Hen party - was this comment a bit shitty?

At the risk of sounding like a stereotypical "youth of today" miserable old lady (I'm only 38!) it astounds me what people consider not rude these days.

The "say what you want, do what you want, always be yourself, you do you, it's THEIR problem" narrative that's being spread everywhere you look is cuasing a very insular and unhappy society.

Of course you should think of others before you speak, if you still want others to be around you.

Of course, if you don't, you could always bugger off off of the WhatsApp groups and don't come to the hen do, but you can't have it both ways. You can't expect to treat people shittily and still have friends

Would I have said it like that - probably not , but yes I agree with the sentiment and hence I don’t think the person sending it should have chased

The comments saying it’s not rude baffle me! It’s clearly rude and a dig.

Yeah it was weird. It comes across as a dig at people who use Instagram (I don't) as though they're immature and have too much time on their hands.
I don't understand why sje couldn't have just said "I don't use instagram".

Assuming everyone has Instagram was a bit weird too, but definitely didn't warrant a rude response like this one.

Perfectly reasonable, believable reply.

It’s just a reference often used for children to let them know if they should say something or not.

I have no objection with mild swearing. Name calling, however, is rude but so is your entire message so it isn't that surprising.

She's probably just a bit frazzled in her day-to-day life and doesn't have the bandwidth for social media, but she could have conveyed this more politely imho. 'I'm 33' feels a bit unnecessary, like she thinks SM is childish or something.

She doesn’t need to “explain” that she has children and a job (and is therefore FAR too important and busy for Instagram). She can just say she doesn’t have it.

your reading comprehension really is non-existent, isn't it?
Try again. I used third person singular "SHE should have," i.e. calling her a twat. Not you.

My language 😂. Really scraping the barrel of disapproval there. Heaven forfend a woman uses a mild swear word in 2025. MN allows swearing, not if you don't like it then don't use the site.

‘Immature dickhead’ is what I’d think

Most of the hen party will thinks she's not that friendly so I can't see her having much fun.

Very curt but I'd find the request super naff and might also be a bit snippy.

May she had enough of hearing about ig fb or any other posting site.
It seems like thats all people want to do is post there lifes.

You don't see anything wrong with the "I'm 33 with two kids a job" bit? As if this was either unusual or would be a reason to assume she wasn't on instagram. I don't do any social media but I am capable of saying that without including a load of weirdly irrelevant facts about myself.

I also think the person asking sounds like a tit as well, just for balance.

Odd/interesting that the voting doesn't match the comments. 70% think the OP is unreasonable - but the majority of replies go the other way. I think there's more to that than just disapproval of the chasing up weighting the vote. One could write a thesis.

Well no. 'Everyone' doesn't know this, since roughly half the thread disagree that the guest was rude.

I don’t see anything wrong with this message, a presumption was made that everyone has Insta & would like to be tagged, & she was explaining that she doesn’t

Perfectly ok to double check/chase. Not unusual for someone to forget to reply etc.

Her reply was really rude and if I was in the group I'd be writing her off as a bit of a silly knobhead.

Chasing should not have occurred but a simple - I'm not on Instagram and I don't wish to be tagged, sorry. would have been sufficient.
She'll be fine on the hens. Expect no worries.

Both the chaser and the self important replier are awful.

Of course it’s a rude response from the guest. Everyone knows this 😂

I don’t use Instagram either but I wouldn’t be snide about it!

YABU. The person's reply was a bit curt, but clearly someone has gone out of their way to pursue her to ask for her insta account, which is so immature and childish it probably annoyed her. I wouldn't have replied with mine either. The person trying to get this info should have the nous to recognise that if you've asked for someone's info and they haven't given it and it isn't necessary, you drop it, you don't chase them down and keep pushing. How embarrassing.

Couldn't she have used her brains and found a way to respond that doesn't include utterly irrelevant information though? Plenty of mothers and 30somethings on instagram. She may as well have included how many jars of pesto she has purchased this year for all the value it adds to her response.

No idea why she chased her for it. She should have accepted that whoever responded had Instagram and was happy to be tagged, whoever didn’t either doesn’t use it or doesn’t want to be tagged. Simple. I’d have been annoyed about being chased too.