LACK OF POTTY TRAINING BEFORE STARTING SCHOOL.

Thank you. Will defo keep him naked

Parenting is hard for workings families I do understand that I am one.
However, if there is no Sen or likely to be Sen there is no excuse for working two parent families to potty train their children by pre school.

Take a few days leave tag onto a bank holiday or weekend take a weeks leave.
We took a portable potty in the car, yes stopped many many times but so worth it. This was twins we were training.
Keep at it don’t say oh it’s too early not ready nonsense just patients taking the easy option IMO.

I know a few single working full times mums and they have managed it albeit more work for a single parent on there own but she wanted them to be potty trained for nursery.

Okie doke. Thank you.

Don't want to derail but go completely naked! It's called the 'oh crap' method. Mine was confused by pants at first and so did naked then very loose trousers for a few weeks before pants.

Thank you for this. My LO is toilet trained but still has some accidents (there are additional needs at play). Luckily he has a 1:1 TA who is amazing but I'm so worried about him being teased.

I think there are likely lots of reasons for delayed toilet training. Better nappies being one (nursery advised us to put something in my son's nappy to help him associate weeing in a nappy with feeling wet after our 100th failed potty training attempt-it did seem to help. Children are less inclined to care about potty training in modern nappies that are fantastic at keeping them dry and comfortable).

Less time is also a factor. I was lucky to be able to spend days at a time working with my son. That was only possible because I'm at home a lot with him anyway. If both parents work full time then a lot of potty training success is going to come down to the child themselves or how supportive childcare is (absolutely fine if you have a child that only needs you to take one week of annual leave to get them dry, or is able to do it in a weekend. Not great for reluctant children who need more time and/or go to providers that don't offer much support in potty training).

Not all SEN is diagnosed by school age. Some of the children starring school without being potty trained likely have undiagnosed needs. Many are absolutely able to attend a mainstream school, they may just need additional help and support to do so.

Lack of support is probably also an issue. The people who used to be able to access things like sure start still need support. There just doesn't seem to be much support available now.

I don't think pure laziness is the issue much of the time (surely you'd want your child out of nappies as quickly as possible if you're lazy? Life is much easier once they can take themselves to the toilet!).

I don't think parents should be fined either. My point was that the mother of this child had not tried at all because of his CP but there was no actual reason why not. That wouldn't be the case for every child with CP obviously.

I had three children in my last Reception class before retirement who were in nappies and I only had a part-time TA. They may have turned out to have had SEN but the parents hadn't even started a process of diagnosis. They were eventually allocated TA support.

No pants, pants and trousers free for at least 2 full days or until you see any amount of tiny progress. Then baggy trousers, then pants when more trained.
Pants feel like nappies which isnt at all helpful.

Lack of potty training is not area specific…..😆🤦🏼‍♀️ Just because YOU haven’t seen it (how would you see it unless you know every parent of a toddler in your area?!) doesn’t mean it’s not happening!

I'm going to give it one more go as my front room carpet is getting cleaned in a week. I'll stick him in pants. If no success will speak to hv. Got 3 under 4 single parent. So finding the time hasn't been easy.

I wondered the same we get maybe 2 or 3. I do wonder if it's including wiping own bums as we certainly have a big chunk that can't do that.

No matter what level of toilet training and school readiness teaching you think a nursery should provide - it's a fighting battle. Children come back from the weekend or holidays: back in nappies, ramming food in with their fingers, crying when you suggest they do their own coat...

My son has 1:2 TA support and needs to be changed often at school. He is one of the obvious ones where it would be easy to get medical evidence that he is incontinent but that isn't always the case, especially when they are only 4.

That's why I don't agree with fining parents of children who aren't potty trained.

Who are you getting to help you?

My sons nearly 3.5yr old. Not ready yet. I have tried

I had 2 children who literally didn't give a shit about toilet training - they were not influenced by peers, didn't care about 'big girl/boy pants' and both of them required months of training. I remember one particularly bad day, 2 weeks into training my DD when she went through every pair of bottoms that we owned (we could no longer stay in the house and had an event to attend, hence the memory).

Both children were summer born, so started school very soon after turning 4, and both children had accidents well into Reception and Y1.

It wasn't through lack of motivation or bad parenting or working FT (I was working PT then). It was down to them just not being interested. I'm sure they're not the only ones.

FWIW they are now adults at University, so they came good in the end.

"I down load and screen shot medical data from the NHS notes for my [SEN] kids and their school/college/uni admin all the time. "

Some GPs don't put that information on the NHS app. My GP doesn't for children or adults.

Can anyone say who the op is referring to when she says 'he in her post'?

Potty training is hard work and has to be consistent for it to work. I have to book 2 week off work to do it. Some parents like my brother are too lazy, and expect the nursery/school to do it, even though they're in nappies when they get home! Lazy parenting for sure.

I'm not disputing that it was normal back then (I'm not old enough to remember!). Just that people similar to me in age -within 10 years or so- who claim to have potty trained at an earlier age are often talking (literal) shite 😅

I do think modern nappies are too 'effective' and cheap. I put kitchen towel in my DCs nappies the week before training to encourage them- none of them would ever tell me they needed changing- they just didn't feel it as nappies are so absorbent and wick the moisture away from the skin! And 30+ nappies for a couple of quid from Aldi mean that cost isn't really an issue.

Who is op referring to?

You took annual leave, some parents won't do that.

My children did not have multiple accidents a day, neither did their peers. Believe it, or not, 30 years ago it was the norm for children to be dry around the age of 2.

I dont understand why parents would keep on paying out money for nappies instead of potty training their kids. I relieved to have extra money in my pocket when mine came out of nappies. What I also fail to understand is that surely a child of school age, barring disabilities, must recognise the need the use the toilet, rather than just sitting there and doing it in their pants. Am I missing something here?

In this case, the parent should talk to school so they are aware there is on-going problem. They might be able you allocate extra staff. I once had a child with cerebral palsy in my class, he had his own TA anyway because of his problems. His mother hadn't tried to toilet train him because of the CP but it only took the TA a couple of weeks although he always needed support. In his case there was no reason not to do it.

I have a significantly autistic child who’s just gone into mainstream year one in pull ups. They have an EHCP and funding for close 1:1 or 2:1 support throughout the school day. There are guidelines on who/how/where for the staff to support with toileting needs. My child is thriving in the mainstream setting. In the most part the comments are not aimed at children with special needs, however I’ve seen some very ignorant comments - one said children like mine shouldn’t be allowed in a mainstream school, another said that their whole reception class even the child with special needs was toilet trained. Please don’t assume you know what is best for every child with disabilities by generalising as you know (probably very little) about one individual.