WFH with a baby

Because the man with a sah wife knows that there is a capable parent there for his child/ren so he can switch off from home life and focus solely on work.
If you’re the only parent at home and you hear your child in distress then you’ll naturally be distracted from work.

That's really interesting. In our govt dept, it specifically states in our policy that childcare must be in place for all hours of the working day (unless for emergencies eg. child sent home from nursery unwell). Always amazes me how the different depts can have such different rules when we are all the civil service.

OP, if you could have an office on a different floor of your house, or in a garden room, I reckon you'd be absolutely fine with a nanny in the house. In the same open plan or downstairs area, id worry it might be too distracting.

Not true at all. Some people are capable of being professional.

On the other hand, there is also the argument that the 9 to 5 is done and employees aren't really doing it at all now - in all sectors. But employers are desperately clinging to that model.

In addition, the endless coffee / tea making in the workplace is a right time waste to me and has always annoyed me.

I work for a Govt Dept & have 2 colleagues who do this. They both have parents/carers nearby who can take the child should it be needed. But, because of our flexible working policy and the nature of our job which can be done at anytime of the day, they manage to WFH logging on at about 05:00-06:00, taking a break to feed child & finishing at about 11:00. Their children often feature in Teams meetings saying 'hello' to 'mummy's work friends' (which we love as our pets also often feature), but they are both good children who get on with playing while mummy works with the odd intervention from mum which is no more distracting than the postman knocking on the door, Amazon deliveries, husbands checking if we want a cuppa etc which the not mum's have.

It’s fine.
Im on mat leave and my parter WFH and he doesn’t dash in every time the baby cries. I’ve done a few ad hoc days work and my mum comes to look after the baby and when I hear him cry I leave her to it, as I trust she’s doing just fine.

I am in no way agreeing with you, I found your view outdated and hugely sexist.

HTH

Hire robots then.

Women returning from mat leave are allowed time to pump. There’s no difference.

I should say, we did this with my parents as childcare and they generally took the baby out and about for significant periods of the day. They said to help me concentrate (which it did help, definitely) but may also have been to stop me worrying/fussing/interfering. Baby was formula fed in this scenario.

@HollyIvy89 and is young baby being breastfed?? if so, how do you propose to feed the baby while working??

Because the man is also the parent.

Wow.

Um … there’s no ‘clearly’ about it. If you have a nanny, then she has sole charge. Full stop. And good nannies prefer this as it does not encroach on their role.

Your unfair assumptions are likely driving women out of the workforce.

Not at all, even if you have to fit a tiny fold down desk in your bedroom and shut the door. Nice to have quick baby snuggles during coffee break and lunch break.

I tried this and found it hard to focus tbh because I could hear DS cry at times.

I don't know if you're agreeing with me but I stand by my observation.

Why would a man stop work when they have the baby's mother on hand and in charge?

It's just nature that a mother's reaction to hearing the same with a paid carer isnt going to be to totally undistracted

I went back to work at 6 months post partum. Baby's bedroom is next to my home office. No issue whatsoever.

I would pop in to breastfeed him. Nanny did an excellent job the rest of the time. It meant I got more time with him as well as I wasn't wasting time on a commute.

I did have to be strict with myself to not interfere as I reminded myself that I would just be making the nanny's job harder in the long run.

It's actually harder to WFH with a toddler as they know that you are there. But a baby? No issue.

What job requires you to be glued to your screen for the whole entire work day and not take 5 mind to give a baby a cuddle? She says she has a nanny so doubtful that would even happen.

If there is someone else to care for the baby and you can trust yourself to leave them to it, then it’s fine.

I used to do this when my kids were toddlers. They would wave me off to work at the door, I’d drive round the corner and park, then walk back and sneak in to my office while their carer distracted them. Then they didn’t want to disturb me all day because they didn’t know I was there.

At the end of the day I’d sneak out while they were distracted, drive the car back home and come in to a wonderful welcome!

Yes of course that’s fine so long as you have a private workspace with a door, the nanny knows not to disturb you and they will do plenty of baby/toddler groups out of the house. Loads of men do this whilst their partner is on mat leave/a SAHM.

You could possibly be more exist, but....?

is there space. are you in calls or online meetings? would a crying baby be an issue. What happens if the baby is upset otherwise. Can you work?

I have to say, it wouldn't be for me and far too distracting. Can you go to the office instead or and baby to nursery?

I’ve always wondered how dads with stay at home wives manage to do it. It must be so distracting whenever they want to get a coffee or go to the loo!? I think complete separation is easier, but appreciate that’s not always possible.

I had a colleague whose mum looked after her toddler at home and she was constantly away from her desk and ended up working most evenings to make up for it. Nightmare for all involved.

Of course it’s absolutely fine.

I did this for years - hybrid working with a nanny caring for my DD. It was lovely as I could still feed her to sleep for her naps and we would often have lunch together. Outside of these times (breaks I was obviously allowed to take) I didn’t see her because the nanny was excellent and they were out at classes and playgroups etc a lot anyway.

So you think it’s reasonable for a man to work this way (with a baby in the same house) but not for a woman? But I assume you wouldn’t think that was an acceptable policy for a company to have?
My company’s policy is that you cannot be responsible for the care of a child while wfh. So whether it’s the child’s other parent, another family member or paid childcare, someone else has to be there. I think this is very reasonable, and obviously it applies to mothers and fathers.

They do but I'd hazard a guess that for not many of those men would it enter their heads to interrupt their work if they could hear the baby crying

It's very similar but not exactly the same imo