Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

School withholding snack as punishment?

295 replies

cjs99x · 29/09/2025 17:44

Hi all,

I wanted your opinion on something that’s happened today at school. For context - in my son’s class they have a morning snack (during juice/milk time on the carpet), lunch time (in the dinner hall) & afternoon snack (outside on the playground).

Today my 5 year old DS was kept inside for afternoon break time as he and another boy had a fight. My son getting into trouble at school is a very rare occurrence and that particular situation has been sorted out.

My concern is that, because he was kept inside for afternoon break time, he was told he wasn’t allowed to have his afternoon snack. All the children in the class was able to have their snack outside as usual, and he was told he wasn’t allowed as part of a consequence of missing his playtime. I mean keeping him inside as a consequence is fair enough, but not allowing him his food that I’ve packed?

I have briefly heard another parent mention something like this before but I wasn’t part of the conversation so I didn’t hear the full story. Obviously my son may be mixed up but he was really upset when he came out saying he was really hungry and is usually accurate when explaining things (even if it means he’ll be in trouble).

Am I being too sensitive here or is this just a very odd punishment for a 5 year old child? I just can’t see how the school is able to withhold a child’s food from them.

I will be speaking to this teacher tomorrow but I guess I’m just wondering if this a normal thing that happens in schools? He’s my only child so this is all knew to me but it just seems extreme Confused

OP posts:
MyDeftDuck · 29/09/2025 18:28

Did you have the discussion with him about the fight OP? He got in a scrap, he was punished, he missed out on a snack……….part of growing up I guess! But why are kids being given snacks at school?

LittleMyLabyrinth · 29/09/2025 18:28

I work in schools. While most don't even have an afternoon snack, we would never ever not let a child who was hungry eat. If they say they are hungry at any time we'll give them fruit once the lessons are over (ie choosing time). Not letting a hungry child eat should never be a punishment, yanbu.

Original poster
cjs99x · 29/09/2025 18:28

@ReadyforslippersI think you need to read the thread properly. The snacks are in the bag in the classroom. Most children take it outside with them, the odd child that decides to stay inside and read in the library area eat their snacks inside. My son went to get the snack from his bag and was told he wasn’t allowed it. It wasn’t that there was ‘no time’ or ‘no chance’ - he was told he wasn’t allowed it. You agreeing with that is fine, I’m not here to change your mind, but let’s stop twisting what I am saying.

OP posts:
Whatthebarnacles · 29/09/2025 18:28

You've been naughty, so do stay indoors in the warm with a nice little snack to learn from this.

Come on, OP.

Readyforslippers · 29/09/2025 18:25

Sunburstclocklover · 29/09/2025 18:24

Thank goodness! At last a sensible response. Withholding food as part of a punishment is wrong.

Show quote history

Yes, if that is what happened. If the child had had no lunch that would be unacceptable. He had no break, meaning no chance for snack. Most primary schools only have a morning snack anyway.

Sunburstclocklover · 29/09/2025 18:24

spicetails · 29/09/2025 17:53

Using food as a form of punishment is not acceptable

Thank goodness! At last a sensible response. Withholding food as part of a punishment is wrong.

Powerbank · 29/09/2025 18:23

RobynRB · 29/09/2025 18:18

Why do kids need a morning and afternoon snack exactly?

Have a guess - go on, I dare you to try to figure it out all by yourself.

Shinyandnew1 · 29/09/2025 18:23

I've worked in lots of primary/infant schools-I've never known one to have afternoon snack!

As it was your snack from his bag, I'm sure you could have just given it to him at 3pm or whenever you collected him.

Original poster
cjs99x · 29/09/2025 18:22

citygirl77 · 29/09/2025 18:21

This is a good lesson. If it works you should be hopeful he won’t do it again. You don’t get afternoon snacks at secondary school, so I am sure just this once he can survive.

Secondary school is 6 years away? Confused

OP posts:
citygirl77 · 29/09/2025 18:21

This is a good lesson. If it works you should be hopeful he won’t do it again. You don’t get afternoon snacks at secondary school, so I am sure just this once he can survive.

Readyforslippers · 29/09/2025 18:20

AutumnCosy2025 · 29/09/2025 18:18

It sounds like an over reaction from the teacher anyway. A stern 'Boys, no pushing' should be enough for two boys that are friends & usually well behaved. She's not leaving herself much space to impose punishment for serious misbehaviour.

is this her first year teaching?

Show quote history

I disagree, there should be a firm and clear no hands on others policy, which it seems there is. No food was withheld, he just didn't have time to go and eat it as he had forfeited his afternoon break.

Original poster
cjs99x · 29/09/2025 18:19

@ReadyforslippersMy son already apologised to the teacher and to his friend, it’s even written on the incident form. He’s never been in trouble before and felt very guilty (which I’m glad about, as hopefully him feeling guilty will prevent him from doing it again). I’m not ‘desperate’ to complain.

OP posts:
JLou08 · 29/09/2025 18:19

Withholding food shouldn't be a punishment. Hunger and thirst also triggers poor behaviour in young children. I do think teachers do an amazing job but there really does need to be more training around appropriate behaviour management.

