My 1 year old is perfectly normal?

I agree.

OP, she's a baby, for goodness sakes, just over a year old. Your parents have completely forgotten what babies are like.

That’s great to hear. Fantastic job all round.

I do love a happy ending ❤️

Ah, good to hear you have all been able to communicate with ech other and sort things out.

This. My grandchild are just wonderful so far as I'm concerned, I love seeing them, and even though looking after them is hard hard work that doesn't change the fact that they are practically perfect.

They definitely do! It's incredible all the things I was doing while still in the maternity ward at the hospital - practically putting myself to bed in the crib, folding the nappies to help out, thanking the nurses for caring for me and writing a thank you note to the obstetrician for delivering me - and I am rather astonished the nurses didn't call a film crew in to witness it. Also rather astonished my mum never thought to tell me about it all until I had my own.

So yes, GP do look back with rose-tinted glasses.

That said, some babies and toddlers are easier than others, and I think your DD sounds quite high energy. But the normal spectrum includes high energy toddlers. It may be you were a bit calmer as a baby, that's definitely possible. At least one of mine was really very calm - though ironically I think they might be the trickiest when they get to teen years. Dc are all different and nothing you say sounds particularly unusual to me.

I know it's a frustration that she is now crying about bath time but I don't think standing in the bath is sensible at all I'm afraid. I think your mum has probably lanced the boil for you on that one, and I'd now continue with that rule.

But other than that, she sounds a perfectly busy, happy little creature.

They'd never see me or my baby again. Of course your child is normal. They are abnormal in the extreme though.

Your baby is totally normal! Your dp sound like the strange ones, their expectations are beyond strange.

I guess if they can't be trusted to be compassionate to a small child, you will have to take emergency leave.

Your parents are being ridiculous.
In the same way that your baby is reacting to new surroundings and routine, your parents are kicking off at their routine being disrupted and different people being in their space.
Have a conversation with them and let them know that you don’t want to hear the word ADHD ever again unless they would like constant concern over the possibility of Alzheimer’s as their memories of babies are atrocious.
Then draw a line and agree to start over.

Your parents sound vile and I wouldn’t visit again - she is a normal one year old and sounds lovely

Perfectly normal. She’s a normal young toddler. They’re dangerous and hard work! Their attention span is very short and their sense of danger is practically non existent. Of course some babies just sit, either because of lack of physical ability or a placid temperament, but it’s not typical at all!

I personally think moving - 2.5 years is the hardest time.

I would go home too call the Nannie and book flights it’s not going to work they have no idea how to care for her and are being horrible about it blaming her.

She sounds like my kids when they were her age. I have had friends with babies who were a lot like your dad described, but I don't think it is the norm.

My MIL had babies that were like your dad described which she thought was due to her superior parenting. Until she looked after my DS1 semi-regularly for a while and realised that no, he was just a more difficult baby.

Ask your father why he is so abnormal. My DF has always been and remains besotted with the perfection that is his GD and he will remain besotted until the moment he dies.

It sounds like your parents just don't know what a one year old is like....

Even if your little one were extremely challenging (and from what you say, I 100% don't think that is the case, but IF she were) they are completely out of line suggesting that she is a 'bad baby' or you are a 'bad parent'.

I do get that we look back with rose tinted glasses.

I do get that they might not have realised looking after a baby when you are in your 50s is a LOT harder than looking after a baby in your 20s / 30s.
I do get that looking after someone else's baby is harder than looking after your own.
I do get they were so excited at the idea of spending time with someone who normally lives so far away is exciting and perhaps blinded them to the reality of it.

BUT I still can't ever imagine calling my dgd a bad baby or my dd a bad parent.

YANBU and they need to take a long hard look at themselves.

Your dd sounds perfectly normal. I wouldnt be happy that I had flown all that way to see them and they are behaving si badly. Can you have a serious conversation warning them to pack it in or you won't be visiting again.

"Haha, mum / dad - this is what babies are like. You're a bit young to be getting this forgetful, aren't you?".

Sounds like the baby has more maturity than your father. Sulking in another room, ffs? They're nuts.

Op I hear you
I live a flight from my parents and when my kids where little they just had forgotten what babies were like. We both (me and them) had built up expectations how trip would go amd it quite often didnt.

I remember my parents freaking out because we didnt eat dinner until nearly 7 as wanted to out baby down.
Them getting grumpy because babies wouldnt go straight to them and so many more

I remember having crying fits in my room on the phone to dh. My parents were just very set on their ways and couldnt get why baby wouldnt do what they wanted. It did get better as dc got older and could recognise grandparents

Are your parents very difficult generally? What's your relationship normally like?

I think they’re being a bit, well a lot, daft. Babies generally have the concentration span of a gnat. They don’t sit still, and who can blame them when there’s a whole world out there for them to explore? If you go out for a walk, and let your baby walk, you get nowhere fast, it’s a well known fact. I don’t understand how people forget that, especially when you see people with their little ones experiencing that every single day of the week.

Of course food is going to go on the floor when she eats. I bought an under highchair mat, to reduce the mess, for when DGS visits. It’s common sense, just like putting a waterproof sheet on a mattress. Babies will cry when they get strapped into a pushchair or car seat, they want to be out and about. I bet she’s not screaming for hours.

It sounds like she’s doing fine to me. I’d be really grouchy if I’d just travelled for 21hrs and was in a different time zone.

I swear that there is a type of grandparents (3/4 of ours are in this bucket) who completely forget how to parent once their children are no longer at home. Yes, there are children who just sit there. Frankly, I'd be more concerned if they just sit placidly and don't want to explore/challenge boundaries. Everything your child is doing is absolutely developmentally normal. My parents refuse to watch my children as "they are too fast/don't listen". When my parents fly to visit us, I often feel like I have two extra children (said only half jokingly).

They are misremembering. My mum does this a lot. And also babies are different!
Talk to them before it all blows up..

What an unpleasant situation for you. Your DD sounds delightful - and totally normal! Your choices are: 1. Grit your teeth and muddle through 2. Check into a hotel 3. Speak out and tolerate the result. Pros and cons to each. Could you sit down with your parents and discuss these choices with them?