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AIBU?

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School withholding snack as punishment?

295 replies

cjs99x · 29/09/2025 17:44

Hi all,

I wanted your opinion on something that’s happened today at school. For context - in my son’s class they have a morning snack (during juice/milk time on the carpet), lunch time (in the dinner hall) & afternoon snack (outside on the playground).

Today my 5 year old DS was kept inside for afternoon break time as he and another boy had a fight. My son getting into trouble at school is a very rare occurrence and that particular situation has been sorted out.

My concern is that, because he was kept inside for afternoon break time, he was told he wasn’t allowed to have his afternoon snack. All the children in the class was able to have their snack outside as usual, and he was told he wasn’t allowed as part of a consequence of missing his playtime. I mean keeping him inside as a consequence is fair enough, but not allowing him his food that I’ve packed?

I have briefly heard another parent mention something like this before but I wasn’t part of the conversation so I didn’t hear the full story. Obviously my son may be mixed up but he was really upset when he came out saying he was really hungry and is usually accurate when explaining things (even if it means he’ll be in trouble).

Am I being too sensitive here or is this just a very odd punishment for a 5 year old child? I just can’t see how the school is able to withhold a child’s food from them.

I will be speaking to this teacher tomorrow but I guess I’m just wondering if this a normal thing that happens in schools? He’s my only child so this is all knew to me but it just seems extreme Confused

OP posts:
Outside9 · 29/09/2025 22:26

Bananaandmangosmoothie · 29/09/2025 21:44

Such a weird response.

Such a pointless response.

Goldbar · 29/09/2025 22:24

Some weird responses on here. All kids have their moments.

katepilar · 29/09/2025 22:22

Denying a 5yo a break to be outside and denying him a snack is just exercise of power. It doesnt teach the child anything, more over if he just reacted to being pushed. The school should be teaching the children how to navigate social interactions. This was just demostration of power.

WhattheFudgeareyouonabout · 29/09/2025 22:17

PistachioTiramisu · 29/09/2025 19:12

Why do these bloody kids need a 'snack' several times a day? We never had 'snacks' at school - you had breakfast at home, milk and a biscuit for elevenses, school lunch and that was it until you got home. You might have a slice of toast at 5 but dinner was not until at least 7. We survived.

Well aren’t you charming.

HughGrantsfurrysquirrel · 29/09/2025 22:07

Confusdworriedmum · 29/09/2025 22:05

Very unlikely as a one off to cause issues with food. Bit of an overreaction.

Well, we don't know though do we?!

HughGrantsfurrysquirrel · 29/09/2025 22:06

Oh for crying out loud!
OP bought the snack with HER money for HER child. End of. No teacher has the right to withhold it.
The only punishment that should've taken place was to keep him inside.
No of course he won't starve, but that is really beside the point.
OP please ensure you are firm, but fair in communicating this must never happen again.

Confusdworriedmum · 29/09/2025 22:05

OneFootintheHedgehog · 29/09/2025 18:15

I don’t think k he’s being starved or anything so YABU the, but I don’t like the idea of a snack being a reward or punishment. It could lead to issues with food on some kids.

Very unlikely as a one off to cause issues with food. Bit of an overreaction.

SpiritedFlame · 29/09/2025 22:01

cjs99x · 29/09/2025 17:55

All of the schools in my area have afternoon snacks for reception and year 1 as their lunch time is quite early (11:30/11:45). It’s just what he’s used to so I guess for him he was hungry come afternoon time. But fair enough.

Yes similar here. They don't have a morning snack but they do have lunch at 11.25 and if the afternoon snack was missed (only once due to something outside their control), my child was hungry.

So I hear this point. In an older child or a later lunch, maybe it's different but I can understand your child may have been genuinely hungry.

WatchThisGladys · 29/09/2025 21:46

cjs99x · 29/09/2025 18:29

I just don’t see food as a reward or a punishment. It’s simply food that the children expect and eat at a set time each day.

Completely agree. I think that the use of food to reward and punish children must be one of the reasons that so many adults have an unhealthy relationship with food. Hence the number of overweight adults who comfort eat when unhappy or stressed.

And yes, I would want to speak to the school, not so much about this one incident, but about their general policy of withdrawing snacks as a sanction. I don't care if it makes me That Parent.

IneedtheeohIneedtheeeveryhourIneedthee · 29/09/2025 21:46

cjs99x · 29/09/2025 20:33

Anywaaaays. This has been a pleasure. It’s a shame that people can’t just have a normal conversation nowadays without judgements and insults. I definitely see what people mean about asking advice on mumsnet 🤣 goooodnight 🫶🏼

Threads about badly behaved children rarely go well OP.
But it sounds like you have seen that going into school would make you look like a twat. The issue has been dealt with - tomorrow is another day!

