It’s all such bloody hard work

I'd blame yourself if your kids are still climbing into bed or children's tv on constantly.. its up to parents to put a stop to that and make time for yourselves.

You do know you can change things and not get sucked into the trends don’t you? Traditional party games were great fun and loved by all. Get you kids outside and switch off the TV. Teach your kids to be individual and think for themselves.

It is possible to have a "home party" with 5yr olds. No more than 8 or, at a push, 10. But you need TWO adults, one to lead the games, one to manage the music & background bits & pieces; you HAVE to be very highly organised and you need to go at a smart pace from one game to another. No time for kids to get bored or start a fight. Lots of pre-prepped pass-the-parcels (with a single sweet inside each wrapping and a mini-box of smarties in the middle). Musical statues; Sleeping Lions; Sneaky Pete (this is better with 6 - 10yr olds & is a brilliant party game); teach them the Hokey-Cokey - they love to "all fall down" at the end; run to a strict time-table (say 2pm till 4pm); have the "tea" with cake/candles near the end (water & juice only - no fizzy); have a SMALL party-bag (1xballoon; 1xbubblemix; 1xparty-blower; 1x party-size Haribo or similar) to leave with (helps get them out of the door). Get the parents to come back (if, indeed, they leave at all) half-hour before end of party. Ply parents with chilled white wine (or apple juice for drivers). Smile an awful lot & be RELENTLESSLY CHEERFUL. Job done.😅

They will all have syndromes.

One of my mums' group friends never let me forget having said "we're supposed to enjoy this shit?!" - I can't remember exactly what had happened but picture shoals of children and the usual household disaster limitation exercises. She laughed herself silly.

I'm extremely glad that I will never again have to put an acceptable lunchbox together.

I agree with some of your points but dont think a jam or honey sandwich, apple and penguin bar has ever been an acceptable lunch. Nutrition aside it's sweet, sweet and sweet. Where's the savoury part of the meal? (SEN aside)

I mean you’re right. But there’s a very easy solution. To anybody who is capable of saying “no” to their children. Which is a necessary precondition of being a good parent.

It’s crazy and I like nothing better than a dump and run party these days. I knew things were turning for the worse when my youngest arrived home wanting a Bento Box and an . The school had to email parents to stop Stanley cups coming into school complete with all the accessories because the shelves in the classroom weren’t big enough to accommodate them all, junior school kids with accessorised bloody Stanley’s! It’s mental how so many kids are materialistic at 10 years old. I’ve said no to everything that has come my way. It’s pathetic.

I have done the old fashioned part thing lots of times with my kids. I have twins who are now 16. I structured it so there was always something do. Granted I used to have a themes. It was a unicorn theme one year for example, depending what they were into. Started off with pass the parcel, pin the tail on the donkey, musical bumps and hit the pinata. All from B&M. I used to do individual cupcakes instead of a big cake for them all to take home. The girls would have a smaller cake with candles. We'd do karaoke using YouTube and eat party food. Used to send out cheap invites. The party would last a couple of hours. Just put kpop demon hunters sing along on. It'll be fine. Don't expect perfection because it doesn't exist and don't stress. Just be present. It got more expensive as they got older, and don't get me started on Prom omg 😧

I agree. My kids left primary about 15 years ago and it was the same then. When I was at primary there was none of this stuff and my parents only ever went to the school twice a year, once for parent’s evening and once for the nativity. That was their only interaction with the school. No constant stream of letters and correspondence (except for the dreaded one sent by the nit nurse). I don’t think my parents had a single day of stress or expectation caused by the school and there were three of us there at the same time.

There's a huge difference between being child friendly and child centred. If children think the world revolves around them, they are going to get a heck of a shock in later life....

I was thinking about this. I don’t think my parents worried about us being bored at all. They just expected us to join in sorting out the do-er upper house or read a book or whatever. There were few family days out (because of the do-er upper) and we just played a lot with friends.
6 pm became parents TV. No alternative and no concessions.
Friends parents fairly similar.

