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Original poster

Am I ungrateful because DP didn’t buy the calendar I wanted before it sold out?

657 replies

Gillinggold · 01/10/2025 17:28

I had a shit week last week and DP knew I was browsing beauty calendar’s. He asked which one I liked and I told him the name of the one I was going to buy.

He told me not to buy it and that he’d treat me to it as one of his Christmas presents to me. I was really grateful and said it sells out quick so to be aware of that.

Lo and behold, he’s gone to buy it and it’s sold out and not coming back in stock. I was annoyed, said I really had my eye on it and would have happily brought it myself as originally intended.

He says I’m being ungrateful and that it’s not his fault. Well, I told him he’d need to get a move on at the time and feel really annoyed now….

OP posts:
TeddySchnauzer · 02/10/2025 19:51

*bought

Blablibladirladada · 02/10/2025 19:48

Jellybunny56 · 02/10/2025 18:17

She didn’t tell him to buy it right here right now. No sane person would think “be quick as these advent calendars are popular” would mean “it will sell out by October 1st”.

He hasn’t waited until November 30th.

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« Be careful, they go fast »…not enough?
Nah…

If someone said that to me, I would have looked out for it or said I can’t do it and will find something else. Nothing to do with sanity, more empathy or caring?

Let’s be clear, she isn’t saying it is the end of the world. But she surely isn’t ungrateful.

G5000 · 02/10/2025 19:48

yes that's how I always think. Bought a new perfume today, if only someone had suggested I could spend that money on a German Shepherd..

LHP118 · 02/10/2025 19:44

Maybe it's just me.... But the men in my life are laid back. Urgency for them is, possibly, maybe, in a few days time. For me, it's in the next 5 minutes.

So, I do the time limited actions and I will get myself gifts from him. And buy his choice of gifts for him, etc.

Allthatshines1992 · 02/10/2025 19:42

G5000 · 02/10/2025 19:40

Why are people telling OP what she should or should not spend money on? Maybe she WANTS the beauty calendar? Why should she get a cat or pyjamas instead?

Suggesting alternatives she may not have thought of because she's being scammed if she buys that. She'll still look the same.

Missingpop · 02/10/2025 19:42

Ffs it’s a calendar a bit of paper with numbers on get over yourself

G5000 · 02/10/2025 19:40

Why are people telling OP what she should or should not spend money on? Maybe she WANTS the beauty calendar? Why should she get a cat or pyjamas instead?

DashboardConfession · 02/10/2025 19:39

Soontobe60 · 01/10/2025 17:48

No he hasn’t! Maybe he didn’t realise that a beauty advent calendar has to be bought in September!

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Well she told him, so he must be incredibly hard of hearing or comprehension.

Greenwriter76 · 02/10/2025 19:38

I would have just bought it myself at the time and asked him for the money if he wanted to buy it as a Christmas present.

Communication wasn’t specific enough here - you probably needed to say: ‘you need to get it now as it will sell out by tomorrow’, which probably would have ended in the above scenario anyway.

I love beauty and skincare but couldn’t get worked up by this or anything else I can think of buying actually, another product is always round the corner.

Stillawakeatmidnight · 02/10/2025 19:35

This is annoying. It's an irritation. But it should be kept in proportion. Tell him calmly how you feel. Let him make it up to you. Move on.

Shelaydownunderthetable · 02/10/2025 19:27

That’s really annoying OP. YANBU!

Squatsandsnacks · 02/10/2025 19:25

You are not ungrateful. I completely understand. Either find one on eBay for him to buy or a more expensive one xx

Dunderheided · 02/10/2025 19:21

Honestly, skincare & make-up is probably one of the single best aspects of your life to apply the concept of expensive minimalism. I’d see these calendars as just annoying collections of samples that create clutter in my tiny house.

If you’re lucky enough to have £350 to burn, get your DP to spend it on a pair of silk pyjamas for a luxury Christmas Eve box.

G5000 · 02/10/2025 19:05

Allthatshines1992 · 02/10/2025 18:54

Just Googled it, what a load of crap. You could put £350 towards buying a Bengal Cat. You could go on holiday, heck you could put it in a savings pot for a facelift when you turn 40...

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and I consider paying hundreds for a cat a load of crap, I'd rather have the creams. I won't come on your cat shopping thread to tell you what a load of crap it is, though.

CoffeeLipstickKeys · 02/10/2025 19:02

MyPinkTraybake · 02/10/2025 18:08

Yeah he doesnt get to police your feelings . I'd be annoyed. Is there a backstory?

Ok,he doesn’t get to police her feelings
Conversely,he doesn’t need to accommodate her misplaced ire
she doesn’t get to police his feelings either, cuts both ways
Seeing you asked,wonder if there a back story of her to him?

Celledora · 02/10/2025 18:58

Just out of interest, is there anything he likes that sells out on release? That he knows he’d need to put a reminder in his calendar to buy on the day or very quickly, to ensure he gets it?

ClairDeLaLune · 02/10/2025 18:57

Ungrateful? Does he know what that word means? It’s pretty hard to be grateful for sweet fuck all.

Allthatshines1992 · 02/10/2025 18:54

Gillinggold · 01/10/2025 17:46

SpaceNK

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Just Googled it, what a load of crap. You could put £350 towards buying a Bengal Cat. You could go on holiday, heck you could put it in a savings pot for a facelift when you turn 40...

Allthatshines1992 · 02/10/2025 18:52

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 01/10/2025 17:38

There's always one....

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She's not wrong though. It's a nonsense marketing ploy. There are a hundred or more better uses for £350

JenXWarrior · 02/10/2025 18:50

Edit - you'd answered my question in a PP ❤

NoSoapJustUseShowerGel · 02/10/2025 18:50

70sMuuMuu · 02/10/2025 18:45

If only he’d been told by somebody… oh…

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She didn’t say that though! She didn’t give a deadline. It was only 1st October when he tried to buy - most people would assume that for something not needed for another two months, there would still be time to buy even with the knowledge that they sell out “quickly”. She should have been more specific as he actually did act quickly- just not quickly enough.

Allthatshines1992 · 02/10/2025 18:49

WatchingTheDetective · 01/10/2025 22:44

Lots of them on eBay going for £350+

£350 for an advent calendar. It's only the beginning of October. What a huge waste of money on goo and gunk that could be channeled into something useful. People could go on holiday for £350 or spend it on their kids

70sMuuMuu · 02/10/2025 18:47

sanityisamyth · 02/10/2025 18:31

This.

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Someone up-thread said ‘there’s always one.’ It turns out, there’s often two.

70sMuuMuu · 02/10/2025 18:46

TheFunDog · 02/10/2025 18:44

I understand your frustration.. Men are a strange breed... But really?? Get a life? 😂

I love it when people tell others to get a life, it’s nearly always the best indicator of who actually is lacking something fundamental.

70sMuuMuu · 02/10/2025 18:45

Soontobe60 · 01/10/2025 17:48

No he hasn’t! Maybe he didn’t realise that a beauty advent calendar has to be bought in September!

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If only he’d been told by somebody… oh…

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