It’s all such bloody hard work

It’s embarrassing alright for the wet blanket parents.

Is this one of those weird, slagging off modern parents, better in the good old days threads?

You don't have to do all that performative for social media stuff. You can just let your kids potter around.

My 4 year definitely sleeps through (does come into my bed but I'm OK with that- we did the same in the 90s all families are different!).

I think the main problem is now both parents have to work to afford a good quality of life and therefore everyone is frazzled. I'm not saying women back in the kitchen but how much better would it be if more Mums and Dads would work part time.

That happens a LOT on here!

Following.

I’ve never had to because my children’s friends weren’t wet blankets, but if this crap goes on at my grandchildren’s birthday party, absolutely I will
My daughter’s work very hard for their money and they want their children to enjoy their birthdays. Some little twat is not going to ruin it.

Sorry but that didn't happen in my house, I ran it like a military school.
I was a single mum to DC from when they were very young to 18 when they went off to uni.
I worked full time, they had to be in bed by 8pm and stay there and only had what I could afford or I would have gone stark staring mad with exhaustion.
They also did chores, I'm not a servant, no chores meant no pocket money.
There was no question of me not being able to watch a tv programme with everyone playing quietly.
I put myself first a lot or I simply would not have been able to manage.
You don't have to live like this. .

They would be told to leave.
That’s it out done this is the offering of the party. This is what I am putting on for you to do.
If it’s not good enough. Youre welcome to leave

So you walk up to Mr. And Mrs. Pathetic.
And you tell them their child is spoiling the party for everybody else. Can you take them outside until they can stop crying and carrying on?
If they’re fighting, they are immediately no longer welcome in your house out the door
Not joining in well go and sit on your mum’s lap until you decide you want to because you’re missing out on all the fun

I am mid 50s, foster carer. My kids are all grown. I have just been looking after a 14 year old girl who said, I wish I was alive in the 80s. It looked so much fun. Everyone played outside without grown ups, music was loud and everyone sang along and went out together. It looked like people had so much more fun. I had to admit to her, that yes it was A LOT more fun and I feel very sad for kids these days. Their childhoods are completely different to what mine was and even my kids in the 2000s. Doesn’t follow the lemmings, be proud to bring your kids up to think differently and enjoy the freedoms and happiness of the world rather than the insta obsessed majority!!!

Absolutely this. I wouldn't hesitate.

Lunch boxes - sandwich with a healthy filling, apple (or equivalent) and a bottle of water.
Snacks: (usually a banana)
We don't do TV really for the kids, but we definitely control when it goes on/off and what is watched.
Everyone sleeps int heir own bed and if they get out they are taken back.

If they fight you call their mummy or daddy to come and pick them up
If they cry, you tell mummy and daddy that they have to leave because they are spoiling the party for everybody else
If they don’t play the games, they get to just sit there and watch everybody else do it.
You don’t have to be unkind to children to impose your will on them

But that’s because you’re allowing it.
We didn’t allow complaints of boredom or non-compliance with the games. It just wasn’t an option.

Exactly the same here. After toddlerhood the only night waking was if they were ill. They knew they slept in their bed. I would get up and take them back if they ever came into our room in the night.
Never did a whole class party, just selected friends at our house. I would say when they were young our lives were pretty child-centric but nothing that I ever begrudged or felt resentful of.

I think there can be a little bit of balance, My kids childhood was very kids centric and they are still very resilient and do stand on their own feet work. Good jobs have driving licenses can swim across the road etc.
My 15-year-old doesn’t want to sleep in my bed anymore. You’ll be pleased to hear.
Everything will pass the bad bits and the good bits too

YANBU. I think the modern way of parenting is terrible for everyone involved.
I would encourage you to go by old fashioned standards in as many ways as you really can. Obviously good quality food is important. Them missing CBeebies is not.
Take back the control on terms which suit you- the first few weeks will be a big fight but stick to your guns. You’d be doing them a huge favour to learn how to be bored, how to entertain themselves. Any friends in the same street? Send them to ask if their friends want to come play in the garden for an hour or whatever. Best of luck. I think you are spot on that the way of parenting now is ridiculous

I agree. Parenting is almost unbearable now. I constantly wonder why I had more children later in life. Of course I love them but we have become ridiculous as a society, every day has to be filled with interesting activities, nutritious food, not too much screen time, snacks, the latest fads. I am singing pissing lullabies and acting like Mary-fucking-Poppins at bedtime after brushing their teeth so it’s done properly and telling them I love them so they don’t have adult trauma and my kids are still whining about something or another. I’m frazzled by it all.

And let me tell you this. I have two adult kids. The eldest didn’t buy her step Dad (of 13 years) a card or gift for his birthday so I had to buy one and pretend it was from them so as not feel embarrassed. The 2nd eldest I haven’t seen in almost 7 weeks. So they clearly grow up to not like us very much anyway. I reckon we should just do it 80’s style again.

The expensive cosmetics for children thing blows my mind. We used Rimmel, 17, and Avon. I didn't even know things like Clarins existed until I was in my early twenties and worked at a department store. It's really jarring to see children using these incredibly expensive brands, because to me they are very much for adult women.

Plus, there are many ranges these days to experiment with, like Revolution and Soap and Glory and large ranges by L'Oreal and Maybelline, etc.

Do things differently then. Everything is in your control.

Personally I like the co-sleeping!

YANBU. Yes of course you can parent however you want, and could easily do lighter touch birthday parties etc - like you say it’s all optional. But I completely agree that it feels like everything is hard work and it’s easy to lose touch with reality on it all.

Social media plays a big part in this. We are exposed more than ever before to the highlights of peoples lives, and it’s easy to get sucked into thinking we should be doing the same. If I scroll through instagram for 10 mins I could easily see 10 “nudges” of things I should be considering when it comes to raising my children.

I do find that in real life most people are muddling along just like me! No one is truly doing it all. And the attempt to do it all would make you self combust!