AutumnCosy2025 · 29/09/2025 18:18

cjs99x · 29/09/2025 18:13

The other boy didn’t miss his break time because he had already left school for an appointment (I am friends with the mother). They usually play lovely together, have been very close friends for over a year so hopefully this won’t be a regular occurrence.

Show quote history

It sounds like an over reaction from the teacher anyway. A stern 'Boys, no pushing' should be enough for two boys that are friends & usually well behaved. She's not leaving herself much space to impose punishment for serious misbehaviour.

is this her first year teaching?

RobynRB · 29/09/2025 18:18

Why do kids need a morning and afternoon snack exactly?

Readyforslippers · 29/09/2025 18:15

AutumnCosy2025 · 29/09/2025 18:13

She's already said, more than once, that the pushing has been addressed. 🙄🙄

Show quote history

I read that, but the message needs reinforcing. I'd also be asking my child to apologise to the teacher in the morning for the poor behaviour and showing therefore that I agree with them and that it isn't acceptable. This desperation to complain is ridiculous.

Original poster
cjs99x · 29/09/2025 18:15

@MagicLoopthe snacks aren’t ‘given out’ - the children go and get their snacks from their bag and take them outside with them (apart from the odd child who decides to stay inside in the library area, they have their snack inside instead). When my son went to get his snack, he was told he wasn’t allowed it. Which is why I’m confused, as I didn’t think this was a typical consequence in school. I’m not saying they were ‘starving him’ I just didn’t think snacks were allowed to be used as punishments.

OP posts:
OneFootintheHedgehog · 29/09/2025 18:15

I don’t think k he’s being starved or anything so YABU the, but I don’t like the idea of a snack being a reward or punishment. It could lead to issues with food on some kids.

MagicLoop · 29/09/2025 18:14

Incidentally, I clicked on the thread all ready to be outraged on your behalf, expecting to read that a teacher had said 'You've been naughty, so you can't have snack ', but that's clearly not what happened

AutumnCosy2025 · 29/09/2025 18:13

Readyforslippers · 29/09/2025 18:06

I'd be far more concerned about the fighting and spend my energies talking about not using our hands on others, rather than moan to the teacher that little Jonny missed his apple.

She's already said, more than once, that the pushing has been addressed. 🙄🙄

Original poster
cjs99x · 29/09/2025 18:13

AutumnCosy2025 · 29/09/2025 18:10

I don't understand why he couldn't have had his snack inside when they have their morning snack inside? So I don't think it's reasonable for him not have been allowed it.

did the boy who pushed him have to miss his break as well?

are schools still allowed to get kids to pick up litter as a punishment? I'd have had them both do that. Five pieces each, wash hands, then snacks. Get then running off excess energy.

The other boy didn’t miss his break time because he had already left school for an appointment (I am friends with the mother). They usually play lovely together, have been very close friends for over a year so hopefully this won’t be a regular occurrence.

OP posts:
Worktillate · 29/09/2025 18:13

They haven't used food as a punishment though - he has lost his break as a punishment. The fact that he lost his snack as a default of not being allowed break isn't the intended consequence.

How would you expect they dealt with the snack? Let him have it while he wasn't having his break, therefore blurring the lines of the punishment? Or address it afterwards when all the other children came in, letting him get special treatment of having a snack with all the other children there when they don't? Doesn't exactly set a good deterrent for the children to not fight does it?

You're being quite dramatic OP, insinuating that food has been withheld. We never had afternoon snacks when I was at school and neither did my DD. If it's still in his lunchbox then he would have had to wait, at the most, an hour after snacktime if you let him have it when you picked him up.

I would maybe focus less on the distraction of the food and more on the fact he was fighting. I appreciate he's only young, but this is one of those occurances when you back up the message of the school without detracting from it with what they did 'wrong'

AutumnCosy2025 · 29/09/2025 18:12

Katherine9 · 29/09/2025 18:06

Missing a snack will be the least of your worries if he continues on this trajectory.

Pushing a child that pushed him?

yeah clearly going to be a violent thug.

🙄🙄🙄

MagicLoop · 29/09/2025 18:12

cjs99x · 29/09/2025 18:05

It’s not whether the school does an afternoon snack or not that bothers me - if it wasn’t a thing then it’s fair enough. But it just baffles me that it’s used as a punishment that’s all.

I agree with your point - and you also get the odd child that does stay inside for afternoon break (ie if they want to go and read a book in the library area instead) and they’re still able to eat their snack so it’s not eating the snack indoors that’s the issue.

Show quote history

As has been pointed out, the punishment was missing break. He wasn't outside at break where the snacks were given out, so he didn't get to eat his snack. This does not constitute a deliberate policy of 'withholding food' as a punishment. He had breakfast (presumably), a morning snack and lunch. They were hardly starving him!

Luxio · 29/09/2025 18:10

freakingscared · 29/09/2025 18:08

I think it’s ridiculous to take away food from a child 3 hours is a long time for a 5 year old . Would be a different answer if it was a teen but a 5 year old is just plain stupid

It wasn't taken away he just didn't chance to eat it because he was inside reflecting on his behaviour. Also it's a completely normal amount of time for a 5 year old to go without food. Confused

Swipe left for the next trending thread