To be disappointed with proposal?

@Carys1806 a different perspective from me (giving him the benefit of the doubt) is that perhaps he felt awkward about it. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you but some men just don’t like or aren’t able to express themselves romantically very well and so maybe he was only able to approach it this way. You said yourself that this ‘jokiness’ is not characteristic of him.

If he’s otherwise a good guy then perhaps this is one to just suck up. Congrats on the engagement btw 🙂

Sounds like you aren’t living in the real world and he is immature and if you think others are interested in story’s of proposals they really aren’t.

So why is the OP complaining about there being no speech.

They both sound immature.

Men cant get it right can they op i think it was sweet nothing big planned but he tried.

My auntie got a ring in a box uncle gave it to her, he said here if you want pop it on if not ill try next year, 44 year married.

My sister her husband had a hoop in his ear he put the ring on it to see how long it took her to notice it.
He had longish hair at the time 21years married.

My nan grandad stuck the ring to the top the loo lid and left it up (she hated that)
She banged it down and saw the the ring with a note Marry me if your not angry.
They both passed within weeks of each other 62 years together.

My friend had a full on show it magical family friends flowers just amazing he said all the things you want to hear just wow.
She caught him in her bed with her own sister 5 weeks before the wedding.
Didnt go well.

I was prepared to say you’re not unreasonable, because I guess you can imagine a situation and no matter how nice your partners plan is, maybe it would never quite be like you imagined.

But this is way out there. He sounds like an idiot.

It’s all a bit strange.

God I hate practical jokes. Have you asked him why he didn’t just ask you in a nice normal way? Especially if he’s not normally like that!

I don’t blame you for being a bit gutted he’s treated the whole thing like a prank.

I suppose you either want to marry a 40something going on 11 who thinks of a proposal as something off Daily Dose of Internet, or you don’t.

Does he often mis-judge things?
Was all this just a symptom of his nerves?

Not sure why so many bitchy comments aimed at the op.

OP I’d be a bit miffed too, it all sounds a bit insincere.

You both sound well suited.

Yep me too.

Married 34 years and thank goodness that these poor young men don't stand a chance.
Years ago was so much more romantic and intimate.
One of my sons had to basically plan the most ridiculous proposal ever and I am sure he was very stressed and the ring had to be very over the top and cost a fortune.
That's life and I accept things change.
I think he did a good job.

Congratulations on your engagement, but agree with you that is a shite proposal / the fake small ring was a stupid idea and I’m not surprised it has put a dampener on things.

I don’t know what comes over people sometimes. I had an ex say that he was planning to propose whilst I was doing circuits to build up strength as part of martial arts training. NONE of those things are my bag and I can’t believe it even crossed his mind to do it that way even if I had been a fitness enthusiast, but he was so proud of himself that he told me all about it…

He was probably trying to make it memorable, was a bit clumsy and it backfired. It boils down to whether you want to marry him or not.

Yes, agreed.

OP, this would have put me off him - as simple as that. In fact I think I’d want to give him the ring back and tell him that his proposal was awful, frankly. If he still wants to marry me, he can do it properly. It is not a time for mucking around. What a prat.

Wow, so many mumsnetters with no standards at all… guess it explains all the posts asking why their husbands are so selfish/lazy/thoughtless 🙄

OF COURSE you are not being unreasonable OP! That was a shite proposal. He didn’t need to write a sonnet but a simple “I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you, will you marry me?” would do the trick. I’m sorry your partner is so immature. Perhaps you should re-think your hasty acceptance?

Yeh I'm not sure I like the sound of him OP! Talk about making a proposal something to tell his mates down the pub. Tell him he needs to propose again properly or you're not sure you can be arsed.

You have no problems

he sounds very odd. Have you told him you’re upset? How did he react?

Just say no. It's called a question for a reason.

You'll probably do him a favour in the long run.

You both sound a bit immature, IMO.

40s? I hope he has given you a heartfelt apology and said something meaningful about why he wants to spend the rest of his life with you

his plan originally was to play a joke on me by proposing with a fake ring (that he deliberately brought too small) and drop the ring from the balcony, then give me the real one the next day

I could never marry an 11 year old boy

Thank goodness option A didn’t work out! Very odd way of proposing. How’s he been the rest of the trip?