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LACK OF POTTY TRAINING BEFORE STARTING SCHOOL.

262 replies

DARNLY · 30/09/2025 08:22

I think he is just trying to make a general point that many children (not specific children with various health issues such as prematurity, of course they should have extra support and help). are turning up to school at the ages of 4/5 not potty trained at all. Parents surely must take some responsibility for this. 1 teacher, 30 plus children with what appears to be levels of up to half the classes not potty trained. This is an impossible situation for the teacher, disruptive for education and difficult to time manage and not good for the child. Along with issues of an increasing lack of discipline in some very young children, teachers are leaving in their droves, we are in crisis. They are teachers not parents and do a fine job caring for our little ones in exceptional difficult circumstances these days. I was a working midwife and mother of 3 children. It was expected among parents of reception classes to try to ensure children were potty trained Potty training surely is a parents responsibility not a teachers. I don't remember any child in any class not being potty trained or virtually there. A busy state school with 30 plus in the class.

OP posts:
incognitomummy · 01/10/2025 00:31

Livpool · 30/09/2025 16:59

This is such a lazy attitude! It is a job for the parents

If a child is in nursery 8-6 on 5 days a week then potty training is a job to be shared between parents and nursery. This is a fact of life for families with 2 working parents.

if nurseries cannot or will not get involved then they should not be running a childcare facility.

Kirbert2 · 30/09/2025 23:13

BertieBotts · 30/09/2025 23:08

They probably want to put them in prison. The children can go into a fun boot camp run by childminders and entertainers, where they get potty trained and taught to use cutlery and ship shape ready for school and the bill gets sent back to the parents when they come out of jail.

To be honest, that wouldn't surprise me with some of the suggestions on here.

BertieBotts · 30/09/2025 23:08

Kirbert2 · 30/09/2025 18:49

What do you mean by meaningful sanction?

They probably want to put them in prison. The children can go into a fun boot camp run by childminders and entertainers, where they get potty trained and taught to use cutlery and ship shape ready for school and the bill gets sent back to the parents when they come out of jail.

Allswellthatendswelll · 30/09/2025 22:59

This reply has been deleted

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I've actually reported this as I think it's in such bad taste.

Allswellthatendswelll · 30/09/2025 22:57

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 30/09/2025 18:52

Maybe we should live in a society that didn’t require both parents to work to afford to live. Then women would have lots of time to ensure the milestones of their children are all hit.

I think you mean parents.

PassportPhotosAreHorrific · 30/09/2025 21:27

DARNLY · 30/09/2025 08:22

I think he is just trying to make a general point that many children (not specific children with various health issues such as prematurity, of course they should have extra support and help). are turning up to school at the ages of 4/5 not potty trained at all. Parents surely must take some responsibility for this. 1 teacher, 30 plus children with what appears to be levels of up to half the classes not potty trained. This is an impossible situation for the teacher, disruptive for education and difficult to time manage and not good for the child. Along with issues of an increasing lack of discipline in some very young children, teachers are leaving in their droves, we are in crisis. They are teachers not parents and do a fine job caring for our little ones in exceptional difficult circumstances these days. I was a working midwife and mother of 3 children. It was expected among parents of reception classes to try to ensure children were potty trained Potty training surely is a parents responsibility not a teachers. I don't remember any child in any class not being potty trained or virtually there. A busy state school with 30 plus in the class.

Who is he?

WoodenBoat80 · 30/09/2025 21:24

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Jesus I think that’s abit of a stretch.

mxd · 30/09/2025 21:23

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It's not too late to delete this

OneAmusedShark · 30/09/2025 21:21

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TwilightAb · 30/09/2025 20:02

CaptainMyCaptain · 30/09/2025 19:42

I was a working single parent and I managed.

Me too but lets not let that get in the way of some good old working Mum bashing.

Zanatdy · 30/09/2025 19:44

When my eldest was little you could start playgroup at 2.5yrs old, but had to be potty trained. So many did it for that, which meant were trained ready for school nursery at 3, and then reception at 4.

mxd · 30/09/2025 19:42

The readiness thing is a load of rubbish. T Berry Brazelton has clear ties with Pampers/P&G

CaptainMyCaptain · 30/09/2025 19:42

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 30/09/2025 18:52

Maybe we should live in a society that didn’t require both parents to work to afford to live. Then women would have lots of time to ensure the milestones of their children are all hit.

I was a working single parent and I managed.

NewsdeskJC · 30/09/2025 19:13

Dgd has just started school. Bog standard primary in the east Midlands. She was trained by 3 and went to nursery. So far no evidence of others in nappies. Is this "trend" actually documented anywhere?

WoodenBoat80 · 30/09/2025 19:07

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 30/09/2025 18:52

Maybe we should live in a society that didn’t require both parents to work to afford to live. Then women would have lots of time to ensure the milestones of their children are all hit.

