Hen party - was this comment a bit shitty?

Totally agree with this. I do have Instagram but don’t use it so I really wouldn’t want anyone else tagging me.

It was a rude and snotty reply however

Chasing for insta info would definitely warrant that response.

It was a little bit bitchy, but thats what you get when you try and force someone to hand over something they don't want to. There was no need to go chasing after someone's social media handle, if they wanted to supply it, then they'd have done it after the first request.

Hmm, some of my daughters friends say things like this - I bet She’s not not on insta because she’s to mature/a mum and better than all that vacuous SM nonsense- she’s probably just worried about being tagged in photos she’s not vetoed, potentially showing her looking shite, on the periphery and not in her best light!

Absolutely no need to call someone a twat online frankly. It sounds like a petty disagreement which you need to forget about. I think your language speaks volumes.

I don’t think it’s shitty - it’s weird to chase someone’s social media handle. She should have left it instead of asking again, as if the other person needed to hand over their handle! I would take it as a hint - if that person didn’t share it with me, they don’t want to add me.

That person only went into depth about the reasons they don’t use social media, as to not cause offence to the pushy one?

I had similar with a friend of a friend at the mutual friend’s wedding. I didn’t add her on instagram and told her I didn’t really use it and I am more active on TikTok. I’m in my 20s, she’s in her 30s. She got pissy when she found out I had a dormant account a year later, and asked why I didn’t want to add her and said she was offended etc even though I explained before. bunch of drama over nothing!

They were equally rude (the chaser and the responser).

again, OP clearly specified that they aren't really good friends, they don't even know each other. They just both know the bride. Think about it logically, if they were really good friends surely they'd already have each other on social media or know they didn't use it?

not to mention given half the people on here are suggesting sending 1 reminder message is OTT, actually CALLING her would give them a fit of the vapours.

Of course it's 'perfectly acceptable' to not use instagram - not even sure why you need to specify that because literally nobody, not the Hen, not the organiser, not OP and nobody on this thread has said otherwise! But she should have just said that, no need to be a twat about it.

Why wouldn't it be true?

If they were really good friends then surely she could have just called her? It's perfectly acceptable to NOT want to share your life on social media and quite frankly I applaud this woman for protecting herself and not feeling the need to share everything online

A WhatsApp group for planning the hen do? Chances are everyone in there is being unreasonable 😂

Ridiculous to “chase” someone for their insta handle. If they haven’t shared, it was probably intentional.

Incredibly rude way for her to say “I don’t use Instagram”.

The organizer shouldn't have started from the default position that everyone has an instagram.

I’d reply “a simple I’m not on Instagram would have been enough 😂😂😂”

It sounds like she’s going to be fun on the hen do! I don’t use instagram but I’m not a judgy dick about it!

Seems a bit rude to me!

Mentioning her age, that she is a parent and works sounds pretty arsey. It also sounds like she is judging anyone else who is similar but goes on social media. "Sorry, I don't use it," would have been fine.

Sounds like she got her point across, good for her!

If she didn’t answer, she clearly didn’t want to share her social media. She shouldn’t have been double asked and it should have been left.

I personally wouldn’t want to be tagged in anything on my social media accounts as I will choose myself what I do and don’t want to appear on there.

Fine not to be on Instagram. Fine to say ‘Sorry, I’m not Instagram’ or ‘I’ll have to sit this one out, I don’t have social media.’

Not fine to make a sneery, pass-agg remark to imply the reason you don’t have Instagram is that you are much busier and more important and more grown-up than anyone who does. That’s the shitty element. She really didn’t need to say ‘Given that I’m 33 with kids and a full-time job…’ as if everyone who has social media must be a child with time on their hands. It’s very obvious that she’s sneering.

So embarrassing to want to pre-plan social media posts for a personal event ... I mean what even is the point of living? Honestly makes me despair.

Read the post. OP literally said she IS a close friend of the hen, just doesn't know the organiser.

Most people don't have just one group of friends they've known since primary school. Every hen do I've ever been on has been a complete mishmash of school/uni mates, sisters/cousins/mum, colleagues, other randoms, many of whom have never met before....just because they are close to the bride doesn't mean they all know each other.

She wasn’t chasing for payment or anything important. She wanted people’s instagram names! Ridiculous and unimportant. It’s clear that if someone doesn’t reply then they don’t want to be tagged. I would have been annoyed to be chased over something so unimportant too.

I do think it was a rude response however I don’t see the need to get people’s IGs when you’re already in a WhatsApp group. Upload them there and just do an IG of yourself/your friends with the bride.

I agree. There was no need to be arsey

you "can't bear" someone who is spending her own time and effort to organise a nice hen for a mate?

I don't get why people are acting as if by 'chasing' the friend was literally legging down the road after her or sending her constant naggy messages rather than sending ONE polite reminder. Lots of INCREDIBLY BUSY people with 2 KIDS and FULL TIME JOBS miss messages (particularly in large whatsapp groups which can have 1000s of messages), and would appreciate a reminder. If she'd replied initially saying 'I don't use insta,' instead of being rude and completely ignoring the message she wouldn't have been "chased."

Guarantee she's exactly the sort of person who if she had been missed out of something because she hadn't replied she'd be moaning about that too.

I also don't use SM, I don't feel the need to make it a defining part of my personality.

Asking for the Instagram username wasn’t shitty. Chasing her for it for everyone to see was, her silence was her answer. These groups chats can be a bit much when you’re busy etc. just forget it and move on.