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Original poster

Hen party - was this comment a bit shitty?

258 replies

Hulling91 · 30/09/2025 19:02

I’m in a WhatsApp group for my friends hen - I’m not organising it but I’m close friends with the girl who is.

She put a perfectly polite message in the chat on Saturday to ask for people’s instagram user names, as she’d tag any photos etc.

One of the attendees didn’t reply, so she chased her earlier. The reply back was ‘Sorry, but given I’m 33 with two kids and a full time job, I don’t use Instagram and prefer to update those close to me personally about things’.

Just feels a bit…awkward? She only knows the hen and not the rest of the group going.

OP posts:
Slothey · 30/09/2025 21:34

She shouldn’t have been rude, but also your friend shouldn’t have been chasing something so unnecessary. If the other hen had been keen to be tagged, she would have provided it.

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 30/09/2025 21:31

Chasing up is rude. No reply was the answer. Having to give your Instagram details for tagging on a hen do - what fresh hell is this. I have Instagram, but wouldn’t want to be being tagged by someone I hardly know. My profile is private anyway.

janehopper · 30/09/2025 21:19

It's the assumption that everyone is on Instagram to the point of chasing someone who hasn't replied which is annoying, if someone doesn't reply you just assume they're not on there or don't want you to know. Chasing seems a bit pushy. Saying that, the reply was a bit rude.

Barrenfieldoffucks · 30/09/2025 21:12

The “given I am” is the shitty bit, presumably many of the others are too…so this is a verbal eye roll.

Frankenpug23 · 30/09/2025 21:12

Not rude at all just feeds into this ‘every thing has to be perfect’ on instagram crap. I don’t use instagram and I don’t want any pictures of me on social media - thanks. But my friends all live in the real world and don’t make social media nonsense a condition of our friendship.

buymeflowers · 30/09/2025 21:11

It is a bit ott to chase account names.

Her reply was really rude and I wouldn’t want to spend any time with her tbh. ‘I don’t use Instagram’ would have been just fine.

Badhostess · 30/09/2025 21:07

Really bitchy and unnecessary! Also I don’t think the MOH did anything wrong by chasing… I think it’s rude not to reply when someone is organising something, she’s not a mind reader !!

I honestly cringe so much at people who are deliberately arsey for the most minor things.

Charredtea · 30/09/2025 21:04

What form did the ‘chasing’ take?
The full facts help to inform the response here but I don’t think she needed to add her age.

MummBRaaarrrTheEverLeaking · 30/09/2025 21:04

Unnecessarily arsey. Considering she only knows the hen and no one else, she's not endeared herself to the group there has she!

Everyonceinawhile · 30/09/2025 21:03

ThejoyofNC · 30/09/2025 19:08

It was unnecessarily bitchy.

Agree, kind of like ‘I’m superior to ye silly young things who spend all day on instagram uploading silly photos’…..she could have just said.’ Sorry, don’t have an Instagram account’ …..

ClaredeBear · 30/09/2025 21:01

Yes, she clearly wanted to feel superior. She could have just said she’s not on Insta.

Blondeshavemorefun · 30/09/2025 21:00

They can’t be that close friends if she had to ask then their ig names

I thought hen events were the closest nearest and dearest friends of the hen …..

Shr3dding · 30/09/2025 20:58

PattySpringsteensHorse · 30/09/2025 19:06

I don’t think it was shitty tbh. I don’t use FB/Insta either, all she was doing was giving a reason for not using it, I wouldn’t want photos of me put on other peoples social media.

But then all you'd say was I don't have an Instagram account, surely you wouldn't be arsey about it would you?

MrsToothyBitch · 30/09/2025 20:58

Reasonable reason but bitchy reply.

I'd just say I am uncomfortable being tagged on social media so I'm not giving over my handles. I'd appreciate no one else giving my details over, either.

PrimeTimeNow · 30/09/2025 20:50

Rude and patronising.

She could have just said ‘Sorry, I don’t have instagram’.

Frostynoman · 30/09/2025 20:48

Is the WhatsApp group getting a bit full on / OTT / giggly / needy? Moh shouldn’t have chased - she just got a firm boundary back

pizzaHeart · 30/09/2025 20:45

LimeBasilandManderin · 30/09/2025 19:08

She could’ve just said I don’t use Instagram and left it at that rather than being over dramatic

This ^
I’m older than her with one child and don’t use instagram either, it’s not about age or amount of children.
And as I’m busy enough I do forget things sometimes so when someone chases something from me I’m grateful.

TheFormidableMrsC · 30/09/2025 20:44

I wouldn’t have been so P/A but neither would I want to give out my Insta to all and sundry and I certainly don’t want to be tagged in things. I think that is a weird and intrusive request.

NoSoupForU · 30/09/2025 20:40

I think your friend was in the wrong when she chose to chase this woman for instagram shite, like it's actually something important. Honestly I can't bear people like your friend and would absolutely be eye rolling so hard I could trigger a fit. All the staged social media bollocks really gets on my nerves.

whynotwhatknot · 30/09/2025 20:39

no need for the comment just say i dont use it

MrsKateColumbo · 30/09/2025 20:39

Unnecessarily bitchy

I had the reverse where there were 4 he said, the MOH said she would put it all in an Apple photos album. I told her I have android only, everyone else (who were all friends vs me being a friend from somewhere else) agreed apple was fine and nobody sent me any pics!!

HuskyNew · 30/09/2025 20:37

BlouseyBrowne · 30/09/2025 19:09

She could’ve just said ‘I’m not on Instagram’.

I’d guess she’s eye rolling from afar at potential OTT hen-do nonsense.

This.

it’s ok to ask once. It’s not ok to chase it up.

id be eye rolling and wondering what id got myself into for the weekend

PumpkinSeasonOctober · 30/09/2025 20:34

Seems a bit holler than you doesn’t it. 33 working with kids doesn’t mean you can’t have SM.

SaratogaFilly · 30/09/2025 20:33

LimeBasilandManderin · 30/09/2025 19:08

She could’ve just said I don’t use Instagram and left it at that rather than being over dramatic

This. Unnecessarily bitchy but I’d just ignore!

Catwoman8 · 30/09/2025 20:32

What has her having a full time job got to do with anything? All she needed to say was I don't use instagram and that would have been fine.