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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask DH to tell FIL to stop using our loo if he can’t clean up after himself?

266 replies

Septemberending · 30/09/2025 17:01

We host my in-laws at least once a month for Sunday lunch and they pop round at various other points in the month.

Almost without fail, FIL will use the loo and it will be left in a disgusting state after - stinking as he hasn’t sprayed, water over the floor from where he hasn’t dried his hands properly and items such as the soap put back in the wrong place.

DH knows this greatly annoys me but won’t say anything - ‘oh, he’s stuck in his ways’ or ‘it’s only once a month’.

I’ve had enough quite frankly, and feel like it’s getting to ultimatum time.

OP posts:
Stompythedinosaur · 30/09/2025 19:01

I thought from your title he was shitting all over the place! A few drips from wet hands and soap in the wrong place is nothing to rock the boat over. I think you're being dramatic.

JudgeJ · 30/09/2025 18:59

Princesspollyyy · 30/09/2025 17:06

Sounds like my parents. It took them ages to realise what air freshener was used for, in a bathroom. Must be a generational thing.

Surprisingly lovey, air freshener isn't all that new so it's not an age problem, just the usual MN acceptable ageism.

Hally270 · 30/09/2025 18:57

I thought he was leaving giant turds in the toilet.

You sound a bit unhinged to me OP. I'm sure you DH will move the soap for you if you can't cope with it.

Original poster
Septemberending · 30/09/2025 18:57

Catpiece · 30/09/2025 18:55

You don’t like him much do you?

As FIL’s go I think he’s a decent one, compared to the many in-law horror stories you read on here.

Toilet hygiene and stuffing his face aside!

OP posts:
listmaker1981 · 30/09/2025 18:56

This post has got to be a piss take? Surely no one is this petty and upright??

We pay a "little extra" for room spray 🤣🤣

Catpiece · 30/09/2025 18:55

You don’t like him much do you?

ChristmasMiracleBaby · 30/09/2025 18:55

None of the things you listed are unreasonable.. Water splashes, misplaced soap and poop smell, in a bathroom fgs.
Maybe he has asthma or allergies and can't tolerate aerosol well.. A bit grim but it's once a month.
Just admit you don't like other people using your bathroom.

Sashya · 30/09/2025 18:53

OP - the main issue I presume is smell? So why not send DH in to spray after FIL uses the toilet. Problem solved.

statetrooperstacey · 30/09/2025 18:53

The problem with air freshener is if you use it it’s really noisy! So you’re basically announcing to the house you’ve just had a shit. I second matches, you can get pretty ones for bathrooms. I think a window works best but you haven’t got one so no joy there .
nakso think you’re being a bit harsh on your FIL tbh. Not everybody has a post code bum.

hyggetyggedotorg · 30/09/2025 18:52

So if FIL needs the toilet while visiting where would you prefer him to shit?

In the front garden like a dog?

You are being absolutely pathetic.

YellowSubmarine994 · 30/09/2025 18:50

I think you're being unreasonable to be honest. I was expecting an awful lot worse (wee on the floor, poo on the taps or something). We can't really complain about a bit of splashed water and a soap container moving a few inches. God, your poor in-laws!

grumpygrape · 30/09/2025 18:49

Oh, goody goody, a new poo thread. Haven’t had one for a while.

Big blokes’ poo smells worse than smaller blokes ? Really ?

I’m in the ‘strike a light’ match team, much more effective than ghastly ‘air fresheners’ no matter their cost.

DaisyChain505 · 30/09/2025 18:48

You bed to tell your husband that either he goes into the bathroom straight after his dad and cleans up the mess or he has a conversation with him about it.

Either way he should be the one dealing with this.

Not you.

Catpiece · 30/09/2025 18:46

Could you maybe draw a cross on the sink so he knows the exact spot where the bottle of soap should be returned to? Might help?

Waitfortheguinness · 30/09/2025 18:46

Princesspollyyy · 30/09/2025 17:06

Sounds like my parents. It took them ages to realise what air freshener was used for, in a bathroom. Must be a generational thing.

🙄

thereneverwasacloudyday · 30/09/2025 18:44

Simple: DH talks to his dad OR DH immediately follows him into the loo and sorts out the mess.

You're not the maid.

TorroFerney · 30/09/2025 18:44

QueenClinomania · 30/09/2025 18:37

Tell your husband to clean it up.

there isn't anything to clean up though, some water which will dry and then moving the soap.

Anyahyacinth · 30/09/2025 18:44

MrsTerryPratchett · 30/09/2025 17:07

Oh and some of us HATE air freshener. It reeks and gives people a headache.

Plus tons of other longer term serious health side effects….heart health and lungs, hormones and reproduction…all just to add another layer to a poo smell. 🤦‍♀️

GingerPaste · 30/09/2025 18:43

Some right Hyacinth Buckets on here. Ooooh, he’s put the soap back in the wrong place…

What a total over-reaction.

TorroFerney · 30/09/2025 18:43

Coconutter24 · 30/09/2025 17:48

DH knows this greatly annoys me but won’t say anything - ‘oh, he’s stuck in his ways’ or ‘it’s only once a month’.

If it’s only once a month then I’m sure your DH won’t mind going in and having a quick tidy round

Agree - but what ways is he stuck in? Ways where he has bowels that work and doesn't bugger them up by holding it in. There's a reason why there is that advert on TV celebrating the worker and the kids not being ashamed of going to the loo. Let's hope he or your MIL never become incontinent.

Ebsalami · 30/09/2025 18:43

YABVU. I thought you were going to say he always left shit all over the seat or something like that.

Getting so worked up about water drips on the floor and soap put back in the wrong place is absolutely ridiculous. Don’t you have anything else to worry about?

Just ask him to spray the air freshener when he’s finished. Or put a sign on the inside of the loo door saying that, when you know he's going to visit. Or get your DH to ask him to do it. The other things are far too petty to even mention.

Rachie1973 · 30/09/2025 18:42

LemondrizzleShark · 30/09/2025 17:15

This. I was expecting you to say he was pissing on the floor or leaving shit splatter under the seat. Not failing to replace the soap correctly.

Show quote history

Quite! Such a major over reaction from Op.

QueenClinomania · 30/09/2025 18:37

Tell your husband to clean it up.

ChangingWeight · 30/09/2025 18:33

I’m not defending him but not everyone sprays after a poo, so like if he isn’t used to it I wouldn’t expect him to suddenly do it at yours. I don’t expect my guests to spray (although I’d prefer if they did or if they didn’t do a poo at all lol)

Im thinking you might be better off keeping the window open in your bathroom when he visits, so as he’s using the bathroom and after he’s done, the stench is already on its way out. And maybe get your husband to be on cleanup duty after his dad uses the bathroom.

TomatoSandwiches · 30/09/2025 18:32

You just don't like him, which is fine I suppose but get your husband to air out the toilet afterwards or spray your concoction about if necessary but I don't think what you've described is particularly disgusting.... I mean no one likes a smell but that's what happens in toilets.

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