Not sure I am cut out for more than one child?

Your baby is so small so lots of time to think about this. I have 1 and always thought I’d have 3/4 (I’m one of 6) but my dd is a teen and I adore having 1. We have a very special relationship and a wonderful life. I think I could’ve been a great mum to more than one, but I think I am an excellent mum. I’m not and never have been stressed. I’ve maintained a great career and a social life. We travel loads. Home is a calm, but fun environment. Dd is very sociable so is always doing things with friends and is very dedicated to her hobby which takes up a lot of her (our) time.

Thank you as that is actually comforting! Ive actually welled up at these 2 responses to my post!

That is actually comforting! Thank you!

It might become easier when he's School-aged. Plus if you decide to have another one then he'll be old enough to help to keep the younger one entertained which means less running about for you.

Hahaha see im the opposite... 2 kids, my head was a mess! 3 kids.. what's one more 😂

One kid - OMG what have we done?
Two kids - we've got this, no trouble
Three kids - right, I'm having the snip
Never again!
And I love them all to bits ☺️

I always wanted more than 1. But jesus, no, not at 7 months! I think you’re getting ahead of yourself.

I have a very intentional 5 year age gap, planned so dc1 was out of nursery before dc2 came along. I was not the least bit ready to even contemplate a second child before eldest was about 3.5.

You have plenty of time to make that decision still, even if you want a smaller age gap. At 7 months, all I wanted to do was put the one I had (and Dh) in the bin. 😂

My two are 7 & 12 now and I’m very happy I had a 2nd.

Children need a huge amount of time and effort and are a huge responsibility. I don't think you can have any idea until you actually have one. I only have one, he's an amazing young adult now but I'm so glad I didn't have another.

I'd also advise enjoying the baby yu have now, not worrying about the sibling they don't have.

I have 3 but my smallest gap is 3.5yrs. Don’t even think about it for another year. Things might change, if not, one child is fine.

I felt the same and stopped at one because I knew I'd be a worse mum to two. It's such a personal feeling.

I'm really glad I stopped.

I know its probably not what you wanted to hear, but i leant into being the best mother I could be, not the mother I thought I would be. We're really happy.

If you got pregnant tomorrow you'd have a 19 month age gap which is very short. Most people have bigger age gaps for a reason. My husband though he wanted a couple of children, then when he had one he changed his mind and realised it was harder than he thought and he didn't think he couple cope with 2. Then when my first was 18 months and sleeping, going to nursery, starting to play a bit more nicely etc he changed his mind again and agreed to another.

You don't need to make any decisions now, or any time soon really. Most people couldn't imagine another baby when they're in the trenches with a 9 month old

I have 2 toddlers 18 months apart by the way - it's really hard!

We didn't really think about it when trying for our second, because we wanted to do like our siblings and have a close age gap. In hindsight we made our life very difficult, at least for the first few years.

I feel exactly like this. My daughter is almost an adult now and no regrets. I’m a terrible worrier and think any more children would have driven me to breaking point.

It's way too soon to know whether you'll want another child or not. A lot of siblings have 2-3 years or more between them.

My siblings have very big families and it seemed so easy looking at them from afar! The reality of living it day to day is very different, and that's ok if you feel 1 child is enough for you.

7 months is still a pretty hard age with sleep regression etc. raising children ebbs and flows in how hard/easy it is (or how easy you make it). You may well find by age 2 or 3 that you have changed your mind. Right now it’s too easy to say for definite whether you want to be “one and done”

I’d reframe the ‘good enough’ and ‘cut out for’ talk for starters. Not wanting more than one child has nothing to do with being ‘good enough’ for it. You don’t enjoy child rearing right now. 1) that’s ok and. 2) it may/may not change.

There’s too much guilt here – all coming from external expectations of what you ‘should’ do. You are the only one qualified to say what you ‘should’ do. A person should not be brought into this world due to societal pressure or to arbitrarily be a sibling provider.

We have the same age gap with our oldest two. Got through holidays by always bringing a friend or cousin the same age for my son. It worked really well. They had nothing in common at that age with 6.5 year gap.
Now 23 and 17 and get on grand.

Your baby is very young yet so naturally you are struggling to imagine another on top of it. You may change your mind once your baby gets older you might not.
Babies constantly need hands on care in a way older children don’t.

Just to say that my brother (4 years older) and I didn’t get on as kids but now we’re pretty close as adults, and I know many other people who were the same. No guarantees obviously but I wouldn’t assume they won’t be close as adults due to them not getting on at 5 and 11.

Agree with other people that you don’t have to decide now and your feelings may well change over the next few years (or not, and that’s fine also).

Are you struggling with anxiety generally? Your mention of not being ‘good enough’ made me wonder. Please do seek help if you’re struggling. x

There is nothing wrong with just having one child. I was an only and life was just fine as a child.

I now have 2 kids, ds11 and dd5, that constantly bicker, dont get on and just scream at each other 92% of their time together. Its miserable, ruins most day outs, holidays, its soul destroying. I've now gotten to the point of no matter where we are, if they bicker, we're all going home and that included a little pop in to aldi the other day! I've honestly had enough of them and their bickering.

And it makes me really sad that 1 day they will just go their separate ways and probably never speak again.

Im not saying this will be the same for you but its not all roses and you do not have to have another child if you dont want to.

There is nothing wrong with just having one child. I was an only and life was just fine as a child.

I now have 2 kids, ds11 and dd5, that constantly bicker, dont get on and just scream at each other 92% of their time together. Its miserable, ruins most day outs, holidays, its soul destroying. I've now gotten to the point of no matter where we are, if they bicker, we're all going home and that included a little pop in to aldi the other day! I've honestly had enough of them and their bickering.

And it makes me really sad that 1 day they will just go their separate ways and probably never speak again.

Im not saying this will be the same for you but its not all roses and you do not have to have another child if you dont want to.

I had one child by choice. He’s now a teenager and I have no regrets whatsoever.