LACK OF POTTY TRAINING BEFORE STARTING SCHOOL.

We both work FT ds was in nursery at 1 and out of nappies just after his second birthday. Working isn't an excuse

Ds is in a class of 30 and the only two not toilet trained fully at the start of reception were two boys who visibly have fairly significant additional needs. The catchment for the school is urban and very mixed about 38% pp. Are others actually seeing lots of children who aren't toilet trained by rising 5? As that hasn't been our experience

The advice changed. It went from ‘this is the age to start’ to ‘at this age your child may show signs of being ready’

It always baffles me when people use having two working parents as an excuse, I worked in private day nurseries 15-20 years ago and the kids almost always had two working parents, I can only ever remember one or two of them getting to 3 without being potty trained, it was very rare.

The age for potty training has become noticeably older over the past 5yrs (I’ve run toddler groups for 10). When I started it was on average around 2yrs but now it’s 3-4yrs. I personally believe it’s because the amount of families with not only both parents working full time has increased but also the amount being put in nursery as opposed to with grandparents has increased.

How have parents dropped the ball so spectacularly on this?

Everyone knows potty training is a thing children learn.

Many children are in childcare, and I know nurseries (hopefully more than not) are encouraging of potty training, as they often prepare children for primary school AND it makes their jobs easier.

Most people have friends or family members with older children, so likely discuss child development and share information on the 'hows, whats and whens'.

And finally, schools sent you the paper a few months before starting with the list of things children should be able to do independently before starting.

Doesn't this happen anymore or do folks just choose not to engage with any of the help or advice?

And the nappy lobby pushing the narrative that it’s better to wait until the kid basically walks up to you and demands to use a toilet. Nappy companies sponsored healthcare leaflets and funded studies about the idea of ‘readiness’ to dissuade parents from potty training earlier. 18mo-2yrs was the norm until the mid 20th century.

Children in FT nursery should be supported through training, the staff have to change the children's nappies so I don't see why they won't train the children to use the toilet, they get paid enough, yes there will be spills, I'm sure there is many spills in nursery anyways.

Gosh really? 🙄Still a fully qualified teacher doing a thing she shouldn't have to, and an example of the same vibe.

Where is the parent's support? We used to have children's centres the Conservative government got rid of them now we have issues with potty training has no-one connected the dots?

I had my children during a Conservative government, before SureStart centres and the like. I was a military wife living hundreds of miles away from my family and really quite isolated, but guess what? DS1 was toilet trained before he was 2 and DS2 was a couple of months after his second birthday.

Back then children couldn’t go to preschool if they were in nappies so we all made sure they weren’t, and they could start when they were 2 and a half. It was really rare for a NT child to still be in nappies at 3.

DGS is 21mths old. He’s started to do wees on the potty when he gets up in the morning and before bed. Sometimes during the day he will say he needs a wee too. He’s not reliable, yet, but I can’t see him being in nappies at 3 tbh, and both his parents work. Too many parents make excuses. If you have children, potty training is part of the deal so if you work you need to take annual leave to sort it out if necessary.

Special needs excepting you shouldn't send a child to reception if they aren't toilet trained! Accidents in school are one thing, but not being potty trained by 4 is ridiculous.

It is important, it is time consuming, disposal nappies are horrendous for the environment, they delay toilet training too.
Children were trained much early when nappies were washed, definitely when they were hand washed.
Children are more than capable before 3.
Extra needs aside.

I’m amazed that people can afford the nappies.

I think this is a big factor but not the only one.

I think modern disposable nappies don't help. Too easy for the parents and the kids don't feel wet.

Well except, like the kids with untreated nits, it's really important these kids ARE in school.

TBH they need to bring back the rule that NT children must be out of nappies before starting reception.
But I doubt they ever will, since that would be discriminating against lazy parents who just can’t be arsed.

You should have them potty trained before 3 latest. I had mine done before they started nursery which was 3. Took annual leave to do it.

OR if they are accepted into school, there needs to be a parental contract where they promise fo come in 2-3 times a day to change nappy. If they don’t , neglect and social services intervention…. Not teachers picking up slack. Absolutely should not be teachers or schools responsibility.

I was a Nursery Teacher for 17 years and it was definitely part of the school. We used to expect children to be toilet trained but it changed in the late 90s.

I honestly think they shouldn’t be allowed into a mainstream primary if not potty trained - it would certainly push people to actually do it!!
Or of course, a specialist school which would likely suit their needs more all round if the reason is additional needs. (And yes there would need to be more provision for this first).

What I don't get about these threads is everyone bores on about how they trained at 18 months, lazy modern parents these days etc but we are talking about 4 year olds. Surely as long as they are trained a reasonable time before school it doesn't matter if it's at 2 or 3 + ? As long as they are fine in school.

Nursery isn't school.

This has been done to death agree.

DS is toilet trained, no issues at preschool but has just started and has had a few accidents in reception, as have a lot of the kids. None in nappies. Having a slight regression very normal with change.

At the school I teach in only one child in nappies and that's obvious SEN .

Where is the parent's support? We used to have children's centres the Conservative government got rid of them now we have issues with potty training has no-one connected the dots?

Plus you now need two working parent's to survive its really hard to potty train a child over various settings i had to train ds3 over nursery (fine) being with grandad (fine) home (fine) and dad's house (not fine they shoved him in nappy to make it easier for themselves) it took MONTHS to crack properly because I was being undermined because he didn't understand due to sen we got through it but it was bloody hard work