Changing nappies on airport seats

That's true and you sound very kind but she really did need telling. Hopefully having a strip torn off her made her realise that she was totally out of line there. FWIW, I'd be far more sympathetic about the nappy changing mum at the airport where there was a long toilet queue. I wouldn't have told her she was disgusting and I'm fine with friends changing their babies' nappies in the same room as me. But that is different to letting your toddler take a shit in a potty in public. Really unfair on the kid as well.

Quite.

I do think people would do well not to berate mothers of small children who are probably doing their best!

A soiled and potentially leaky nappy, a baby who could start crying from said nappy any minute, a long queue for the toilet, the need to get on the plane any minute - all adds up to a potential needs much moment! Or at least one where people might weigh up the situation differently.

You say she used a mat and was quick so this wouldn’t bother me.

And everyone is a perfect parent until they have kids.

If there was a big queue then clearly there was not "adequate facilities provided!"

Agreed. It’s the chance you take if you decide to potty train on the go

Yeah, I know, and funnily enough I was nannying twins at the time and also potty training them. Logistical nightmare at times but there’s absolutely no way I would have done what she did. My point is though she was obviously pretty fragile and I wouldn’t want to be responsible for making someone feel more shit than they did already.

So the lady is probably in a heightened level of stress travelling with a little one, the flight is about to board, there’s a long queue for the baby change and the baby decides that’s the best time to go (as they do, without fail). I can quite understand why she made the decision to change it there and then. Not ideal but neither was the situation. What you could have done is reassure her that you’d go tell the gate staff not to close the gate without her so she could queue for the toilets, or maybe go to the toilets with her and be another voice asking if anyone minded if she jump ahead since her flight was boarding. A bit of kindness costs nothing.

That's absolutely pathetic of the mum though. You can't let your kid shit in a potty in a public building that other people use. You just can't. Nobody cares that she's potty training - she has to make sure to carry spare clothes and wait for the toilet to become free and then deal with whatever mess has resulted. Bursting into tears isn't a get out of jail free card - she behaved disgustingly and obviously planned for this and thought it was okay.

Having the truth pointed out to you isn’t berating.

I suggest you get a thicker skin - you’re going to need it once you become a parent .

I agree, it’s totally different before solids

I’m just back from flying with a baby and I think that changing a poopy nappy around other people and on seats is gross. If it really needed doing out of the baby change facilities then find somewhere quiet and where people aren’t expected to be sitting around. Maybe I’m extra but I also wouldn’t want to strip my baby off in front of everyone in public for his sake either. He’s only tiny but still deserves an amount of dignity. I wouldn’t say anything to her but I would judge.

So should she have:

1. missed the plane; or
2. not change the nappy and have that child scream for 45 minutes until you could take seat belts off so she could change his nappy? (My baby never ever slept with a pooey nappy and would have just screamed and screamed at that age).

The men's loo being available is useless. 90% of the time the men do not have a changing table. And even if they do, her DH could he a useless twat that never changes a nappy.

She really had v little choice here.

Come back after you actually give birth.

A few months ago I was in the library and a woman hastily brought out a travel potty for one of her children and proceeded to let her shit on it. I WAS disgusted, it stank but I didn’t say anything, just hastily moved well away. The woman who was working in the library came over and absolutely tore her to pieces, saying it was awful parenting to allow it and she should be ashamed. Now on the one hand I agreed, there was a toilet, albeit occupied. But the woman was in such a state that I asked if she was ok and she sobbed that she was trying to potty train her twins and had just been caught out. She felt absolutely shite to have been called out like that, the kid was old enough to pick up on it all too, someone having a go at their mum like that while in their mind they were doing what they were supposed to do and get the poo in the potty 🤦🏻‍♀️ the mum was still crying when they left.

so yeah on the face of it, gross, but i ended up feeling really sorry for her. That’s why I’d never do what you did OP and just have a go.

But you don’t have kids yet and you don’t understand. I’m waiting for my first to finally come out and join us - I wouldn’t dream of judging a parent who’s probably just trying their best. Because I’m not a parent yet and I don’t understand.

Like other posters have said, maybe there wouldn’t have been time to find the right facilities, change the little one and get back in time to board. That you felt entitled to go and berate her? Christ, that’s just…well, I hope a judgey little madam does the same to you when you’re a parent 😂. Maybe you’ll even look back on this and groan at how you behaved at that point.

This

I would never ever change a poo nappy in public usually however in a queue right before a plane I could actually understand as you’re stressed you’ll miss boarding and know if you didn’t do it you wouldn’t get a chance for ages while the plane takes off. Kind of disgusting for other people but I get it and would definitely sympathise with a stressed new mother of a little baby.

To berate her like that is shameful and I hope you look back with embarrassment when you have your own children.

Yes, really fucking gross but my sister with her first child proceeded to change him on a cafe table a few days after birth while we just sat and stared at her until the cafe staff came over and were like erm no. Some people just have absolutely no clue and are very absorbed in themselves. But you are right, it's grim.
I remember a recent thread where the OP was horrified because a lady told her off for letting her six year old pee in the supermarket car park instead of taking her to the toilet. Some people just genuinely think other people are cool with their child's shit and piss in the way that they obviously are.

OP if you are this sensitive you really shouldn't go around berating others in public.

If I had seen you telling a stressed mom in an airport handling a difficult situation (you said yourself there was a big queue for the toilets, and maybe she was looking after multiple children alone and couldn't wrangle them all into a baby change cubicle in time) that she was disgusting, I'd probably tell you to back off and leave her alone.

Maybe we need an ‘outrage at impromptu nappy changes board’ with all these threads.

Didn’t you say it was boarding though? I think she was right to quickly change it rather than board a plane with a baby who has a smelly nappy. Better for the baby and the other passengers. She might have thought she wouldn’t be able to use it until the flight was fully in the air and seat belt signs off.

Personal view is that in that instance, I’d have just used the baby change as soon as I got onto the plane as we all know they don’t move right away anyway. Worst case scenario I’d of changed my baby on their pram out of the way as wouldn’t want anyone seeing her with her nappy off anyway. Not saying anyone is looking, just feels uncomfortable tbh. I hate those European communal baby changes for the same reason. But that’s as a parent of 2 who has done a lot of travelling with them.

Is it common sense to change a baby on the floor of the mens loos?

Did you send your dp to check the mebs toilets for baby changing?

She's about to board a plane. She used a changing mat. Its not ideal but better than a child on a plane with a stinking nappy surely?

It's not about standards, it's about having to make parenting decisions under stressful conditions.

If you would opt for potentially missing a flight vs having to quickly change a nappy in public, then that's your choice.

Unless what a parent is doing is dangerous, then you shouldn't judge unless you're perfect yourself.