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Original poster

Am I ungrateful because DP didn’t buy the calendar I wanted before it sold out?

657 replies

Gillinggold · 01/10/2025 17:28

I had a shit week last week and DP knew I was browsing beauty calendar’s. He asked which one I liked and I told him the name of the one I was going to buy.

He told me not to buy it and that he’d treat me to it as one of his Christmas presents to me. I was really grateful and said it sells out quick so to be aware of that.

Lo and behold, he’s gone to buy it and it’s sold out and not coming back in stock. I was annoyed, said I really had my eye on it and would have happily brought it myself as originally intended.

He says I’m being ungrateful and that it’s not his fault. Well, I told him he’d need to get a move on at the time and feel really annoyed now….

OP posts:
TheFunDog · 02/10/2025 18:44

I understand your frustration.. Men are a strange breed... But really?? Get a life? 😂

Spinmerightroundbaby · 02/10/2025 18:43

Gillinggold · 01/10/2025 17:28

I had a shit week last week and DP knew I was browsing beauty calendar’s. He asked which one I liked and I told him the name of the one I was going to buy.

He told me not to buy it and that he’d treat me to it as one of his Christmas presents to me. I was really grateful and said it sells out quick so to be aware of that.

Lo and behold, he’s gone to buy it and it’s sold out and not coming back in stock. I was annoyed, said I really had my eye on it and would have happily brought it myself as originally intended.

He says I’m being ungrateful and that it’s not his fault. Well, I told him he’d need to get a move on at the time and feel really annoyed now….

He’s the AH here. You told him he’d need to buy it quickly because it would sell out. He should’ve listened.

latetothefisting · 02/10/2025 18:35

NoSoapJustUseShowerGel · 02/10/2025 18:14

I’m going to stick up for him and say that although you told him it sells out quickly, he probably didn’t think it would be THAT quick - it was only 1st October! He tried to buy it just a few days after you’d talked about it - he didn’t leave it for weeks.
If you were that concerned you should have spelt it out more clearly - if you don’t buy it immediately on the day it comes out then it will be sold out. Sells out quickly is too vague.

Edited

you know what, I can see that argument, as I too wouldn't expect them to sell out that quickly. However I still maintain that he's being a dick because surely any decent ADULT would still take responsibility, apologise, explain, proactively suggest what he can do to fix it (i.e. look on ebay, see what items she really wanted and get them separately, go on a waitlist), etc. regardless of it possibly being an understandable mistake, it was still his mistake.

Not start whining about it not being his fault, and, bizarrely, accusing her of being ungrateful - what is she supposed to be grateful for, exactly?

sanityisamyth · 02/10/2025 18:31

Soontobe60 · 01/10/2025 17:37

YABU because ‘beauty calendars’ are just ridiculous marketing ploys developed to get people to buy a load of stuff they would never normally buy with the vague hope that there would be some sort of miracle potion that will turn you into a thing of beauty.
Your Dp has done you a massive favour!

This.

latetothefisting · 02/10/2025 18:30

warmapplepies · 01/10/2025 17:50

I think I must be odd too as I totally agree with you.

It would never occur to me to ask my partner to buy me something I could get myself.

Show quote history

do you not understand the concept of 'a present?'

Hollybollyhughes · 02/10/2025 18:30

Is this a really important issue? Ask for a memorable event, days away? Maybe not just consumerism. Sorry if you're disappointed but think about is this a deal braker or not.

opencecilgee · 02/10/2025 18:29

Honestly ! You lot are up in arms about an advent calendar

will you have a word with yourselves

Calmetoi · 02/10/2025 18:29

This brings me back to Buzz Lightyear in 1995. My mother said she would get it for my 3 year old and it sold out immediately. Some people just don’t understand urgent shopping. Really though he did try in September ( and you aren’t three!). I am still annoyed though i did move mountains to get it for Xmas..

opencecilgee · 02/10/2025 18:28

Soontobe60 · 01/10/2025 17:37

YABU because ‘beauty calendars’ are just ridiculous marketing ploys developed to get people to buy a load of stuff they would never normally buy with the vague hope that there would be some sort of miracle potion that will turn you into a thing of beauty.
Your Dp has done you a massive favour!

Agree

justneedgoodsleep · 02/10/2025 18:22

Gillinggold · 01/10/2025 17:52

He meant that I should be grateful he kindly offered to buy me it

I think he should be grateful you’ve not bitten his head off.

EdithBond · 02/10/2025 18:18

Gillinggold · 01/10/2025 17:52

He meant that I should be grateful he kindly offered to buy me it

An offer isn’t something to be grateful for. You can appreciate his intention was good. But what would you be thankful for? The muck up and missing out?

But it wouldn’t be a hill I’d die on. The kind thought was there, even though the outcome was worse than getting it yourself.

