DH leaving us for one day on hol AIBU

Did you miss the 10 hours of travel?

Just pop along with him to meet L and partner.

Or.

Invite them over? Not a big deal.

Doesn't have to be all or nothing.

Why can’t the friend meet your DH halfway? Why does your DH have to do all the travelling? If your DH is meeting his friend and their partner, why are you not invited?

I would be insisting on a meeting halfway with myself and DC attending too. If DH’s friend says it’s too far to travel then he’s not that much of a good friend expecting your DH to do all the work.

I would be livid too, a ten hour round trip is a return flight so the friend could visit your DH at home anytime.

The amount of travelling is bonkers but the fact of it wouldn’t bother me really. I feel like there are bigger issues that you’re annoyed about.

It’s only a day.

10 hours of travel time in a day is ridiculous tbh. That’s not close enough to warrant a visit on holiday and your DH will be knackered and next day will be a write off too. I agree that this effort for a travel acquaintance is excessive - an old friend or good friend, possibly. A week is not a lot of time for a family holiday and 1-2 days to see an acquaintance on his own leaves only 4-5 days of actual holiday - I don’t even count the arrival and departure days as full holiday days as they’re stressful. So you’re left with 3 full days together of holiday as a family?! No, my DH nor I would consider it as family holidays are for us to connect away from the grind not a chance to catch up with acquaintances. Might as well catch up on meetings at the same time if it’s being treated as a regular week at home!

Whereas I can think of a few people I would do that. In fact have done that for.

It doesn’t make sense to drag your little one on such a long journey. But it also doesn’t make sense for your DH to miss out on this opportunity. I’d start looking for something to do which will help entertain your little one for the day. Start another thread in Travel asking ‘things to make it easier to entertain a 4 year for a day in (wherever you’re going) .
Then make sure you get an equal amount of time back for yourself over the remainder of the holiday.

10 hours of travelling. Is that driving 5 hours each way, public rapport?

Because a 5 hour drive ain’t “in the region” imo (I do that Portsmouth to Sheffield and call it a long drive across the country!).

However despite that I wouldn’t stop him from seeing a friend he won’t see for a long time providing it is just a day.

Why not offer a compromise instead? Meet halfway together and find something there that will be interesting for a a 4yo.

I think him (either of you) having one day of the holiday to do something alone is fine, but 10 hours travelling in one day to spend a few hours with someone? I can't think of anyone I'd do that for, which would be raising some questions for me.

Is the friend not even going half way?

I agree with you, actually, I’d be a bit pissed off too. A week’s holiday is only six full days usually, and with such a long journey for your husband to meet his friend he’ll probably be quite tired the next day, too. You obviously can’t stop him, but I think your feelings of annoyance are valid.

I must have had lazy kids haha, mine loved an afternoon kip

It's one day, get some time to yourself to relax and chill the following day

I can understand why you'd want him to stay, but since this is a friend who lives far away and who he rarely gets to see, I think it is unreasonable to insist he doesn't go. If it was a friend he could see any time, it would be different, but he might not get the chance to see this guy for another couple of years.

I think you should tell him it's okay for him to go.

Given the 10 hours travel I think how you and your husband view this person is very different. To you he may be a casual acquaintance but to your husband he is an important friend.

If you think he would do the same for you under the came circumstances, while I wouldn't be over the moon about it, I wouldn't stop him going, as it's a friend he doesn't get to see very often.

But I would definitely expect some time to myself on another day. It doesn't have to be for long, but a few hours of reading my book by the pool would be lovely.

OP you sound very sulky about this. Just because you don't want to see L why should your DH miss out? It's only one day.

Are there really 4 yos who will get tire enough to sleep in the afternoon on holiday? Mine wouldn’t have for sure.

If it's 10 hours travelling is he then going to be shattered the next day too?
10 hours isn't close by! Could you dh fly home a day later? Or could they come nearer to you, somewhere you'd like to go anyway a historical site etc you can then spend the time with them but not lose a day . Less travel and I'd be a lot more amenable but 10 hrs in a day you could fly n to the US in that time

I think that it's inconsiderate of him to suggest this. It's a holiday that you badly need and have been looking forward to. I don't think it's an unreasonable desire to hope that your husband is looking forward to the holiday with you and couldn't imagine being away from you for this period.

Surely he can jump on a plane an visit with the American some other time?

That’s a ridiculous amount of time to travel to meet up with what sounds like a fairly casual friend.

If your DH is likely to sulk or be stroppy if he doesn’t go then probably best he does but absolutely it’s him who is BU.