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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go back to the office full time

38 replies

Toofficeornot · 29/09/2025 16:58

NC to avoid bias

I have been offered an interview for a new job.

Currently I am bored in my role. I work full time from home but actually do about 4 hours work a day. Pick kids up and can do school meetings, drs appointments. Kids have additional needs and nanny and childminder not an option.

New job is double my salary, 75k to 150k full time office based. Commute of 1.5 hours each way.

Grandma can help out but not all the time. DH works full time office based too. We need some extra money, things are tight.

Ybnbu - yes you should go for it
Ybu - no dont give uo flexibility and time with the kids

Please help me decide.

OP posts:
MellowPinkDeer · 29/09/2025 17:11

I’d go to the interview. Then if they want you I’d be negotiating to one day at home. I wouldn’t be overly worried at this stage in the process , none of these things are issues until you have the job.

Original poster
Toofficeornot · 29/09/2025 17:11

77Fee · 29/09/2025 17:08

Compare your after tax position because, as you know, doubling your gross will not double your net plus you'll have commute costs to factor in.

But by anyone's calculation that's a massive (impressive) leap in gross income. Did they know what you are currently on when they offered?

Its what I was on before I took a massive cut to work from home full time. I was lucky in all roles since covid as never had to go back to the office full time but when I was asked to start going in I got offered my current job which was 100 percent wfh so took a massive pay cut and cut in responsibilities etc. But I am very bored.

OP posts:
Original poster
Toofficeornot · 29/09/2025 17:08

Im not sure about childcare, this is the main issue. After school club is full. Potential family can help out. Dh commute is shorter. Maybe he can reduce hours. I am the higher earner alreadym i took a lower paid job to work from home for the kids but I have been doing it for 18 months now and I am so bored. I like the idea of still going for it and deciding along the way. My immediate reaction was to say no but I am torn.

OP posts:
77Fee · 29/09/2025 17:08

Compare your after tax position because, as you know, doubling your gross will not double your net plus you'll have commute costs to factor in.

But by anyone's calculation that's a massive (impressive) leap in gross income. Did they know what you are currently on when they offered?

SunshineAndFizz · 29/09/2025 17:07

I’d think very carefully. In reality your take home salary won’t double. You’ll go into the next tax bracket, and also once over £100k you’ll lose benefits like tax free child care (i.e. free hours depending on age, plus the 20% saving on the child care costs). Plus, that commute will be expensive.

I’d work out the true take home pay increase once the above is factored in, and work out if it’s really worth it.

ShesTheAlbatross · 29/09/2025 17:05

If nanny and childminder aren’t an option, what are you actually going to do if neither your DH have flexibility? How far away does your DH work? If you’re 1.5hrs away, after school club (if this is possible for your children?) will finish before you can get there. Is DH’s commute shorter?
How much does DH earn? If you’re doubling your salary to £150k, does it make financial sense for him to cut his hours?

cestlavielife · 29/09/2025 17:04

You can get childminders and nannies specialist in SEN
see for example SNAP agency
Take the new job

NoSoapJustUseShowerGel · 29/09/2025 17:03

Important to remember that although the gross salary is double, the take home won’t be - far from it.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 29/09/2025 17:03

I would say go for it, but what is your actual plan re childcare?

Arlanymor · 29/09/2025 17:02

Good luck with the interview - I would honestly think about it afterwards as otherwise you could be tying yourself up in knots over something that might not happen. I don't say that to be a Negative Nelly, I'm waiting to hear if I have been shortlisted for an interview and it would be a shift for me too, but I can't give any bandwidth to ruminating as I am nowhere near the finish line currently.

betterthanrevenge · 29/09/2025 17:01

I guess it depends if its feasible with pick ups and drop offs? Will you be able to do them still? Will your DH?

Almost2026 · 29/09/2025 17:01

If a nanny or childminder isn’t an option, then who is having the kids?

Motheranddaughter · 29/09/2025 17:00

Go for it and good luck