To ask DH to tell FIL to stop using our loo if he can’t clean up after himself?

I have an Edwardian style basin in my downstairs loo which is quite large and deep but it is still very difficult to wash and dry your hands without getting a few drops of water on the tiles.

You have a downstairs loo that isn't for guests? How weird!

And you wouldn't "let him loose" in there?

Wow. Your contempt for your FIL is really cruel, and sad. You're not even talking about him like he's a person.

Tell your husband that he needs to clean the toilet after his dad has been in there.

Sorry, when she said it stank and there was a mess I imagined skidders etc.

But if I was bothered by the mess they left and wanted it to be cleaned up I would say that.

😂😂😂

That's nothing. Big Hazelnut limits the supply. I can't find them anywhere these days.

‘The other bathroom isn’t for guests’

Is the actual toilet left dirty or are you on about a bit of water splashed on the floor and the soap in the wrong place?

If the former, absolutely you're not unreasonable. But if its the latter you're massively overreacting and out of order.

What are to feeding your poor FIL that he stinks up the loo?

I feel sorry for your FIL.

He's family. You can't treat him like this. Just close the door and wait until the smell is gone. As for a few drops of water and the soap, really, so what?

As for larger people's poo smelling more, I've been all weights from 108lbs to 256 lbs, and there is no difference. That's purely your prejudice for larger people showing.

I never understand it when people say they don't poo at other people's houses. If you need to go, aren't you extremely uncomfortable until you can? Just shut the door after yourself, or take a small can of spray in your bag.

So the loo which the OP prefers her guests to use has no window - so it cannot easily be ventilated.

"Part F Building Regulations demand that all UK bathrooms have adequate ventilation. While a window is not legally necessary, a compliant ventilation system is."

If you have caused an unventilated toilet to be built or you have inherited an unventilated toilet, why can't you have a ventilator installed if there is an outside wall?

I once rented a flat where the bathroom/toilet had no window. When you put the light on, an extractor fan came on.

Install an extractor fan.
Have a liquid hand wash container fixed on the wall or tiles above the hand basin.
Move your towel rail closer to the sink.
Chill.

I would not want to spray air freshener in a room with no ventilation.

Well I've just googled the match theory, and I was wrong. The trick is that the match produces a smell of sulphur dioxide, which is generally stronger than even the most noxious FiL emissions. So our noses smell that instead!

Yes. The downstairs is next to the kitchen. I offer my ensuite, they decline.

One admits to having an arse like a drain.
I admit to my loo phobia. I absolutely hate people in my loos. Stems from childhood when the door was flung open by older siblings.
I had two parents to nurse one with bowel cancer, that made it worse.

I do appreciate the ops fil washes his hands, some don't!

Give over op.
Size has absolutely no relation to the smell.
The contents of a persons diet certainly do. Those that have had alcohol the night before absolutely stink when they go in work. One guy is so bad the stench comes back with him clinging on his clothes after he’s been. His diet is appalling, judging by his meal deal plus cakes and sweets each day, he stinks revolting, and that’s after spraying!

Amazing 😂 Of course, methane doesn't actually smell at all. It's all the other stuff that smells, which is why what you eat affects the smell of your farts.

Maybe, given how uptight OP is that there's no window in this bathroom, the answer would be a scented candle. Marginally less grim than air freshener, and the added bonus of FIRE 🔥 😎

Is there an extractor fan?

I think you have it in for your FIL. I was expecting to read about piss all over the floor. However, it seems to be water from washing his hands, soap in the wrong place and the natural smell of poo in a toilet.
I never realised air fresheners were a thing all the time in a toilet. My poor guests. Just open a window. I thought we were meant to using less chemicals.

Your poor father in law ..

DH knows this greatly annoys me but won’t say anything - ‘oh, he’s stuck in his ways’ or ‘it’s only once a month’.

If it’s only once a month then I’m sure your DH won’t mind going in and having a quick tidy round

YABVU. I thought this was going to be pee all over the floor, and a filthy toilet.

The man creates stinky poos. He does them in the toilet. If it's an issue, send him to a toilet with a window and ask him to open / leave it open.

He also washes his hands (hurrah), moves the soap (definitely washing his hands double hurrah) ...

Febreze in the pump spray. You only need a couple of spritzes - come out of the bathroom, spritz and close the door.

Scented candle
Sensor air mister

Don't humiliate your fil

Hope you don't have small boys as they are nightmare to keep toilets tidy, literally years of training

My first FIL used to retire to the bog for half an hour every morning with the newspaper and his pipe!!! When he visited ours, I always opened the toilet window and left a solid aur freshener in there, but he still stunk the house out. 🤢

I think you're pulling our leg op

I would open the window/put the extractor fan on before he arrives. The rest is just normal wear and tear IMO.