To ask how many of you have actually had a good manager?

That description is exactly what my former (crap) manager didn't do, to the point that I'm half wondering if we've had the same one (not that I'm going to ask - I'm quite happy not knowing where she is now.) I've often said she was a perfect example of how not to do it. So many people didn't stick out a year that working for her became known as the Defence Against the Dark Arts job.

Still quite early days with my current one but so far so good, and the one before her was great - everyone was gutted when he took voluntary redundancy in a restructure.

In the past I've had some who have been perfect examples of how not to do it - one didn't spend enough time with us and had no real understanding of what went on on the ground, was never available and we never had a clue where she was. She wouldn't investigate any issues properly but would form her own conclusions and act on that - inevitably resulting in what I call the "Voldemort in the Ministry of Magic" moment when the truth of the matter ended up staring her in the face and she realised there had been more to the situation all along.

The next one after that was so determined to avoid her mistakes, she went too far in the other direction and became a very strict micromanager, and couldn't quite see that that in itself can be a mistake.

I've found the opposite to be true. I've had some incredible managers and some truly awful ones. The best ones - a mix of men and women - hands down, all had bags of confidence and/or charisma and were just very 'people-y' people. They just got 'it'. I'd work for them all again in a heartbeat.

The worst ones tended to be those who lacked confidence and were quite clearly dealing with some built-in insecurities. Yet were somehow managers by default. These people would be very good at their actual job - but would have virtually no man management skills at all.

I had a really good one in an office when I was in my 20's. I had come from a horrible big corporate company where the HR lady literally sat me down and told me I had to wear make-up in case a client saw me (I was a very junior support role and certainly not client facing). I went to a family run smaller firm and my boss there was actually very strict, but strict in the way a good competent teacher is. She went over everything I did with a red pen, gave it back for me to re-do. I soon learnt what was expected and was able to do everything the way she liked it really quickly. We never argued and she just knew she could rely on me and vice-versa. She also picked nice clients so we always seemed to be fighting for the underdog and winning. Annoyingly she fell out with another person and left, but I had a good 5 year run there.

I have mostly had adequate managers. I had one manager who may have had some potential at one point, but his manager was a bully, and he didn't have the strength to withstand it. His life was not easy.

I had a director who was excellent- he chaired a mediation meeting and every now and then would stop and say, let me summarise these points, to make sure I've understood them properly. If other people chaired meetings like him, they would be so much more efficient and productive.

I left my last job after 5 months because of micromanagement- he'd not managed anyone before, and I think if he had decent training, he might turn out all right, but it's a start-up and I don't think he'll get it there.

Current manager (10 months in) seems good. I almost cried in my mid-year review, because she didn't want to put me down all the time and is actually interested in my next career steps. Never really had that from a line manager before.

The trouble is, in many areas, people get promoted on their technical ability, and then the next step is people management, regardless of whether they've actually any skills in that - I'm in IT, and everyone grumbles about having yo fo "soft skills training" - usually they're not soft at all. Managing all those different personalities and ambitions (and lack of ambition) and abilities, personality clashes, etc, etc, none of thst is easy.

I remember someone at Dad's funeral saying he had seen Dad at work with some of the more challenging farm workers personslity-wise, and said because of seeing that, Dad was the sort of manager he aspired to be.

I have just left a job with a fantastic manager. I guess respect works both ways, but truly, she was human and became a friend.
I was forever pointing out to my junior colleagues, that are just starting out in the world of work, how fortunate they are to have her as a manager. But they won’t appreciate it until they move on and get a bad one!!! God knows I’ve had some seriously questionable managers in the past and therefore know and appreciate how fortunate I was to get a great one for nine years!!!

