To live in bigger house but DC will have much longer school commute

I have no regrets doing this exact thing. Yes the early mornings were a pain but it was the right answer for DD. Longer school holidays = decent respite from it.

I'm already spending 2 hours driving my teens to school every day, and that's a half hour journey. I wouldn't fancy 45 minutes unless there was really no alternative.

You're going to get very different answers here as in England Private school is unbelievably expensive. Im not sure what it is like in Australia.

Im in NI. My parents chose to send us to Private primary school over moving. Our local primary had massive classes, 40+ pupils in the late 80s. Told my parents I was stupid, I wasnt. My sibling had severe dyslexia which was known about back then but the school "refused" to teach her.
Private schooling here isn't overly expensive, and tends just to exist for primary school.

My parents were ignored by their previous good friends. We were the "snobs"
Their community fell apart. We were no longer allowed to be.played with by other children on the street by their parents.

At school we were poor, we disnt have the right social cues. My parents weren't professionals. My parents were young compared to most of the others and it was difficult to fit in.
But we had an excellent education.
My parents eventually moved once we went to a non private (there is only 1 in NI anyway) grammar school.

Where we live now my DS travels almost an hour with traffic to school. Its only 7 miles away but with public transport it takes almost an hour door to door. Even if we take him its about 45 to 50 mins. He still has friends both from school who he will see outside school and from home who he went to PS with around the corner

If I had more money I wouldn't move as our community is brilliant. I hope that you have better friends than my parents did.
And just be aware that it is difficult to be a "poorer" child in a private school, even if that private school is only 4k a year not 40k plus

What school is the right for the private school or the school you could move to? Getting that right is key and you now have the money to do so

One thing I would say is when you have teens and they need to be at school at 8.30am…a 45 minute commute in traffic (it could it be more!) becomes a real pain for them (and you if driving). It’s wasted time, they could be sleeping or doing homework etc.

My DD is at private school 20 mins drive away. In rush hour that’s often 40 mins. We have to leave at 7.40am at the very latest to get there by car, by bus she’s leaving home at 7.15am. It’s hard for 13-15 year olds who really want their sleep! I would consider this in your decision making. Also if it’s 45 mins away, your kids will not have friends locally I assume so you’ll be driving all over at weekends.

i do this myself and it’s just 20 mins away (and it’s been worth it for fantastic schooling) but it is something to consider…

I have a totally different take for you to consider….

Depending on the value of inheritance.

The amount of money you’d be spending on private education, can you invest for each of them so it makes more money and they stay in their existing area and just go to the available state school?

This was it’s not costing you more, you earn more and instead invest in helping them on the property ladder?

We can spend a fortune on education but it doesn’t guarantee a well paying job, which ultimately people work to get on property ladder anyway?

By giving them a help on the property ladder it also means they can do a job they love not slave after in order to get a house.

Im with your husband. The maths would make me feel sick.

Compare the school results of the better areas to the private school - just how much better are they? Are they 1/4 million pounds better.

Add up the cost of private school for 7 years. Average 18k a year - that’s probably low too as they’ll be price increases. So that’s 126k.. assume you’d upped the mortgage by that much instead. The house in the nicer area is highly likely to have increased in value by 125k after 7 years. How much would all that extra equity help your son out in other ways.

How will your son feel having no local friends once he’s older and wants to socialise?

Also consider, are you definitely not having another child? As in, what if you did and the. Had to pay for both to be privately educated. Even if you do only have your son to consider, really do your research in the results of the schools. Is it worth that much money, or would your son do similar at a local school in a nicer areas… could you use the money instead to fund a fabulous university and PHD perhaps.
Some children will do well wherever, so long as the school isn’t terrible.

Yes there’s a lot to be said for feeling part of a community, but those areas with the nicer schools likely have that too.

My DDs have a 1 hour commute (15 year old) and a 30 minute commute, but a 1 hour round-trip for me (10 year old). Their closest friends are still their old local primary school friends. I've said for a while that we'd move close to the eldest's secondary school if we won the lottery. I'm not 100% sure we'd even do that as we are settled in our community. They both have some after school activities locally, that also keep them connected to local friends.

I'm not sure what the difference is like in your area, but the difference between independent and state schools in our area is stark. Whilst my DDs wouldn't do badly at state schools, I think they wouldn't be as happy, engaged and have anything like the extra curricular opportunities they have at their independent schools.

It’s common for the kids to travel a way for independent schools, however few things to consider with the distance from school, Will you be driving your child to school? We have a 40min commute each way to school, so I’m driving for about 2hrs 40mins roughy each day on the school run. None of DC friends are local so meeting up has to be managed, after school events might start later than end of day so do you hang around or go home & travel back. The days longer obviously so eats into homework time. Can you/ DC manage that kind of thing long term? It can be done just think of the practical side.

I agree.
We are urban and I could pick mine up and be home in 10 minutes. They like the decompress with friends after school.
They do like a lift innthe morning though.

In this case wouldn't be moving.

It took me well over an hour to commute to my state school (decent walk to bus stop, long bus journey, long walk to school) and everyone in my area did it. It was fine and nobody thought twice about it.

If your children are at primary school you may find those friends fall away when children go to high school. I would caution about buying a house based on a friendship group.

@letsgoforadip I was coming on here to say more or less the same as the poster I am quoting above

As you say you have a moderate inheritance and also that moving to the better area won't allow you to also buy a bigger house there, it doesn't sound like the inheritance will be anything like enough to also fund a Private school - or were you budgeting on doing that anyway, before the inheritance?

Plus - how old is/are your DC? That' is entirely relevant to your question. Answers may very well vary, depending whether you have a DC moving to Secondary School next year or whether they have not long started school?

Are you able to extend your current property?

Nothing wrong with getting used to a longer commute if required. You don't need to baby your kids. Mine was 90 mins each way. My child's commute by bus is 60 mins each way. He's fine with it.

If you like your area stay there. It's stupid to move for a temporary reason like school because that really is very short term.
Also does your kid not get a say in this? What do they think about moving school? Or to a place with no friends?
You might be better off saving the cash for a bigger house where you are and topping up the existing education with extras like music, sports, arts and tutors and so on.

I would stay where you have the support network. The secondary schools could change and improve and then others go downhill.

I wouldn’t want to move as it’s taken me years to build a network of friends locally. I was a teacher so never at the school gate to get that support

What's the rush to spend it? Why don't you bump up your pension and have retire early?

If you spend the money on a house you could potentially get it back if you sell. If you spend it on private school it’s gone forever!

I think you need to decide what your top priority is (house, school, community) and use that to anchor your decision. For me, education would be the priority. I would look at all the potential schools and work out which was the best fit for my DC. This does not necessarily always mean private. If the house matters most, the school is secondary and has to fit around that. Community is hugely important, but you can move and rebuild a nice community. If you live next door to your nan and opposite your best friend I wouldn’t move. If it’s a looser sort of community that you can rebuild elsewhere, I would.

And I wouldn’t want (wouldn’t do) a 45 minute commute, FWIW.
Kids are totally different to us. Especially at seniors age, where the opportunity to watch endless videos is welcomed!

It really won’t be, it’ll be the norm.
My kids had a (minimum of) 1h door to door commute their whole school lives and it totally doesn’t phase them.
As an adult looking at it, it’s hard because you think ‘oh hell no - I would hate it’. But they sit and chat/do homework/social media and honestly I don’t know any of the kids who find it difficult at all.