a very early flight but you said you wanted to do it anyway and told him not to book a taxi. Flight day, you oversleep and end up not picking him up. He misses his flight. Oops! Well, he should be GRATEFUL that you offered him a ride. After all ; it was a very early flight, so that's a big favour.

NessShaness · 02/10/2025 13:12

FlyingHigher · 02/10/2025 09:22

Yes, but she could have just said to him "no thanks, I'll get it myself", as that was her original intention, then she could have received what she wanted and, I presume, would have already started using the products (presuming she would have had to wait until December if he'd bought it, which is crazy because she actually wants it now!).

A calendar seems a strange way to buy cosmetics, but maybe collectively it's cheaper to buy them in that format than to buy them all separately?

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It is much cheaper, the value of the calendar is over £1000. The majority of products are full sized too.

cordeliabuffy · 02/10/2025 12:46

FlyingHigher · 02/10/2025 09:22

Yes, but she could have just said to him "no thanks, I'll get it myself", as that was her original intention, then she could have received what she wanted and, I presume, would have already started using the products (presuming she would have had to wait until December if he'd bought it, which is crazy because she actually wants it now!).

A calendar seems a strange way to buy cosmetics, but maybe collectively it's cheaper to buy them in that format than to buy them all separately?

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Lots cheaper, it’s £260 or however much vs over £1000

FlyingHigher · 02/10/2025 09:22

G5000 · 02/10/2025 06:14

Did you not read the post? OP did want to get one herself. DP told her not to, as he would. Then he didn't. But thinks she should be grateful.

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Yes, but she could have just said to him "no thanks, I'll get it myself", as that was her original intention, then she could have received what she wanted and, I presume, would have already started using the products (presuming she would have had to wait until December if he'd bought it, which is crazy because she actually wants it now!).

A calendar seems a strange way to buy cosmetics, but maybe collectively it's cheaper to buy them in that format than to buy them all separately?

NarnianQueen · 02/10/2025 09:20

How can you be “ungrateful” when he hasn’t actually done anything for you?!

Growlybear83 · 02/10/2025 08:50

Nearly50omg · 02/10/2025 03:46

They are coming back into stock apparently! But literally buy it when you see it as they won’t be there for long

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I believe the option to be notified when the calendar is back in stock refers to next year’s calendar. To the people expressing surprise that beauty advent calendars sell out in late September, it’s not particularly unusual - the Harrods fragrance calendar sells out within a few hours online in August every year.

CoffeeLipstickKeys · 02/10/2025 08:07

WiddlinDiddlin · 02/10/2025 04:18

Try reading the thread and not inventing your own story to respond to?

Op was going to buy it herself and he TOLD her not to, he'd get it, even after she warned it would sell out fast, had sold out months early in previous years and he'd need to be quick. He told her not to worry, that he understood this.

Whats whiny about expecting your partner to listen and do as agreed?

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Whiny is complaining that an item sold out and disproportionately complaining.
Whiny is misplaced ire
She knew it was an in demand item likely to sell out and knowing this still delegated it to her partner
Having read thread my response remain same. Whiny

I also note you don’t really appear to understand the thread but are somewhat vexed

alfonzi · 02/10/2025 08:05

DancingInTheBroadDaylight · 02/10/2025 03:07

Why would you be delighted? Because of OP's DH she doesn't have the item that she wanted. If he hadn't interfered she would have it

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The bar is so low for a lot of women. And that’s why men like this think they can get away with the mere “offer” and that offer should have a woman thanking them profusely even if it doesn’t materialise. Riddiculous. Especially when in this situation that wonderful offer actually delayed OP in getting what she was planning to buy herself.

I have no idea about these calendars but a pp said it’s coming back into stock. If that is the case @Gillinggold I suggest you set an alert and buy it yourself immediately then ask him to send you the money. Or even ask for the money first and set it aside for the calendar coming back into stock.

If he wants you to be grateful about something he needs to actually do something!

hahsbszhdusndb · 02/10/2025 07:57

This relationship will not last

G5000 · 02/10/2025 06:14

MyAmusedPearlSquid · 02/10/2025 02:07

You could of got I yourself to be fair if you wanted it so bad

Did you not read the post? OP did want to get one herself. DP told her not to, as he would. Then he didn't. But thinks she should be grateful.

Shoxfordian · 02/10/2025 05:32

Does he usually act like this and not listen to you properly?

Francestein · 02/10/2025 05:24

It would make me feel that the rotten week you’d had didn’t touch the sides for him, and that was a convenient excuse to get out of thinking about your Christmas present. Ultimately it didn’t matter enough to him for it to hit home that he’d have to get off his arse asap to get what YOU wanted, and he’s gaslighting you now to avoid being accountable for your disappointment.

DrowningInSyrup · 02/10/2025 04:46

Yes

WiddlinDiddlin · 02/10/2025 04:18

CoffeeLipstickKeys · 01/10/2025 18:46

Stop being such a whiny princess . So he didn’t expedite purchase and now you’ve got the huff
@Gillinggold knowing it was likely to sell out and if you were that bothered you’d have bought it yourself and asked him for the money

Try reading the thread and not inventing your own story to respond to?