I’ve had several over my decades as a social worker - some that could be described as excellent; quite good, just good enough, awful and utterly atrocious. Makes no odds to me, as am so long in the tooth I am head down, balls deep into my own case load regardless. To be fair by 5 years on the tools most colleagues ‘manage’ themselves anyway.
what I do know though- hands down with a cherry on top - is that it’s better to be on the right side of a bad manager than the wrong side, and that’s where my investment in their style starts and ends. Works for me.
they come and they go.
I wouldn’t do it for toffee. 5/10k more a year and probably around another 15/20 hours on top of the 55/60 I do already - plus more accountability in a service on its knees and relentless and paranoid arse covering -sod that

Mine current manager can ve a nightmare. Blows hot and cold depending on whatever is happening to/around her. And anyone making a suggestion is treated like tgeyre stupid for even considering it. IE it's either "d-uh, well, obviously!" Or "why would you think THAT would work?". Fortunately I realise she does it to everyone...

I've had about 4 epically brilliant ones (including my current one), some who were pleasant but not really gifted managers and only a few really bad ones. I'm also told I'm a good manager (I'm very good at trusting people, gently coaching them and having their backs; I'm probably less good if the people I'm managing don't perform but try and mitigate that through good recruiting).

The good ones take an interest in their team, have difficult conversations and have their backs in public even if they're a bit miffed in private). They also set boundaries for their teams. I hope you get a good one soon OP, I'm moving jobs soon and I feel quite sad I won't get to work with my LM any more.

I have only ever had good managers. Nobody is perfect, and all have had some flaws or blindspots, but they have all been good managers in the sense that they were supportive, interested in my development, valued learning, and set expectations. I have tried to model my own style in some way on all the managers I have had.

This thread just made me realise I don't actually know who my manager is! I'm a Paramedic with ambulance service - we just turn up, pair up with whomever is on the 'orders' (website), grab a vehicle and off we go. There are certainly managers out there I'm sure in an office but they don't have any engagement with the staff on the road, Ive never had any dealings with them (10yrs in now) - I'm sure if I messed up someone would make me see one but honestly have no idea who that would be. We don't really report to anyone just bob along in the job.

If off sick we just leave a message on an answer service and then call back in when ready to come back.

Training is delivered either online - click through a video quickly to tick the box at the end, or by another paramedic on a training day to sign us off on still remembering how to do CPR.

I think it's probably why I've stuck at the role. Whilst we're obviously told who to go see and where they are by the screen on the dash , and obviously turn up according to the rota - the rest we are left to own devices.

This entirely
I have been fortunate to have good managers throughout my career and I have also been a manager.
You can't be friends with your manager, it doesn't work. You can be friendly which is different.
Managers need to be fair, supportive and consistent. Sometimes that means saying no that doesn't make someone a bad manager.
I agree that people management can be difficult and there will always be people who will be unfair and unreasonable.
Very important that professional boundaries are maintained

I've had mostly good. I've also had the devil incarnate who blamed everyone for her own shortcomings.

I had a great boss who believed in me more than I did myself. She nominated me for awards, was so patient when I struggled, was a great coach and mentor and created many opportunities for me. I was headhunted and lured away by doubling my salary and I couldn't turn that down. She tried to talk me out of going but I left. New company was shockingly chaotic and I went back and begged for my job. She told me to stay a month in the new role and if I felt the same to come back and talk to her. By the end of that month I decided to stay in what turned out be a brilliant job in the end. I'll always be grateful to her.

Second great boss was a hard bastard. He demanded the world on a plate and was absolutely scathing if you didn't meet his expectations. I learned so much from that experience that stood me in good stead later. Most of the people who worked for him have gone on to great things. I've a lot to thank him for.

There have probably been more poor bosses than good ones in my career. I know I'm not a great manager myself. I think I've picked up some of the intolerance and impatience of boss 2. 😬

In 35 years of work, I've had one brilliant manager (my current one), 2 really good, a couple of fairly decent ones and several in the 'meh' category. I consider myself very lucky that I've never had one I'd really consider bad, and even luckier that I've got such a good one now.

