Hen party - was this comment a bit shitty?

Over the top hen dos is not beneath anyone . It’s totally upto the hen what type of hen do she wants . The problem is , unfortunately you want to go , sign up to go and then the pressure, the lists of outfits you need , the money that’s expected to fork out, the timetable you have to stick to is just litterallly over the top and all for the sake of some fake, false, fakery fun , insta photos . No thanks . I’d rather it was just real , fun, a great laugh and down to earth . Crack on

This

Absolutely she was right. Why on earth would anyone want to be tagged in these photos. Assuming alcohol is involved or some very unflattering photos, it would have irritated me too to be asked for my personal account. It wasn’t rude, it was telling someone who clearly couldn’t think a bit deeper to think using her brains.

I may have missed this detail, but I think it depends on the wording of the original message as to whether or not it was rude not to respond.

E.g. if it’s worded as ‘If you’re on IG and want to be tagged in photos, then send me your handle’, then that is only asking for a response from people who meet both those criteria.

If it was more like: ‘Can everyone please reply to let me know whether or not they’re happy for pictures of them to go onto Instagram and, if so, whether they want to be tagged and what their IG handle is?’ then it could be seen as rude not to reply. But she could also just have been busy and/or forgotten and it’s not like it’s something really significant.

I know it can be annoying as an organiser to have lots to do though and that things that seem important to the organiser don’t always register in the same way with others not at the centre of it. If not being tagged is something that people get upset by, I wouldn’t be worried if someone hadn’t replied with the info to allow me to tag them, as that’s on them.

Hopefully she'll pull out if she considers it all beneath her. It's better for everyone not to have a grouch with a superiority complex at the hen.

She comes across as a bit of a knob, her age and parent status are totally irrelevant. Why not just say "I don't use instagram".

sounds like another over the top hen do that she is already fed up with . Yes , her response was abit rude but I bet she’s been told already what she has to wear , timetables of what she has to do and smile for the cameras . SoDraining.com

Unnecessarily judgy of her - if I was in a group chat, only knew the bride and was going to have to hang out with everyone else, I'd just say, 'I'm not on Instagram'.

She may well be judging everyone in the group, thinking they're immature or whatever, but I'd be judging her back. It's a bit stuck up.

I say this as someone who is 46 and isn't on Instagram. I don't think I'm better than anyone else for it, though. (TikTok takes up too much of my time).

What? Surely the bride is the one who gets to decide who's invited or involved in her hen do? What with it being about her and all that? Are you so dense that you can't just avoid someone you aren't keen on? And you're calling someone else catty and a bitch?

“I don’t have an Instagram account” is even more factual.

It is quite a judgemental and superior post. It would have been politer to have just said that she wasn’t on instagram rather than suggesting it was beneath her with her busy and mature lifestyle. I’m sure she will be a right laugh on the hen do!

Miaauuuuu, methinks the lady does protest too much...
I am 51, have a full time job, kid a husband and horror! an instagram account. Set to private but I do use it. Weird woman. She's problably one of those who likes to feel superior because they don't do this or don't go there. Ignore. I wouldn't stretch myself to get to know her at the hen either.

bet she's a pain in the arse on the day.

Silly cow, unnecessarily rude comment, could have just said she's not on insta.
But she wanted to emphasise how very very busy she is ..... obv far more than anyone else in the group.

The organiser shouldn’t have chased again. It’s really not a big deal.
she gave her reasons why she isn’t on IG. If she’d said she doesn’t have an account would she have been asked to make one?

She won't be tagged though, will she?

I share her view about IG and I would not touch that shitty brainless app with a barge pole. But she clearly uses a entitled stiff upper lip tone projecting she is a superior being for not doing something that everybody else does in the group .
I would be in the lookout with this one, OP. She seems to be a shit stirrer. Maybe the rest of the group so kick the bitch out the group and get on with the hen on your own. It's better to nip these kind of things in the bud before they escalate and some tension builds up potentially kicking off during the hen itself.

She only needed to say she didn't use Instagram. Not all the "I'm far too busy and important and mature to use Instagram" bollocks. Hope she doesn't spoil the hen and wedding by snarking at the bride. I'm imagining her with an angry look on her face in the photos.

I dare say she was irritated about being chased for it. And personally I wouldn’t call the info ‘superior’, just a bit irritatedly factual.

Her reply could have been nicer but it does my head in to find I’ve been tagged in loads of photos and videos after a night out. Has the whole thing been organised around how it looks on IG? From experience organising an aesthetically pleasing hen do ends up costing everyone more

I mean there is the point that people treat you like an alien if you don’t use instagram (don’t get me started on how fucking weird people are when you don’t drink)

So why wouldn’t “I don’t use Instagram” be enough to make this point? Why the superior gumpf about her children and job?

Of course it was shitty and 'oh look at me, a superior being'
It's like when you ak about childcare.
Answer: we don't use any - fine.
Answer: well some of us prefer to raise our own children and not to farm them out, so we don't use any - a bit different, no?

I mean, she’s not wrong but there are ways of saying it which are less offensive.

'telling the truth' here would be a simple matter of saying, 'I'm not on Instagram,' not taking the opportunity to snit at others who are.
And if a message arrives when you don't feel in a good frame of mind to answer it, you don't have to. As an adult she should be capable of thinking, 'I'll leave that til I don't feel quite so annoyed by it.'