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Original poster

How would you split the cost of this trip?

361 replies

GetBendyWithWendy · 01/10/2025 09:44

Surprise birthday trip for the parent of adult children.

Attending:
The other parent.
One adult child with a spouse and teen.
One single childless adult child.

OP posts:
HairsprayBabe · 01/10/2025 11:24

In our family we just divide the total costs between the number of paying adults.

So if the total cost of the trip was £500 and 5 adults were paying it would be £100 each.

Children/teens and non-paying adults get spread between everyone. We all like each other though and I wouldn't begrudge helping a family member with a child out even if it cost me more.

dontmalbeconme · 01/10/2025 11:23

GetBendyWithWendy · 01/10/2025 11:18

25%/25%/50% isn't a gift, it's just everyone paying for themselves.

I don’t see how you work that out. Everyone paying for themselves would mean everyone paying a sixth.

Everyone is paying for their own room.

Family unit of parents, use one room pay for one room
Family unit of couple plus teen, use 2 rooms, pay for 2 rooms.
Single uses 1 room, pays for 1 room.

No gifting involved, each family unit pays for the rooms they occupy.

Paganpentacle · 01/10/2025 11:21

GetBendyWithWendy · 01/10/2025 10:24

There are five adults, with one not paying.

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Then split it 4 ways then

PurpleThistle7 · 01/10/2025 11:21

I mean to be honest if it's causing this much drama maybe it's a bad idea. People shouldn't do 'gifts' they can't easily afford.

If my brother and I were going to do this, we'd split it between us and treat our parents. As it's a gift. But it sounds like there are money concerns so maybe this isn't an achievable gift?

So between family it should really be a conversation around who can afford what as opposed to making it work on a spreadsheet.

ARichtGoodDram · 01/10/2025 11:19

Is the teen having their own room? If so I'd split per room - that way the organising parent and single child pay 1/4 and the family pay 2/4.

Appleblum · 01/10/2025 11:18

Each sibling pays for his own family group. Parents' costs split evenly between the siblings.

Original poster
GetBendyWithWendy · 01/10/2025 11:18

25%/25%/50% isn't a gift, it's just everyone paying for themselves.

I don’t see how you work that out. Everyone paying for themselves would mean everyone paying a sixth.

OP posts:
MattDillonsEyebrows · 01/10/2025 11:18

Why is this hard??

Option 1: You split 5 ways and each person pays equally (obvs the parent would hopefully pay for the teen).

Or depending on the generosity of the spouse and single adult child,

Option 2 is that you split 4 ways and spouse and adult child pay 1/2 each and family pays 1/2. TBH, I doubt it would make that much difference to the cost.

However it does depend on the number of rooms, If splitting using option 2, the teenager has to either share or take the smallest room. If splitting using option 1, I would not expect the teenager to be automatically given the small room.

If I was the family I would want option 1 and probably still put the teen in the smallest room though tbf.

Original poster
GetBendyWithWendy · 01/10/2025 11:17

LoveWine123 · 01/10/2025 11:16

Because that’s three separate family units / three household incomes.

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Even if one household has two earners and is also bringing their child?

OP posts:
LoveWine123 · 01/10/2025 11:16

GetBendyWithWendy · 01/10/2025 10:17

If all adult children are working adults with salaries then you split the accommodation and present three ways and everyone pays for their own travel expenses.

Why only three?

Because that’s three separate family units / three household incomes.

dontmalbeconme · 01/10/2025 11:14

If the whole holiday is a gift from 3 people, then splitting it in 3rds seems reasonable.

If it's just a shared cost holiday, no-one gifting anyone, then I'd split by room.

25%/25%/50% isn't a gift, it's just everyone paying for themselves.

itbemay1 · 01/10/2025 11:14

I would split 50/50 with my sibling and not ask non suprise parent to pay either

SirBasil · 01/10/2025 11:14

GetBendyWithWendy · 01/10/2025 10:36

So you mean including the teen as one of the five?

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Are they getting a room? How is the room split?

You could split by room with parent paying half divide the rest?

caringcarer · 01/10/2025 10:59

Birthday person gets 1 free bedroom and shares with spouse. Everyone else pays for however many rooms they use. If middle family use 2 rooms they pay for 2 rooms plus half of birthday persons room. Single person pays for 1 room plus half of birthday persons room. Food split per person minus birthday person.

PurpleThistle7 · 01/10/2025 10:57

Oh and then it is up to the two 'children' and spouse of the birthday person if the 'children' put in more as it's meant to be a treat for their parent and if the other parent is paying that's not really a gift anymore...so maybe the house is split by bedroom and then the 'children' pay for the food?

PurpleThistle7 · 01/10/2025 10:55

I always prefer paying by bedroom for the holiday house, paying per person for food / activities / flights.

alwaysthesamechild · 01/10/2025 10:54

I assume you’re a single person ?

It definitely should be split proportionately.

I’d guess that the Adult child with the teenager (classed as adult in air bnb) want to split it three ways? And that’s not fair

BonneMaman77 · 01/10/2025 10:50

The two adult children pay for both parents - occupancy and if they can afford it the food (because parents are going to pay to eat even at home).
each of the two adult children pay for their occupancy cost of their families.
each of the two children pay for their food consumption

Are there financial strains?

catchafluflu · 01/10/2025 10:45

Not sure how old the teen is as there's quite a difference between 13 and 16-19. Do they need their own room?

reversingdumptruckwithnotyreson · 01/10/2025 10:41

GetBendyWithWendy · 01/10/2025 09:54

Sorry, I should have added that the cost is for one large holiday home on an Airbnb type site.

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Divide it by the number of people and then everyone pays their share?

Original poster
GetBendyWithWendy · 01/10/2025 10:40

JellyBellies · 01/10/2025 10:27

In my family, in this situation, we would split 4 ways. Other parent and single person pay 1/4 and family pay 2/4

Feels fair, family not penalised too much but single person not having to pay as much as family

This is how I think it should be done too.

OP posts:
Purpleturtle45 · 01/10/2025 10:39

Depends on bedroom split. Does the teen get their own room?

DaisyChain505 · 01/10/2025 10:38

GetBendyWithWendy · 01/10/2025 10:35

One Single parent bringing a child.

There is no single parent with a child. Not sure where you got that from.

Apologies!

But this means my way of splitting stands even more. Split Pp. The solo parties coming (Dad and adult child) shouldn’t have to pay as much as the party of two adults with a child.

harriethoyle · 01/10/2025 10:37

I would split four ways on the expectation that you have an Airbnb with four rooms - one for parents, one for couple, one for teen, one for single.

Present I would split 3 ways between the two "children" and the non-surprise parent.

meals everyone should pay for themselves/their teenager. So married couple and teen one block, overall parents one block, single one block but not an equal division.

llittledoveblue · 01/10/2025 10:36

Teen counts as an adult because likely they’ll need their own room. Spilt the cost per person excluding the birthday parent.