It’s all such bloody hard work

What I would give to watch my own tv during the weekends !!!!!!!!
My children 2 and 3 rule the tv if it is on! Constant demands for a snack which I always feel should be bloody homemade! Endless parties . A 2 year old having a party which would be impressive for a 22 year old. I know I often do along with it all as well. My mum was lazy and I don’t want to be like her but there was nothing wrong with a penguin and panda pop and playing under the table while my mum did what she wanted ! Was there !!!!

Nursery - they needs - crocs , wellies, trainers , slippers, rain coat , all in one, onezie , endless !!!

Mine are also at private school. It’s ridiculous. Especially the one-up-man-ship of parties. Someone had a (awful in fairness) town hall party and there were definitely a few sideways looks. This weekend we have a 6-9pm party in an expensive attraction private hire 😵‍💫

Yes though presumably not the same people who were planning trips to Patagonia pre kids so I don’t really see what that has so do with anything?

What a bloody joke. There are families with nothing who go nowhere.

Spot on OP!

I used to watch Eastenders, The Bill... didn't do me any harm.

I'd play out on the street every day and entertain myself at home with things like books, puzzles, writing. Very little parent input.

My parents think I'm mad to co-sleep.

I envision a slight reversion to who it was in the next decade or two.

My best friend’s hen cost me £500

I'm very sorry but why don't people have the guts to say no. Sometimes I'm glad I'm poor.

Exactly- I think I just object to all the "back in my day" and "well my children never" and then a lot of complaining about "gentle parenting" that always happens on these threads. Luckily my DM is like "no you were all bloody hard work!"

I do think that there are lots of financial pressures on parents these days and social media has created a ridiculous culture of over consumption/ over stimulation. But I also think you can opt out of these things.

I don't understand why people are so anti snacking though unless kids won't eat a meal. Adults snack all the time!

Why don’t you contact NHS and tell them you don’t get the snacking thing? They recommend three meals and two healthy snacks a day.

It is disingenuous in the extreme to pretend that porridge for breakfast and some apple as a snack, home made pizza for lunch and breadsticks as a snack then home made chilli is a terrible diet. It’s normal. Most people especially children will need something between breakfast and lunch and between lunch and dinner.

I have no idea how it’s substituted hard work with Covid 😂 - I guess it was also hard work but that’s a stretch. I think you are at a hard childhood phase @Uggbootsforever . Mine were 3 and 5 in the first lockdown and it was soooooo tough. The degree to which you feel like all you do is kids stuff peaks when they are big enough to be mobile and too small to follow and join in with stuff you are interested in. I have more fun with the kids more often now they are a bigger. We go to the theatre together, they enjoy a good ramble round the National trust or along the coast, they like museums and galleries and they are happy to entertain themselves. Not to mention they can now make the tea

I must admit I don’t get the snacking thing. What happened to three square meals a day? Unless a doctor has specified differently for an individual, I just don’t see the benefit of constantly eating. My dentist banned snacking for my kids when they were young.

Hahahaha this made me laugh. I used to want to go trekking in Patagonia too. Then I had pre schoolers during a pandemic that prevented travel and then they went to school and holidays quadrupled in price 🤣

You are not wrong.

And we see the results of this 'all about the children' and 'parents treating children like buddies instead of, um, children' in schools. The sense of individual entitlement is HUGE. So many feel they should be able to do what they want, when they want, and not have to do anything they don't want to. And parents support this attitude!

I feel for you and I'll be eternally grateful I've never had any of these useless lumps in my child's friendship groups. My child would probably have been the most unpopular in school, because I don't entertain unnecessarily unruly children.

My daughter is now 16/17 and reasonably sensible, but she also has a fairly low key friendship group, so I'm not even tempted to rise to the competitive nonsense. They buy silly , overpriced stuff but they save to do so, or wait for birthdays and Christmas.

She still crawls into my bed occasionally though, so I haven't completely cracked that one.

Idk about the rest, but I work in schools and the lunches you describe are not what I see in the lunch hall! Mostly just prepacked junk food. And the school's in a pretty nice area. I'd like to make my DS healthy, aesthetic lunches, but he's too fussy, so he just gets sandwich/fruit/crackers.

I agree with you on some points. However, I wouldn't be tolerating a child in our bed. I spent a one or two nights sleeping on the floor in various kid's bedrooms over the years, but it was worth it for keeping our bed for the grown ups.

You’ll get back to it. We paused when kids were small as it was too much like Covid but since youngest was 6 we are back to stuff we like adapted to work with them - walking in lakes, city breaks to London, Rome, Berlin & Amsterdam, interrail trip, exploring coast of Denmark (with a side trip to Billund), adventure trip to Costa Rica - all
sorts. Our friends were out in Thailand and Vietnam all summer with their 9 & 11 year old and had an awesome time. We are thinking of going to Brazil next year. I also know people who never stopped going on more adventurous trips.

I have a young dc and I don't engage with most of this shite.
She gets hot dinner at nursery, I don't do snacks. She gets 3 meals a day. She can have a banana or milk.
She goes to the park every night and plays ( I go and supervise). Every kid in our village age 1-12 goes, they run around, have their bikes, play football.
I don't do screentime for her.
And I've not given her a party yet.

You make your own rules.

This is my life too.

However, all the Instagram posing has gone too far.

We should all be aiming for somewhere in the middle. No guilt, no neglect.

I’m with you. We have taken a few friends for tea and to something at the theatre or done a day trip by train. It’s not so much different in price to do that for 2-3 kids plus birthday child vs having a party.

My parents neglected me and my needs to meet their own. I didn't do any clubs because they didn't want to help me get to them, I couldn't even watch the 2 hours of kids tv after school as my mum liked Countdown and the other shows on the other channels, or she'd lie on the sofa napping and demand silence, all weekend was spent being dragged around their various hobbies, we never went to the park, they certainly never played with me or my siblings. I never once had a birthday party, and I know I only had one birthday cake because I remember it vividly. It didn't get cut though and ended up on the bird table. No one ate any of it.

I need you all to know that I'm very much not alright as a result of this and I can't stand my mum as a result. We have zero relationship. I'm very independent and super resilient, but not in healthy ways. None of it is good.

I'm cool with watching tv with my son, he watches tv with me too. I used to get sent to school with sandwiches that had mould on the bread - bring on the vigilance for a healthy diet. I love being a mum. Doing shit with and for him is the best bit. So while I understand your perspective and it's your reality, it isn't everyone's.

Social media has ruined it! Everyone trying to out do eachother it’s pathetic

Yes you're pretty much describing my life and I totally agree! I don't know how to fix it though.

I was thinking just the same last night when my 7 year old kept me awake for 2 hours not wanting to go back to their room as they were scared and I ended up sleeping on the floor and my back is now killing. I mean, what the hell!

And it isn't because I was too permissive and co-sleeping etc when they were young, we've always been strict on our bed being ours and having good routines.

I love them dearly but sigh...

I absolutely don't do snacks though, never understood it and my DC know not to ask for them. It means they're good eaters at dinner time at least.