Hybrid is now 4 days no flexibility

I would be looking around, there is absolutely no way I could handle that commute every day. Such a shame if you like the job :(

Such good points. I manage a team, and work in a very busy university teaching environment. Broadly we WFH 2 days a week and onsite 3 days, but I am often in 5 days in busy periods as needed for meetings / teaching etc.

I really value a morning / day to work in a focused way at home, but despite using various communication platforms effectively, there is no way to replace in person communication, especially around sensitive areas or concerns or picking up on nuances.

In my team, several colleagues have moved to a more WFH arrangement due to health issues but it's actually causing them more stress to an extent - they are disconnected from other colleagues and trying to progress their work is harder and more time-consuming. They miss out on quick chats and serendipitous encounters.

Roles that rely on collaboration, shared work, and front-facing services will always face a challenge when the balance tilts to WFH.

For OP though, it's tough, but I think the company are not unreasonable to make this request, but it's not working for you. Your DC has to be your priority and if you can't be available enough to them in your current role, you need to make a move to a new one.

If my work did this I'd be looking for a new job. 3 is as much as I can manage.

The abuse of wfh was awful. Well before the pandemic. People fitting in bit of work whilst doing all sorts and I am heartily sick of people belting that the managers should sort out the people doing this. Why?

What do you mean “why”? Because performance management is part of their job. If there are issues with someone’s work, wherever they are based, obviously their manager should be involved in sorting it out.

"The cost is another matter but that's okay."

"Well paid with excellent benefits."

Some problems are worth throwing money at in the short term while looking for a better long term solution.

Once a neurodiverse child's got EBSA the mum's career quite frequently goes down the pan!

I've got a child with similar SEN and my overriding concern would be the leaving her alone from dawn to dusk, plus the distraction from work of constantly trying to keep tabs on where she is and what she's up to.

It's not just about the commute.

Yes, sorry, I wish I could remember who it was but I will try to find it. She was basically saying that lots of originations are run by men who are used to having a lot of respect and attention in the workplace but they didn’t get it at home during Covid, so they wanted to get back to the office. No idea how much evidence supports theory but it does rather fit with women being impacted negatively with this latest trend.

As others say - there are some choices here. I have wfh and office based over the last 35 years. The abuse of wfh was awful. Well before the pandemic. People fitting in bits of work whilst doing all sorts and I am heartily sick of people bleating that the managers should sort out the people doing this. Why?

We had one situation whereby someone moved from Bristol to the very end of Cornwall and wanted the company to cover their costs for the client meetings from much further away. Any team meetings tended not to include him as his travelling costs were so high eventuaally during a redudancy consultation his name was in the first in the frame.

I worked with someone as a peer and she was never around when there was an urgent client issue and I have never understood people who claim if their work is done what is the issue if they do it within 4 days and slack on the 5th day. Are you seriously saying that you have a specific list of tasks and no more? I have done various roles up to middle management and no role gives me a firm set of tasks and nothing else. What about networking? Thinking up new ways of working, try

I feel sorry for our younger people who are not brushing shoulders with their colleagues and not learning from them.

So refreshing to see this attitude. I employ about 150 people. Just over half can do the main part of their role working remotely and I really want to support this. We mandate "usually" two days in the office to facilitate the less measurable elements and to ensure availability and overlap with colleagues during core hours.

I think you should do what’s best for your child. I used to be in one of the big consulting firms but given that I always have to be on client side Monday-Thursday (Friday from home), I had to move on (this was pre covid). They kept promising me that they will find a project for me in London, 5 years later they didn’t. So I found another job that fits my family needs better. Your teenager in few years will leave home and you ll be able to go back to a crazy busy job. Don’t waste the precious moments for an employer that you are just a number for.

Unfortunately agree. We were taken over by a US financial institution and they’ve denied 90% of all flexible requests. Only medical ones are being considered

It's strange how often people seem to gloss over managers also working from home. In fact it's something they had more opportunity to do long before the rank and file did.

I will never understand why some people are just point blank oppositional on hybrid working

You need to look for another job.

However you need to be aware that more and more employers are increasing days in the office. So you may find a job that’s 2 or 3 days in the office to begin with but then becomes 4 or 5.

Why? This is a perfect balance of ensuring employees engage in office based tasks, peer learning and networking and also focused productivity and task completion that can be done at home more effectively than in the office.
I'm a manager and I 100% see why employees need to be in the office some of the time. But I can see they are more productive in task completion when they WFH (as am I ) so a mix is ideal.

My partner did this commute, Brighton to Canary wharf but getting the 6:08 meant he was at his desk for 7.30! He then left at 3.30 getting the 4 something from London bridge and was home for 5.30. is your commute 4 hours each way, if so that's madness.

Surely whatever they said at interview needed to be written into the contract?

@Abby23 i would imagine you'll have to look for another job if these arrangements don't suit you.

So pay for an overnight babysitter and accommodation in CW 1night a week? That would cost a fortune surely, just to avoid a few hours on the train?

Dont think you'll have any chance of a flexi request with a US bank sadly.

My DH works for a US bank in CW and they mandated 5days a week earlier in the year and he lost quite a few of his team as their flexi requests were all denied.

You do get used it and at least its not 5days. Its the money that will keep you there as they pay so well.

About men?

I was working hybrid (4/1) 20 years ago (not a special request for me, it was something my whole team did). So no, it's not something I'd expect to be temporary

The employer also gets that flexibility too.

Definitely apply for flexible working to continue your current pattern.

I was in a similar situation till last year. Single parent of neurodiverse teen who struggles with school and is just about hanging on there. I was working long, wacky hours and finally cracked last autumn trying to do it all. I left my job, taking a substantial pay cut to do a job with more home working and regular 9-5 hours. It was the best decision for us and I have been able to be home more to support my DC.
Only you know what’s best in your situation but I would absolutely be looking for another job.

I agree with this 100%. I suspect a minority have ruined things for others but this is a major change and I’m sure they are expecting a flurry of requests. I saw someone on TikTok talk about a very an interesting theory as to why people are being called back into the office and it wasn’t about low productivity - but it was about men.

Put in an official flexible working request for 3 days as a carer. My DD has autism & ADHD & needed more support then her peers through out he teenage years. She's 16 now & it still continues in college.