Am I ungrateful because DP didn’t buy the calendar I wanted before it sold out?

TBH YABU I don’t think he was in the wrong. It’s not like he left it for a month and Christmas is still some time away. I think it was a lovely gesture and your post was dated 1/10 so hadn’t left it long before trying to order it.

If he has got it, telling her he didn't is an absolutely dick move. It doesn't make it a lovely surprise. It means she spends two months feeling disappointed about not getting it.

I think I would be annoyed especially if I was going to buy it myself and he stopped me.
Having let him know he needs to buy it quickly then he doesn't. I would feel let down. It is only a calendar. But it's not about the calendar is it?
What if she had done it when he was going to buy i.e concert tickets for his favourite band. Oh well maybe their next tour darling. Don't be ungrateful I did try.

As for those saying about how quick they sell out. I have to buy my dogs calendar in Oct or they sell out within a week. And that's a dog calendar.

Christmas decorations have been in the stores since the end of August. October is late for Christmas stuff.

OP was going to treat herself to something. Her partner said he'd buy it. Not only did he not buy it as it sold out, he didn't get her anything else. She completely lost out on something she was going to buy herself until her partner decided he wanted to be a hero. Failed. Then said, screw it and made himself the victim. 🙄
He sounds very immature and insincere.

a) you are being a total brat. Sorry. I am genuinely surprised that the majority of the poll say otherwise
b) he may well have gotten it and he’s just telling you he didn’t so that it’s a lovely surprise. Which makes you seem like even more of a brat.

I know this reads abruptly, and I don’t INTEND to cause offence, but I honestly find this breathtakingly poor for a grown adult.

If anything I want is selling out I buy it myself even if he was buying it as I am impatient and I know how disappointing it will be if I don’t get it. My husband doesn’t have the same level of urgency he’s busy. He’s really kind and thoughtful and in the past I’ve said I really want these shoes or something and he’d say I’ll get you them. Then I’d say they have just one left and he’d say. Just get them. He says he prefers to buy them for me but understands there are very few left and how important it is.
communication might be the issue here with the calendar perhaps ??

You'll take what I give you and like it, or get nothing.

What a treat. Have you always been so romantic?

Could he have bought it but putting it away for Christmas for the surprise?

I bet she’ll be relieved to hear that.

She’ll be able to go out any buy herself some decent gifts instead of the shitty flowers and chocolates from the petrol station yet again. 🤔

Yep. But, the post wasn't AIBU to have wanted something that contributes to environmental degradation, was it?
It's utterly fascinating that people have to derail a thread with sanctimony. 🤓

I don't think it's about gratitude, I think it's about reasonableness. My experience (quite long at this point) is that doing something quick for men often means something different for us. If your heart was set on it, you should have just said no, I'll do it, but I'll give you a list of things I'd love to have for Christmas. He probably thought he was being quick, as Christmas is still three months away...

Realist? No, a mean girl.

At your age, you should have grown out of such childish behaviour towards others.

Interesting word, ungrateful. That would suggest he had done something - provided you with something, even - for which you should be thankful. In this instance, I presume what he considers he gave you was the idea of having bought something you wanted. Because it's the thought that counts, right? I'm wondering how he plans to wrap his thought - gift-wrapped or in a £1.75 gift bag from Tesco.

From the title, I would have said you were being unreasonable, but your content? Heck no. I'd be upset and probably angry if my finger had been on the buy button of something I really wanted, then been dissuaded with the promise of it as a Christmas present, just to lose out.

What part of what happened afforded the OPs partner grace?

You misunderstand what chat forums and the internet are, love.

What a drip!! You even warned him - he clearly didn't listen. I'd be disappointed too.

I agree. They also contribute significantly to environmental degradation - all those plastic containers will go straight to landfill. Advent calendars used to be for children. I think that OP's partner meant "ungracious" rather than ungrateful, and I agree with him.

Some people have real problems.

OP really wanted something to cheer her up.
it was a particularly thing in limited quantity.
Her DH said he'd get it for her, but didn't.
He fucked up.
Not the end of the world, BUT. HE KNEW SHE WANTED SOMETHING VERY SPECIFIC, and he was lazy about getting it.

People really are dicks, aren’t they?

hope you’ve found a similar replacement for yourself OP.

FGS. Scroll. On. 🙄

There will be people on here who have all kinds of big problems that you don’t know about, and they are simply posting about their smaller ones because those are the ones where they aren’t actually sure if they are being unreasonable. ‘AIBU to be upset about my bereavement’ doesn’t really work, does it?

Same goes to you, @MyOpenJadeGoose

You’re meant to be grateful that he stopped you buying something you really wanted and then he messed up so you’re left with nothing? Nice attempt at blame-shifting from him. YANBU.

If this is the biggest problem in your life then consider yourself lucky.
It's an advent calender.
It's October.
You are an adult.
Just buy the crap you want in them.

You are being COMPLETELY UNREASONABLE ! If you’re angry about something so petty and stupid as this, ask yourself what is important in life? Get over it! Your going to create discontent over a “ beauty calendar “?? If a beauty calendar is SO IMPORTANT to you, then you indeed have your priorities screwed up!