Do I send the kids when they don’t want to go

It doesn’t sound like an ideal schedule if you have all the weekdays and he has all the weekends. I can see why they wouldn’t enjoy that too.

Is your ex reasonable enough to discuss a change in schedule?

Having some weekdays and some weekend days at both houses is always better I think, even if one person has more of the overall time. Neither parent should get all the weekend time - or the kids shouldn’t always have to be away from their “main” home on weekends, to put it better.

My point is yes they should go OP! It doesn’t sound like your ex has done anything wrong except not living with you.

I’m a stepmum to kids of similar ages. No real issues with the adults, all established. EOWE.

If we don’t plan big STUFF with SC, I’m sure they don’t want to come. Yet weekends with their mum are just spent doing chores, watching TV and occasional food shop or the local park. SC never play in their rooms here, they’re always on us for constant interaction and entertainment.

I think it’s normal. They can relax more at “home.”

Well you chose him as their father so unless you go to court and the court decides no then yes you do

I would tell the children that they are going there because he is their daddy, and its daddys weekend. Sometimes it might be a bit boring and sometimes it will be fun, but its not up to you because its daddys time, and that maybe they could tell him what sort of things they want to do with him.

At those ages, providing there's no safeguarding concerns then it's in their best interests to have a relationship with both parents. Letting them say they don't want to go and then not sending them is putting far too much responsibility on such young kids- they can't consider the long term impact it will have on their relationship with their dad because they're kids.

Why is it boring for them? Does he do stuff with them? He’s taking them away so hopefully that’s not boring.
It’s so easy to not be boring for children at those ages that it sounds like he doesn’t do much with them.
It’s always in the children’s best interest to have a good relationship with both parents so I’d facilitate it by sending dc with stuff that helps them not to be bored. Craft or art stuff, a game, a comic.

what’s the current split of time is he eow or 5050?
if eow I would keep sending them as you need a break. I would write to him and share what they’ve said so he’s aware.
if 5050 and he doesn’t do homework I would raise it in writing and then if no improvement reduce his time as you need quality time with kids too.

I’d want to investigate why they don’t want to go. It shouldn’t be a struggle.

I don’t think you can stop them
going to dad’s just because it’s ‘boring’.

I do want them to have a relationship with him, they just say it’s boring. I don’t think it is anything major

It's likely to just be that they don't have their usual stuff around them and it messes with their routine. Just as your post is mainly you moaning about the effect that it has on yours.

That's not remotely enough to deprive their dad of contact with his children. .

Sounds to me as though dads can't win. Mumsnetters are constantly moaning about Disney dads, but now it's fine to say that kids don't need to go and see their dad because it's boring there.

Kids of that age are pretty quick to describe anything as boring. You don't say 'okay then, you can stop having a relationship with your dad for the rest of your life because you get bored there'.
We have no evidence that life is exceptionally dull at his house. He's taking them away for the weekend, for a start.

I'm just imagining a mother being told that she won't be seeing her kids any more because she's not entertaining enough.

They should talk to their Dad about their ‘boredom’. He perhaps doesn’t realise.

Why is it "boring" at his house?

You need a regular contact agreement. The best way to manage that is that he picks them up from school because then you are involved in persuading or discussing.

If he doesn’t stick to it tell him to go to court for a contact order.

You might not want him to have contact now but it’s probably in their best interest to keep a relationship with their father (unless he is abusive etc) and also it’s reasonable that you will need a little break too!

Agree.

Right - and if I need to make them do something boring, then I do. OP's ex wants them to do something boring, so it's him that needs to put in the effort to get them to come, not OP. She already has to make them do the day to day boring stuff like homework and the food shop. He can deal with making see him - it's not her problem.

Well, it's clearly not a good one if they don't want to go?
Don't want to go because it's booooring..... Oh please....how often my kids have told me that my proposed plans for the day were...booooring....because they much preferred to stay in front of the TV than going shopping.

What they didn't know because they were much too young to be able to is that even a trip going shopping was very beneficial. They learn many things and yes, we bonded through the experience. Talking in the car, teaching them about the costs of things, nutrition etc...and we managed to bring in some fun in the mist of it too, with sometimes a treat too.

He is taking them away this weekend, so it's not like he doesn't make any efforts.

Parents who listened to their kids moaning about them being bored are doing them no favours at all, not at this still young age.

Divorce is cruel on children. Many parents like to pretend it isnt

In your situation I would feel obliged to make them available at a certain prearranged time for him to collect. It's up to him to persuade them to leave with him.
Regarding the homework and the reading, the 9 year old is presumably old enough to take responsibility for doing it themselves? Or is their father actively preventing them?

Well, it's clearly not a good one if they don't want to go?

My kids are bored witless at their dads, they don't even notice if they don't see him for a couple of months they still go and visit though, because they are at worst ambivalent (although that did take a bit of gentle persuasion/bribery from me for one of them after he didn't see them for over a year post split). If a child actively doesn't want to go, then they presumably have a reason, and that's what he needs to solve. Not OP.

Stop the contact. If he wants to see his children - he needs to make the effort - stop facilitating him.

It’s down to him to try to persuade them and be interested enough in them that they want to go. You can’t be expected to parent for him. They will no doubt vote with their feet when they are old enough that they will be listened to. For now just let them know they have to go and you don’t have a choice in sending them.