My daughter has just thrown a party for her two daughters soon to be 6 and 4
Held in the local church hall for free. Grandad provided the music and an auntie ran the party games such as pass the parcel, musical statues etc.
Prizes were bought recently from a supermarket getting rid of their summer toys in an amazing sale. Party bags were just a token and hardly cost anything.
.Food was very simple for these 3-5 year olds.
Yet everyone seemed to really enjoy the 1.5 hours. Adults and children alike.

Take stock and stop doing what doesn't work for you.

I am working hard on making my kids wait. I used to hop to it every time they asked/demanded/requested something.

10 yo is getting a big birthday party but he hasn't had one in 4 years.

Yet to be 4 yo will have her first party next year.

I agree we do too much, but we're the captains of our own ship. Equally I feel like our parents (80s & 90s upbringing) did the bare minimum. There must be a "good enough" in between.

Fine with your own children, less easy with the couple of friends your child has invited.

I voted YANBU because a lot of people do this and I understand the impact of peer pressure. You don’t have to. Your life will be a lot better if you dgaf about what other people are doing. We do school dinners because it’s easier for me. I make the birthday cakes. I’m certainly not spending 100s on something to be squished into party bags and thrown away. My kids do play independently and they sleep in their own beds all night (after co sleeping as babies/toddlers). We don’t really watch adult tv though we agree as a family on something to watch on movie night as there are loads of great films for all ages.

Parents of today will reap the consequences tomorrow. Sorry, kids belong in their own beds, they belong ln their own bed at a set time at night, it is then time parents tidy round, relax and watch TV or read a book. I think a lot of parents try to be their kids best friends, rather than parents. You can be parents as well as friends but let them make their own best friend. By letting them have such expensive items as £23 for lip gloss your making for life to be a very big let down or for their husbands to live a life of hell, trying to keep up with expensive spoilt wives. Teach them the cost of living, or let them do jobs round the house for money and then see what they waste it on.

Being a parent is not a democracy. You are still in charge! Pandering to your children's every desire is no good and no good for them at all.
Create some charts and ways of sharing info about your hobbies, and their hobbies - on something you can stick on the wall. Create a timetable (which this aged children can easily understand) which carves out time for them, and for you and then you all together.
You can have a lot of fun putting these plans in place and everyone will benefit. Best of luck to you all!

Just to comment on the TV - DH and I were discussing this the other day. We had kids tv from 3.30-5.30 if we were lucky. There was no such thing as kids tv all day!! I wish it were still like this if I’m honest. I used to watch play days and the magic pencil whilst mum cooked! 🎤🎼 “Down at the bottom of the garden, among the birds and the bees, lived a lot of little people, they’re called the Poddington Peas, the Poddington PEEAAAS!! “ Anyone else? 😂

Reminds me of the Bluey Pass the Parcel episode where Pat is outraged that there's a present in every layer.

You forgot must have a drink bottle at all times 🤣

Ha! My bro was an early 90’s kid (there’s a decade between us). He had a similar pizza party for his 7th birthday, I think it was. I remember being around 16 and shocked because all the girls at the party refused the pizza because ‘it had too many carbs in’ 😳. Seven year-old girls. Never mind their reaction to the ‘when the music stops, put on the hat, gloves and scarf and use a knife and fork to cut up and eat the giant Dairy Milk bar’ game 😂. I swear, sometimes we have rose-tinted glasses on the past and think it was all so much easier and better while actually the same issues still existed.

Glad your pizza party went more successfully than that one!

Oh, on the children’s parties: I actually made that the theme of my eldest’s third birthday! The theme was “90s pizza party” (I was an early 90s kid). Lots of balloons, pizza, and colourful bunting that I had anyway from a bbq a few years ago. The whole thing cost me very little for about 15-20 kids plus parents (thanks Lidl!). Luckily our local village hall is only £10 an hour too so hiring the space was easy. Then I just brought my kid’s toys along. I made a cake using a 3 silicone mould I borrowed and lots of sprinkles, like my mum made. The parents loved it, it was a real blast from the past and the kids obviously thought it was great, colourful and tasty!

Not a beige/ pastel balloon arch (not to be touched, only to be photographed of course) in sight…

" No, you can't go, we won't be attending" Tough it out.