To think £120 a week is not enough to live on?

I’d start a small emergency fund , and separate funds into specific accounts or pots ( my bank account has that facility without opening another account)
Kids grow so fast and need new shoes often in my experience.
Vinted can be good for kid clothes bundles .
And little kids are generally happy with very simple days out and small birthday gifts

we are well off. When the kids were that age they never had presents costing £100!! Perhaps a change in mindset would be helpful?

A lot of people have literally no spending money anymore

£480 a month?! I’d kill for that

Sorry to hear this, it's going to take a bit of adjustment for you, but bear in mind thats more than some folks have per week for bills food and everything else except the rent, so it IS doable

Does that have to cover clothes , shoes , haircuts , emergency expenses ( eg washing machine breakdown , car repairs, house repairs ) dental expenses etc or is it disposable income .
if it’s disposable income then I think that’s fine

Is your situation likely to change in the near future? I understand the desire to treat your children at Christmas, it's completely normal. Is there anyway to take on more hours at work in November/December?

You’ve welcome. Our backgrounds did teach us to be careful with money and although we‘ve never gone without, we really have seen the benefits. Mumsnet can be a vipers nest at times but you’ve acknowledged that you needed a reality check and there will be plenty of people with good advice if uou asked specific questions eg how to reduce food budget or how to make a more frugal Christmas fun. Just be mindful that there are plenty of people on here who would give anything to have your surplus each month, so word carefully. But I appreciate it must be difficult to adjust to a smaller income than you are used to, even tbpugh that is still a lot to some. Good luck!

That’s nearly £500 per month for nice things I’d say it’s enough but it’s all relative if things break etc

They weren’t irrelevant. She was explaining that she is in a good financial position now because she was frugal and sensible years ago. If she had decided that her DC needed the huge amounts spent on them that you seem to think is necessary, then she wouldn’t have been able to buy the property that she did, when she did.

Wow. I had little sympathy with you to begin with, but after this post, I have none.

Her point is that she managed to pay off her mortgage because she was frugal some years back and did not upgrade her property as so many people think is necessary. She was living in a two bed flat with three children. Many people on MN think a 4 bedroom house is a necessity with 3 DC, hence they are all still paying large mortgages.

It’s plenty. Budget and you’ll be doing nice things all year.

I am sorry for your change in circumstances, sounds like it came as a bit of a shock. However, and no apologies for being harsh here, if one good thing comes out of this situation, it will be readjusting your values. There are so many threads on here from people struggling to feed their kids let alone ‘only spend £100 on their birthday’ Your children don’t need to have all the latest tech, gadgets and expensive toys. At that age, especially at Christmaw, it will be volume and fun things which don’t have to be expensive. Requires more thought than just being able to buy whatever you want but can be done. A book each from the works, a jigsaw, a game. Clothes they are going to need anyway- just wrap them up. You don’t have to spend the same on both of them, so if you want something that costs more for one, you don’t have to match it for the other. They won’t know.
Does your older one still have any toys that would be suitable for the 2 year old? If so, suggest they pick out a few things and help you wrap them - a fun, free activity for them too. The younger one won’t know or care that they’re not new.
Agree re setting a budget for the additional outgoings and stick to it. A full on holiday might be an issue, but even a night away at the coast will seem like a holiday to them.
Look out for free activities on your local FB group for Halloween, Christmas etc.
Sell anything decent they’ve grown out of on Vinted, go through your own wardrobe and see if there‘s anything you’re happy to sell.

DH and I were comfortably off but grew up in relatively poor families. We had happy childhoods and remember birthdays and Christmases very fondly - even though we didn’t receive lots of presents. Holidays were a couple of nights in a B&B somewhere in the Uk. I appreciate it’s harder now as kids expect so much more and you will feel the pressure to provide, but adjusting expectations doesn’t have to make life miserable.

Oh, you're the sort of person who says "magical Christmas " with a straight face. Well, flog off some of your mirrored furniture, don't buy any new dining chairs with lions head door knockers on the back, and re-finance the white Rangey and get your new veneers done in 2027 instead of next year. Everything will be fine.

Surely that depends on the child? And their age. Its quite common in my family for children to ask for gift cards/money for a specific thing and save until they've got it. Obviously I'm talking children who are old enough to understand.

OP your kids are young enough to be happy with cheapy presents. Teens are much more expensive. Ditto days out and general entertainment. If you're on a tight budget spending a grand at Christmas is bonkers.

I would never expect a child to get present that covers more than one birthday or occasion, that’s very unfair, the most I would do is ask other relatives if the would like to contribute to such an expensive gift if i couldn’t do it myself and said child was really wanting the item. My parents and I did that for a niece once.

A switch console could be something that covers several birthdays or be a combined birthday/christmas present.

OK but the point is that your DS likes the bike. He'd also like it just as much if you had managed to get it secondhand for a bargain price