DH leaving us for one day on hol AIBU

I am not engaging with your ridiculousness anymore.

I know what you are, and now so does everyone else.

I haven't met that many Americans so maybe I haven't give the accent a fair chance! I suppose it varies a lot by region anyway.

Being comfortable with a partner doing their own thing for a day on holiday isn't misogyny 🤣

Misogynistic.

Personally I understand why you're annoyed OP. You've made plans, you've been looking forward to it, you've each had an expectation of the holiday set and you've invested family money into it.

I think it's fair enough that he wants to see his friend absolutely but in this scenario I'd have expected him to also factor you and dd into the equation and to say to his friend it would be great to meet but could you come to us or meet near us as I'll have op and dd together. Especially given Ls parter will be there so it's not a lads catch up with just the two of them.

I think he's seen it as an opportunity to essentially skive off the grunt work for the day (which leaves it on your plate) and he can go and have a blast with his mate. The telling bit about it is that he's essentially telling you this is what he's doing rather than having a chat to sound it out with you first and ask how you'd feel about holding Fort for a day. The way he's gone about that are shitty as opposed to the actual ask itself because its fair enough to want to meet up with someone who you won't see otherwise.

I think now your options really are:

-Rent something close to L for one of the nights and count it as one of your day trips.

• hold Fort at the hotel with dd and book yourself in for a spa day and a lie in the following day while he holds Fort
• you both travel together and back for the day with dd
• he reaches out to L and suggests they come to you or halfway.

If you've been under a lot of stress and stress exhausted you're probably operating from a place of being burnt out and the idea of a day's solo parenting in a different country with a small child is taking from an empty tank. But if you flip that, could you benefit from having the time to yourself the next day to recharge and properly rest? I never really WANT to be away from ds but then when I get that time I feel better in myself for it.

As you are well aware, I was quoting your reaction to the OP's words.

You are trying to avoid the fact that you are being misogynistic.

What is the word?

There are similarities between the two!

😄 I like a nice Irish accent myself!

Ignoring everything else, when you have just one week on an expensive holiday, taking off for the day alone is just rude. You're supposed to be on holiday together, and they are rare, precious days, meant to be spent as a family.

It's not about him not wanting to spend the time with his wife & child - it's about wanting to see a friend he doesn't get the opportunity to see usually.

looking after your OWN child for one day shouldn't cause this much drama.🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️

Those were OP's words, hence the quotation marks. Anyway, agree to disagree.

Has your DH thought it through? This is the sort of thing I would think if a fun, exciting idea not really taking into full consideration how far I need to travel!

Hahaha brokeback was immediately what came into my mind too. I obviously didn’t dare write it down because it felt inappropriate 🤣🫣🙈

"Why should I have to?" Jesus Christ. I enjoy spending time with my child. Especially on holiday.

No, it was you. Its all there in your own words. The implication is clear.

Oooh, I think they sound like cowboys. "fans herself" I find it a very warm, rich accent. The accent equivalent of polished mahogany. Not all thin and clipped and reedy like ours.

OP implied that, not me

(Im not the poster you quoted.) But frankly it wouldn't bother me if he wanted to spend a day of the holiday with a friend, scuba diving, cycling, playing golf, twiddling his thumbs. She's got 1 4 yo daughter, not half a dozen kids, to look after.

What they are doing is neither here nor there, and we all know that a pool day with a 4 year old is anything but relaxing.

You have said that in your opinion,him simply dropping everything is ok, but the OP being pissed off at being left to do it all alone is not, implying that she is a woman who doesnt enjoy time with her own child.

There is a word for that.

Then I am sure the dh has offered to reciprocate when he had the discussion about his long distance trip and didn’t just present it as a done deal.

Can't say American accents do much for me but each to their own!

Okay sorry my bad i mis read and thought he was going for one day out as well! Didn't appreciate the 10 hours!

Eh? Who would the PP be doing a pick-me dance for? Being a pick-me is when you turn yourself inside out wanting some bloke to choose you.

Seems like a plan, OP. Otherwise, a 10-hour trip for your DH to spend a couple of hours with a mate strikes me as madness. The journey would be not far off from driving from Malaga to Madrid and back in a day, which I think many people would regard as an extremely taxing day trip!

Best of luck in finding a compromise along the lines you mention.

The terrible back breaking load of a pool day? Sounds horrific.