If your child is not Catholic

@pumpkinscake
I also grew up in Ireland and have heard it. Not very often, but the term is certainly used.
eg www.churchservices.tv/stsenans

Yes to the holy sacrifice of the mass, quite common, no to holy mass, never used in my 1970s Irish childhood.

Yes, I’ve heard it called Holy Mass on occasion too. Also phrases like ‘the holy sacrifice of the Mass’.
It’s not that unusual.

I don’t think you’re actuslly asking us to congratulate you on not hating Catholics, are you?

While I tend to agree that English people in particular often nourish some deeply odd ideas about Catholicism, and that the broad message of what the average schoolchild is going to hear in a Catholic sermon is indistinguishable from, for instance, the C of E, I think it would be enormously naive to overlook the crimes of the Catholic Church as a corrupt, patriarchal organisation which has systematically allowed its members to abuse women and children with impunity, actively colluding in them continuing their crimes rather than hand them over to the criminal justice system. John Paul II, a hardline conservative under that folksy manner, preferred to allow millions to die of AIDS in Sub-Saharan Africa rather than encourage the use of condoms.

And remember that the C of E vicar talking to schoolchildren about tolerance and love may be a woman reporting to a woman bishop. The Catholic hierarchy would rather let its priesthood die out than contemplate a woman celebrating mass or in a position of authority. The message of justice, tolerance and equality doesn’t extend to women.

In my 1960s childhood, I heard the term 'Holy Mass' very frequently. I had no idea anyone thought it was unusual.

Totally agree. I attend mass and the sermons are all about living a good life, forgiveness and following Jesus. Hell is never even mentioned and I go to mass weekly.

My DC go to Catholic schools and have never been taught this, they don’t get preached at about hell at all it is all forgiveness, kindness and tolerance for all people and beliefs.

People have really weird beliefs about how Catholic schools teach or what Catholic mass preaches and they are generally people who have no experience of it.

I was one of them, raised in the West of Scotland as a Protestant who should hate Catholics I’ve heard all sort of nonsense that just isn’t true.

My DC Catholic school is really inclusive, chilldren come from families who have different beliefs, after the holy communion, there is a photo day, all DC arrive dressed up, some in their communion wear, others wear their best clothing.
Atheist, Muslim, Hindu, Protestant.
There is international integration day, wearing your flag colour, everyone brings a dish or something that represents their culture for display. The DC love it.
Tayto crisp sandwiches

DD's went to a Catholic school, neither are baptized, and we do not believe. It instilled in them a healthy questioning attitude for all religion. One of those DD's did a hefty chunk of Theology at Uni.

But it was a lovely school, with a good community, and good standards of behaviour and support, and that's an excellent thing. Yes, we did go to some of the masses, but it's no different to going to a play. You observe quietly from the back. You can have respect for a religion without believing it. You can marvel at what made man create amazing churches and art in honour of God, without buying into the belief.

I have a lot of Catholic friends, we are still very close, and we don't judge each other for our beliefs

I just don't really see why it matters, especially if you are of no faith. It's fine to stay away too but it seems odd - if you don't believe it it doesn't mean anything.

Attending those services is the practicing element of those religions and some parents wouldn’t want their children to partake if they were atheist or of another religion. Some wouldn’t mind and that’s ok too. It’s down to
choice and in my experience catholic schools are pretty accommodating either way.

I’m from NI & although I regard myself as an atheist, I was raised as a Protestant as was my husband, and we were educated in the state system (ie largely Protestant schools, with a few different faiths attending). My son went to a Catholic school from pre-school until p3, because it was a SEN school and best fit his needs at the time. We went to the services/Mass etc because DS liked us to go. His school closed down after his P3 year due to government cuts and closures of SEN schools. I’m eternally grateful for everything that wee school did for him. I agree that Faith should not be part of the education system, but should be a personal thing at home. I’m appalled that in NI children’s education is still largely segregated. Ultimately OP, what does your child want you to do? My DS is now 23. In spite of attending Catholic school in his early years, he’s an atheist like his parents 🥰I did not feel remotely uncomfortable attending the services. The school was very welcoming.

Oh I wouldn’t worry about that! I recently met a young Muslim Undergraduate who had sailed through years 7-11 at a RC school and had managed to retain precisely nothing about the Catholic faith!

I find in my experience many Muslim girls go to Catholic or CofE secondary schools because they are single sex schools.
We looked at a CofE secondary. It was all girls and a high amount were Muslim girls.
It's the same God anyway.

I went to a convent school in france for a couple of year (long story- don't ask) but even then we have a few Muslim girls there - and i was already damn near atheist at that point. I think its really a non issue.

Why does it matter if they attend a Shabbat service or mosque when they don't believe it? If they're respectful while they're there the worst that will happen is they might learn something surely? Not least that sometimes we have to do stuff we're not that interested in because that's just how it goes.

This is a really disrespectful comment to make about people's religious beliefs.

The morning prayers and over all ethos is fine. Mass is a whole different thing it’s like attending Friday prayer at the mosque or a Shabbat service. So I can understand why parents would want their non catholic kids to not participate in that practice.

As for not sending their kids to a religious school well for some they have no choice because the alternative is worse. The catholic school may be a better performing one or have really good pastoral care.

Most religious school have an overwhelming majority of none religious kids anyway so asking if your child can opt out of Mass isn’t an unreasonable request.

Did you mean to reply to someone else? I didn't say deeply religious

In terms of people telling others to 'opt out' their children - they can opt out of Religious Education lessons and 'collective worship', but cannot opt out of the day-to-day life of the school. In a faith school, that means prayers in a morning, at the end of the day, maybe prayer at a form/tutor time.

All schools in England must be nominally Christian according to the law anyway.

Islam, Judaism and Christianity are all cheeks of the same arse.

Not in Ireland, where they still make up the vast majority of schools. Everyone attends them.

I was a non-Catholic boy at a catholic school. My parents never attended any religious services there.

Would you be so openly critical of Islam and Judaism or is it only Catholicism thats hated on Mumsnet?

Deeply religious? I really don't think so. It used to be that you had to observe the basic rituals like church-going in order to keep your job and place in society, and had to pick a lane when the Catholics and Protestants were joyously ignoring God's sixth commandment in respect of each other, and your family's survival depended on the latest monarch's religious whims.

But for centuries people have grasped secularism with both hands as the church lost its claw-like grip on power both politically and socially. Why is our language is so rich in terms like God botherer, bible basher, holier than thou? Why are "puritan" and "pious" and "preach" and "zealotry" such negative words when used in General English? Cant, hypocrisy and empty ritual, that's why.

If you read Chaucer's satire of the corruption and hypocrisy of the Catholic Church in the 1300s, you can see why that lot did little to inspire any genuine spirituality or belief among the wider population, beyond lip service born of terror and fear. And the CofE is just the same with fewer candles.