My last manager (local authority) was so unsuited to her role that she was not even as good as the apprenticeship or the admin assistant and she repeatedly claimed to be overworked whilst producing virtually nothing in over a decade.

She has now retired on a huge pension after decades of not performing and preventing her team from performing so that she didn't look bad. I had to leave to protect my blood pressure.

I am in a new job with the most adorable, much younger manager who wants her team to do their best and be recognised for their achievements. They do exist!

I’ve had a few great line managers, actually.
I’ve been lucky. My current LM is excellent.

I would say that 80% of my managers have been pretty good.

The best ones have trusted me to do my job, had my back, given me feedback, offered me development and known when to just let me get on with my job or step in with support.

My last manager was amazing. She took me on because of my specialist knowledge and expertise and actually wanted to learn from me. She gave me the space to go out and research and come back with a strategy and opened the doors for me to get support for it. Incredibly supportive and trusted me to get things done. She was always there for advice and I regularly used to run ideas by her. She left (due to a power mad, nasty bully) and I ended up with new manager. He is absolutely fucking awful. He has no idea about my role, so just makes assumptions - which are always wrong. He is, by his own admission, risk averse. He doesn’t recognise that this means he tries to micro manage me and tell me how to do my job (when he has no idea). He recently went on Linked In and took the credit for a huge project that was mine.

I handed my notice in 3 weeks ago and he is that poor as a manager, he was actually shocked. I was completely honest and told him it was because of him that I was leaving and gave him numerous examples. He just can’t see it though and has no self awareness of his management style.

I can’t wait to start my new job in December and until then, I will remain professional, pass on as much info as I can, so everything I implemented can carry on and I have even introduced him to some people who would be a good replacement.

Got to a stage in my career now, where I will not tolerate working for an absolute dickhead. When I was younger, I wasn’t brave enough to stand up for myself, so did put up with 1 or 2 poor managers.

My first job was in a public sector organisation and this was definitely the case there.

People were promoted because they were good scientists but this didn't always or even usually translate to being a good manager.

Then I moved to a large private sector place and the managers were better on average.

I've had amazing managers, the one I have now is awesome.

Two stand out as memorably awful, one said his wife had "a little job" it turned out she was a SEN teacher, I literally had no respect for him after that.

And a man who sent me an email on a Friday afternoon to tell me he didn't like my "posh braying" I literally can't do anything about my voice.

I realised that many managers are simply not trained in management. They’ve just progressed upwards but have zero knowledge or theoretical understanding of people/financial or project management and what it takes regarding motivation, team cohesion, lateral planning etc. it’s a very specific skill set 🤷🏼‍♀️

I’d say 50/50 good and bad managers. 100% of the male managers I’ve had have been bad. Female managers probably 75% have been good.

I have had great bosses.

1. She gave us credit for stuff in front of Senior Team to boost our profile.
2. She would cook for us all round her house and we always had cake at her meetings.
3. She looked out for us and gave us responsibility and empowered us in our roles.

My current boss is good too. Not as many superlatives for him but he has integrity. I like that in a person.

I feel very lucky. Pretty much all of mine have been brilliant. I love my current manager.

I've had more bad than good. But a couple of fab ones. Both women.

The first was phenomenal at her job. Also a really good people person. Supportive but also firm. Senior management never gave her shit. She stood her ground. Bloody amazing.

The other wasn't as good at her job but she was incredibly supportive of her staff and held the shit management back from us and took them brunt of them herself.

I've had several managers (mostly men) who were bullies. One who used to regularly make staff cry. Another who tried to hound me out of the job and then after I'd left and was happy in my work, mocked my new job, when I bumped into him in town.

You’re completely correct. But it’s not their fault. In most cases organisations promote people into management who are totally unsuited for that aspect of their role because they’ve tended to be good at the job one level below, and / or have provided them with no training on how to mange people, which is not something they’ve done before.