Jellybunny56 · 02/10/2025 18:17

Blablibladirladada · 02/10/2025 17:53

Of course he wouldn’t know…hence she told him…

If he couldn’t buy here and then then he should have said it is best he treats her to something else to avoid disappointment.

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She didn’t tell him to buy it right here right now. No sane person would think “be quick as these advent calendars are popular” would mean “it will sell out by October 1st”.

He hasn’t waited until November 30th.

Okiedokie123 · 02/10/2025 18:16

@Gillinggold yanbu.
You fancied it, he offered to buy it, you told him to be quick. He wasn’t :(
The fact that it’s expensive and some of us (me) wouldn’t want it is irrelevant.

Sharptonguedwoman · 02/10/2025 18:14

Ponderingwindow · 01/10/2025 17:49

He could have pulled out his phone and bought it right that moment. Why delay when you told him stock was limited?

this feels like sabotage. Why would you be grateful?

I honestly don’t think so. It’s just an annoying lesson to him. Selling out by Oct 1st is a bit odd.

NoSoapJustUseShowerGel · 02/10/2025 18:14

I’m going to stick up for him and say that although you told him it sells out quickly, he probably didn’t think it would be THAT quick - it was only 1st October! He tried to buy it just a few days after you’d talked about it - he didn’t leave it for weeks.
If you were that concerned you should have spelt it out more clearly - if you don’t buy it immediately on the day it comes out then it will be sold out. Sells out quickly is too vague.

Okiedokie123 · 02/10/2025 18:13

@FlyingHigher gosh you sound fun. Do you never buy presents for other people? Never receive them either cos why bother if you can buy it yourself?
I admit it’s lovely to buy exactly what I want to have. But it’s also lovely of someone else buys me something. It’s lovely someone is making an effort, showing they care, are thinking of me.
Never buying/receiving gifts sounds like a pretty joyless existence to me.

MyPinkTraybake · 02/10/2025 18:08

Yeah he doesnt get to police your feelings . I'd be annoyed. Is there a backstory?

cheziebabe · 02/10/2025 18:03

next time you say to anything like that. I'll get it just to be sure and you give me the money

Arregaithel · 02/10/2025 18:01

@Gillinggold on their site it's currently saying "no longer stocked online"

Which may suggest you could be lucky instore if you're anywhere near one

Snugglemonkey · 02/10/2025 18:00

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 01/10/2025 17:35

Oh I had one like this! I'd tell him it would sell out fast and he would say 'oh, I'm sure there will be some left', as though I were lying to try to hurry him up. And then he wouldn't be able to get it and it would, somehow be my fault that things had gone just the way I predicted...

Can you ask for a slightly more expensive one, to get it made up to you?

A MUCH more expensive one, or every single individual item in it in a remade (professional) advent calendar?

TheAquaTraybake · 02/10/2025 17:59

Paraphrasing your comment - he says you should be grateful he offered to buy it?😆😆 Okay but then he proceeded to not buy it.

I could offer to clean your house for you, not clean it, then demand you be grateful because I offered. 😆

What on earth has he achieved that you should be grateful for?

Is there anything else he can not get for you for Christmas?

RoamingToaster · 02/10/2025 17:55

How long was it from when he said he'd buy it to when he tried to do it? Sorry if I've missed that. I think it was later the same day or a few days after then I'd be annoyed I didn't get it but it's not really his fault as I wouldn't think it'd be selling out that fast.

Blablibladirladada · 02/10/2025 17:53

Jellybunny56 · 02/10/2025 16:58

Massive difference here being that he didn’t leave it last minute, it was the 1st of fucking October! I’m a woman and even I would never have thought it would sell out 2 whole months in advance. Not at all comparable to offering someone a lift at a specific time and then sleeping in.

Show quote history

Of course he wouldn’t know…hence she told him…

If he couldn’t buy here and then then he should have said it is best he treats her to something else to avoid disappointment.

Blablibladirladada · 02/10/2025 17:52

If you were ready to buy it but he stopped you…to then fail to buy it.

yeah…that is not being ungrateful, that is being rightfully annoyed 😒 Buying something doesn’t allow you to fail 👀

Jellybunny56 · 02/10/2025 16:58

NewBalonz · 02/10/2025 15:51

Imagine you offered to give him a lift to the airport. He warned you that it was a very early flight but you said you wanted to do it anyway and told him not to book a taxi. Flight day, you oversleep and end up not picking him up. He misses his flight. Oops! Well, he should be GRATEFUL that you offered him a ride. After all ; it was a very early flight, so that's a big favour.

Massive difference here being that he didn’t leave it last minute, it was the 1st of fucking October! I’m a woman and even I would never have thought it would sell out 2 whole months in advance. Not at all comparable to offering someone a lift at a specific time and then sleeping in.