Parents can’t drop the responsibility of teaching their children the basics because they have to work.
Why do you think it is that 20 years ago a child starting reception in nappies was unheard of? Do you think toddlers were smarter in previous generations, or that children weren’t put into a nursery because their parents were at work, because they definitely were.
From my experience there has been a parental shift of responsibility.. We’re to busy so someone else should be responsible. Or this weird idea that children will let you know when they’re ready, an idea that’s clearly not working out well for the children involved.

mxd · 30/09/2025 18:59

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 30/09/2025 18:52

Maybe we should live in a society that didn’t require both parents to work to afford to live. Then women would have lots of time to ensure the milestones of their children are all hit.

Women would have the time? Or parents?

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 30/09/2025 18:52

Maybe we should live in a society that didn’t require both parents to work to afford to live. Then women would have lots of time to ensure the milestones of their children are all hit.

Kirbert2 · 30/09/2025 18:49

LlynTegid · 30/09/2025 18:43

Agreeing with the comments that having to wash nappies was an incentive.

Lazy parents should not be fined, there should be a meaningful sanction. Including absent dads.

What do you mean by meaningful sanction?

LlynTegid · 30/09/2025 18:43

Agreeing with the comments that having to wash nappies was an incentive.

Lazy parents should not be fined, there should be a meaningful sanction. Including absent dads.

mxd · 30/09/2025 18:35

Btowngirl · 30/09/2025 17:42

Obviously everyone has unique situations. But we are cloth nappy users and have attempted potty training DD 3 times. This latest attempt we have been doing since April and she is still not reliably dry, luckily she is an October baby so doesn’t start school until next September otherwise she would be one of the children everyone thinks has lazy parents.

She hasn’t worn a nappy in 5 months so I am just washing clothes instead of cloth nappies. Things are getting better but we are certainly not lazy, it’s actually giving me sleepless nights and anxiety about how I am failing as a parent and how not to pass this anxiety down to DD.

She will happily use the potty but also happily her pants too and wouldn’t always flag being wet. I’ve raised it with HV’s who said it’s normal and they wouldn’t even consider a referral until she is over 4. Consequently we go out with 3 spare changes of clothes and have been lugging a potty around for months, another bone of contention as MN hates seeing people with potties too. It’s exhausting.

Sounds like you need a potty training reset instead of plugging away in this semi-trained state.

CaptainMyCaptain · 30/09/2025 18:20

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 30/09/2025 16:44

IMO it’s a massive factor.

If mothers* still had to wash and dry a load of nappies every day, I doubt there would be many people saying that their 3+ year old ‘still isn’t ready’.

*because it nearly always IS mothers, isn’t it?

It's a massive factor but 'waiting (forever) until they're ready' plays a part too.

Btowngirl · 30/09/2025 17:42

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 30/09/2025 16:44

IMO it’s a massive factor.

If mothers* still had to wash and dry a load of nappies every day, I doubt there would be many people saying that their 3+ year old ‘still isn’t ready’.

*because it nearly always IS mothers, isn’t it?

Obviously everyone has unique situations. But we are cloth nappy users and have attempted potty training DD 3 times. This latest attempt we have been doing since April and she is still not reliably dry, luckily she is an October baby so doesn’t start school until next September otherwise she would be one of the children everyone thinks has lazy parents.

She hasn’t worn a nappy in 5 months so I am just washing clothes instead of cloth nappies. Things are getting better but we are certainly not lazy, it’s actually giving me sleepless nights and anxiety about how I am failing as a parent and how not to pass this anxiety down to DD.

She will happily use the potty but also happily her pants too and wouldn’t always flag being wet. I’ve raised it with HV’s who said it’s normal and they wouldn’t even consider a referral until she is over 4. Consequently we go out with 3 spare changes of clothes and have been lugging a potty around for months, another bone of contention as MN hates seeing people with potties too. It’s exhausting.

AliciaLeeming · 30/09/2025 17:03

Mine had to be clean and dry during the day before they were even allowed to start at playgroup.

BreatheAndFocus · 30/09/2025 17:03

CaptainMyCaptain · 30/09/2025 15:58

Another poster said teachers weren't allowed to do it.

Teachers are allowed to change nappies and support clothes changing, but ideally a TA will be free to do it. However, with intimate care, we have to have two adults present (as a protection). When you have a Reception class, a number of whom haven’t been toilet-trained, then it’s all hands on deck, as well as supervising the other children, of course.

Livpool · 30/09/2025 16:59

EmeraldShamrock000 · 30/09/2025 09:34

Children in FT nursery should be supported through training, the staff have to change the children's nappies so I don't see why they won't train the children to use the toilet, they get paid enough, yes there will be spills, I'm sure there is many spills in nursery anyways.

This is such a lazy attitude! It is a job for the parents

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