Bananaandmangosmoothie · 29/09/2025 21:44

Outside9 · 29/09/2025 21:30

I don't care about you or your child

Such a weird response.

Bananaandmangosmoothie · 29/09/2025 21:43

I haven’t come across afternoon snacks at schools generally. It’s one time and, if as you say your child doesn’t get into trouble very often, I wouldn’t lose sleep over it.

Oaktreet · 29/09/2025 21:40

hoarahloux · 29/09/2025 17:54

Withholding food should never be used as punishment. Looks like I'm in the minority but I don't agree with this punishment at all.

I don't agree with it either. I'm not horrified by it because they've had lunch but I think staying indoors was punishment enough and don't think depriving food should be part of any punishment.

CaptainMyCaptain · 29/09/2025 21:37

Happygolucky314 · 29/09/2025 20:08

Well if lunch was at 12 and they aren’t getting home till 3:30/4pm then their dinner might not be til 5pm so yes they do need a snack which could be at 2:30pm at school and it was fully provided by the parent so who are they to say he shouldn’t eat it. Schools try and have too much control over children they didn’t birth

Well teachers on the thread (I am one) seem to think it's unacceptable to punish children this age by withholding food or outside play.

SRK16 · 29/09/2025 21:34

I don’t think it’s okay, and am also opposed to removing breaks as a punishment for young children, it’s really harsh.

WatchThisGladys · 29/09/2025 21:32

I disagree with this as a punishment. Missing playtime is fair. Missing the snack isn't. Many posters seem to think that snack = treat but they're not supposed to be the same thing. At school, a snack is normally something healthy like a piece of fruit, intended to tide the child over until their next meal. School is physically and mentally tiring.

I think the school have put themselves in the wrong by doing this, which undermines the lesson they were trying to teach about fighting.

Outside9 · 29/09/2025 21:30

usedtobeaylis · 29/09/2025 20:58

It's the weirdest thing but I have managed so far to raise a pretty well behaved child without withholding food, play, affection and without raising my hands to her. Insane right.

I don't care about you or your child

SerendipityDiamond · 29/09/2025 21:26

I would ask what happened.
i think the point isn’t that he can manage without a snack, it’s whether food is being used as a treat or removed as a punishment.

Chances are it’s no big deal but I would want to know the rules.

AhBiscuits · 29/09/2025 21:25

I don't agree with withholding food as a punishment. But that said, my school don't do afternoon snack. Lunch at 12:30 and home at 3:15, not sure it's needed.

AutumnCosy2025 · 29/09/2025 21:24

cabbageking · 29/09/2025 21:18

Have a conversation and find out what the fight was over, in case it was linked to the snack.

If you'd read the OP's posts, you wouldn't have needed to post this.

AutumnCosy2025 · 29/09/2025 21:23

cjs99x · 29/09/2025 20:33

Anywaaaays. This has been a pleasure. It’s a shame that people can’t just have a normal conversation nowadays without judgements and insults. I definitely see what people mean about asking advice on mumsnet 🤣 goooodnight 🫶🏼

let us know how you get on tomorrow xx

give your violent offender an extra hug on your way to bed!

notacooldad · 29/09/2025 21:20

Even prisoners get fed. 🙄
Behave!
It was a snack. Presumably you gave hom breakfast and he would have had his dinner at lunch time.
The have not withheld a meal which would have been an issue, but not a snack.

My kids ( and as far as I remember their class mates ) never had snacks between meals . They functioned perfectly well with a balanced breakfast that wasn't shit in a box like cocopops or similar and a decent meal at lunch time.
I would think theres no need for snacks for the majority of children as long as there is no medical need.

AutumnCosy2025 · 29/09/2025 21:19

Thortour · 29/09/2025 20:17

I wouldn’t want my child in a class with a 5yo who fights.
If one of my children had been fighting the very last thing I would have cared about is if they had had a snack. You have your priorities very very wrong.

He's not 'a boy that fights' 🙄🙄

at least have the courtesy to read the OP's posts if not the whole thread.

cabbageking · 29/09/2025 21:18

Have a conversation and find out what the fight was over, in case it was linked to the snack.

Hankunamatata · 29/09/2025 21:13

He didnt eat for 3 hours. He isn't going to starve.
None of my kids had afternoon snack at primary. Lunch was often 11.45-12.15 then they didnt eat until dinner time at 5pm. It was fine

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