Op was going to buy it herself and he TOLD her not to, he'd get it, even after she warned it would sell out fast, had sold out months early in previous years and he'd need to be quick. He told her not to worry, that he understood this.

Whats whiny about expecting your partner to listen and do as agreed?

Shangrilalala · 02/10/2025 04:06

Another vote for the Vogue calendar. Full size, high quality products, many available n Soace NK (votary, tatcha etc) I'm still using some bits from last year.

Nearly50omg · 02/10/2025 03:46

Gillinggold · 01/10/2025 17:46

SpaceNK

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They are coming back into stock apparently! But literally buy it when you see it as they won’t be there for long

thelakeisle1 · 02/10/2025 03:40

What exactly have you got to be grateful for? Him breaking his promise and you not getting what you wanted?

Turns out he's another gaslighting arsehole.

Goldleafcat · 02/10/2025 03:34

Zov · 01/10/2025 21:51

@Goldleafcat

I would suggest reading the OP again. It is a beauty advent calendar. Often in high demand and they sell out fast. The OP advised this was the case.
Not a 2026 calendar with dates and crap on to hang on your wall.

I DID read the OP's original post properly. AND all the rest she posted. Not at any point did she say it's an advent calendar! How on earth was I - or anyone else - meant to know?

The OP's posts say it's a calendar and would be a Christmas present. A Christmas present would be given on 25th December. A 'calendar' would start in 1st January.

If it was an advent calendar that she was going to receive on 1st December, she should have said. I'm not a mindreader.

Maybe YOU need to read the OP's posts a bit better. She did NOT mention it's an advent calendar.

@TheHillIsMine

You've misunderstood what type of calendar it is..

Same message to you. The OP did NOT say it was an advent calendar in her opening post. Indeed, as a pp said, she doesn't mention it's an advent calendar in ANY of her posts. Like many others, I have zero interest in beauty calendars, so how the hell was I meant to know it was an advent calendar? As I said, I'm not a mindreader. The OP never mentioned it, and she said it was going to be a Christmas present, not a present given to her on December the 1st. 🙄

Tad defensive much?

DancingInTheBroadDaylight · 02/10/2025 03:13

It is utterly irrelevant if posters think the calendar is a waste of money or not. The point is that OP wanted it, was going to buy it for herself, her partner got involved without her asking, and now she doesn't have what she wanted. Of course she's entitled to be annoyed and of course she isn't being ungrateful.

DancingInTheBroadDaylight · 02/10/2025 03:07

StarlightRobot · 01/10/2025 19:12

I think it is a bit ungrateful- I would be so delighted if my DH offered something like this. Surely they will restock before Christmas and he will be able to buy one for you.

Why would you be delighted? Because of OP's DH she doesn't have the item that she wanted. If he hadn't interfered she would have it

ChickpeaCauliflowerSalad · 02/10/2025 02:38

zeebra · 01/10/2025 17:33

I seem to be the only one but give him a break- it is the 1st October! It is still a long way from Christmas so I can understand his lack of urgency.

This!!

I wouldn't interpret 'it sells out quickly' to mean I need to buy an advent calendar in SEPTEMBER.

if it was something do time critical ud have just bought it myself & he could chose something else. Or if we had separate money he could trf ne the money.

There are bound to be some bring resold on eBay as soon as they're sent out.

or just make s list of the products you really wanted & maybe he can get you some of those or a different calendar

September is far too early to be sulking over what you didn't get for Christmas 🙇🏻‍♀️

MyAmusedPearlSquid · 02/10/2025 02:07

You could of got I yourself to be fair if you wanted it so bad

Abouttoblow · 02/10/2025 01:28

FlyingHigher · 01/10/2025 17:48

If you wanted it that badly, OP, you should have declined your DP's offer and just bought it yourself!

Adults buying each other presents that they could easily buy for themselves seems peculiar, to me. But I am probably a bit odd, to be fair.

Yes. You are.

soontobeamama · 01/10/2025 23:02

Could he have actually bought it already but is letting you think he hasn’t, as he wants to surprise you?

TheHillIsMine · 01/10/2025 22:49

Zov · 01/10/2025 21:51

@Goldleafcat

I would suggest reading the OP again. It is a beauty advent calendar. Often in high demand and they sell out fast. The OP advised this was the case.
Not a 2026 calendar with dates and crap on to hang on your wall.

I DID read the OP's original post properly. AND all the rest she posted. Not at any point did she say it's an advent calendar! How on earth was I - or anyone else - meant to know?

The OP's posts say it's a calendar and would be a Christmas present. A Christmas present would be given on 25th December. A 'calendar' would start in 1st January.

If it was an advent calendar that she was going to receive on 1st December, she should have said. I'm not a mindreader.

Maybe YOU need to read the OP's posts a bit better. She did NOT mention it's an advent calendar.

@TheHillIsMine

You've misunderstood what type of calendar it is..

Same message to you. The OP did NOT say it was an advent calendar in her opening post. Indeed, as a pp said, she doesn't mention it's an advent calendar in ANY of her posts. Like many others, I have zero interest in beauty calendars, so how the hell was I meant to know it was an advent calendar? As I said, I'm not a mindreader. The OP never mentioned it, and she said it was going to be a Christmas present, not a present given to her on December the 1st. 🙄

Maybe don't comment then.