Hybrid is now 4 days no flexibility

I would suggest you put in a flexible working request. I think it’s reasonable.

I work in NHS and flexible working means I can work 1/2 days a week at home and it makes such a different to my work life balance on the days I work from home. I’m baffled why companies would mandate people to have to go into the office when it doesn’t work for everyone for various reasons such as this.

When you say local businesses, I assume you mean city centre ones? Because DH and I have lunch in our local cafe once a week, and it’s much busier than pre-Covid. We’re in a small village, hybrid working has done the opposite of destroy the cafe, it’s probably the reason it’s still open!

But either way, I don’t think the local coffee shops and lunch places, whether near the office or near people’s homes, should really factor into a business’s decision on whether to offer hybrid work.

Perhaps you could rent somewhere within say a 20 min commute for 6 or 12 months and see how goes. Assuming is flexible working turned down.

I don't mean to sound condescending because you are a hardworking single mum. It's just you said

"I have to leave at home at 6am when I leave for work, I’m not back till at least 7 pm. She makes her way to/from school but I feel so guilty. I get home and I’m exhausted. BTW, my teenager is going through an AdHD..."

You are feeling guilty because you aren't able to be there how you would like. You could easily get another three hours most days.

If you were nearer you could even drop her off at school before work to support her attendance. London has some excellent state schools these days.

I think you need to sit down with a pen and think through (a) what are the options and (b).what are the pros and cons of each options. Then talk through as well with your DD.

Then I think the answer is: submit a formal request for flexible working and quote in your request the fact that your verbal offer at interview stated 3 days in office and your family commitments mean you would need an exemption until your dc finishes school.

Tell your manager that if they insist on four days your will only promise to be able to do all four days working 10am to 4pm in the office, take a short lunch (20mins) and make up the missing hours on two evenings a week . That way you manage the exhaustion and can still see your dd off to school at 8am

But surely the onsite location of a job is the deciding factor. Your personal circumstances no matter how challenging are your responsibility and you shouldn't expect favouritism/ special treatment. Afterall, I am sure everyone has their Individual reasons why they need XYZ etc.

Doesn't this help?

HR professional here:

you will need to do a flexible working request. I did one when my company moved to more days in the office and it was declined. As a company we’ve declined most requests but have offered some flexibility

Sadly hybrid won’t be part of your contract as I’m pretty sure it will say London or CW. In your flex request make sure to address the reasons they can turn down (Google it)

Personally I’d look for a new job although the job market is tough

Hybrid working disproportionally affects young people and also destroys local businesses.

It is also a way of further separating different parts of society.

There is a compromise to be had, but 4 days a week seems a fair one to me.

Can you apply for another job closer to home?

I think for a lot of companies the issue is that people moved further from their offices during the lockdowns, whilst continuing to be paid London salaries - and then were unhappy to come back to their offices at all. Not sure if that’s the case with any of your colleagues?

I would frame the request for flexibility in terms of your daughter’s ND because that’s something that reasonably sets you apart from others. I wouldn’t cite distance because it’s a choice to live far from work.

Re: the old white guys, it seems to me that they win every time whether WFH stays or not.

Before WFH they went out to work and had a SAHW picking up everything at home.

Now they still go out to work and their female partners still pick everything up for them but it’s just that they have to do this whilst also working as well (but they can do it “flexibly” so it’s ok).

I don’t know, it just doesn’t feel like progress to me.

My company encouraged everyone above trainee/apprentice level to WFH 1 day a week going back to 2009

It was probably more common than people were aware

For the vast majority of companies and people, it was a new thing. Are you really suggesting it was commonplace before Covid?

Our US HQ has mandated that every one attached to an office move from a flexible 2 days per week/8 days per month as needed to 4 days in the office each week.
It's going to disproportionally affect women & those with caring responsibilities, and in many cases makes no sense as teams are cross global which means there will be people sitting alone in a booth/meeting room in London all day on video with their team in other countries.
The senior team are a bunch of old white guys who worked 70/80 hrs a week in the office or onsite or on the gold course back in the olden days so there's not much sympathy.
Also, as a senior manager, I know the cuts we've been asked to make for overheads - including hiring freezes, pay freezes, redundancies - so very much suspect that this is all meant to try to get as many people to leave in the next 12 months of their own will before the next round of cuts... it saves a lot of money of people leave without a severance package and no replacement is hired.

I am feeling the same. Feels like we have gone backwards rather than forwards.

Ideally yes. But if it wasn’t and it’s therefore too late now there is no harm reminding them of what they said, and the fact it was part of the decision making for OP taking the job.

Sorry, but what evidence?

I love my WFH day but I’ll be the first to admit it’s less productive for the business as a whole than my in-person days. I’m also a senior finance professional.

You can apply for exemption, they have to consider it. You can ask for any reasonable adjustments to your working pattern, location included. They don’t have to agree but under the employment relations flexible working act 2023 you can make 2 formal requests per year. The can refuse for 8 reasons and have 2 months to respond.

My work are trying to do this. I’m home based, my contract has my home address. We’ve been bought out and the new owners want 2 days per week. My commute is terrible, 2.5hours one way usually. I’d never have taken the job if office based, it’s simply too far across a motorway that’s constantly jammed. I’m waiting to find out if they’re trying to change who is considered remote - they’re saying anyone within 60 miles is local, I’m 55 miles away.
I was fully remote in my last job, I’d not have moved - I ensured I had a remote contract but now it’s come to this I’m not sure where I stand. I’ve not been here 2 years so minimum rights.

I've found the move to hybrid working quite life changing and I'm so much more productive at home as less distractions. I wonder if the move is due to your company being from the USA? Trump had his 'Return to in-person work' objective and I wonder if US companies have followed this? It's a shame and all the evidence says working from home increases productivity. If my work increased my office days I would consider moving and I cycle 25 minutes to work not a four hour commute! Maybe the 'flexible working request' would be a good first step.

Don’t think so.

Does it state in your contract that you need to be working in the office all day, or just that you need to come in everyday? I used to work at JP Morgan and most experienced professionals would come in everyday and leave by 3pm.

That argument is like saying 'They're asking disabled and non disabled people back to the office so it's totally fair'. No - it's much harder for disabled people (in general) to work in an office, therefore the policies affect them disproportionately. It's the same for women, who overall in society have more childcare responsibilities, more eldercare, lower pay etc. Just because the request is the same for men and women doesn't mean the effect is the same.

OP, I would (and did) leave. Some firms - including my old one - are struggling to recruit now because of their archaic work practices. My role was filled by someone without adequate experience. Meanwhile, I'm fully remote and loving life. My one life and one chance to be a good mother to my kids. It's a no brainer.

Companies are asking men and women in equal numbers back to office. We are all treated the same?

Or job for job, is anyone saying their employer is targeting women disproportionately?

I can do all of this on a hybrid model.