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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Been made to feel like a outcast at work :(

161 replies

Thelily · 29/09/2025 14:30

I started a new job on an NHS ward about 2 months ago. I haven’t had any other trouble settling in roles, but I am auADHD so I suppose I could potentially be seen as a bit shy?

The ward atmosphere is unlike any other ward I’ve been on. I will walk in at the start of my shift and say hi/good morning etc, and no one will reply. Whenever I ask a question to any of the staff they act like it’s a big inconvenience and will roll their eyes. When I walk on the ward, they will stare at me (after I say hello) until I walk down the whole corridor. I feel like I’m not liked, which is fine, but it’s undermining my confidence.

I’ve still got friends from another ward I worked on, so I meet them for lunch (when I get one) but I’m not sure if this is just compounding me feeling isolated with the current team I work with?

A few people do speak to me during the shift, but I feel very isolated and lonely. My manager is only in 2 days a week, and on days they’re not in, I sit largely on my own with a few different appointments with patients across the day.

My manager has said she thinks I’m doing well but “don’t be scared to share your opinions of your patients in the team meetings, you are quite reserved about doing so”. I am reserved here because I know whatever I say will get eye rolls.

Is this normal ward working? I don’t expect best friends, but I am feeling so disheartened and actually dread going into work

OP posts:
Lovemycat2023 · 29/09/2025 15:20

That sounds rough, but don’t stop meeting your friends for lunch as you need their support.

Nagpuss · 29/09/2025 14:53

How horrible for you. This kind of behaviour really makes start to doubt yourself

without explaining your fears could you ask your manager for some further advice on how to improve your engagement in the team? A good manager won’t just leave your floundering, they will invite you to comment in meetings in areas they know you’ll have an opinion.

InveterateWineDrinker · 29/09/2025 14:50

My NHS experience is in management rather than on wards, but some places are just like you've described. I'm sorry to say that I have met several NHS staff who actively enjoying 'seeing them off' when someone dares to join their department.

Look elsewhere.

Lanzarotelady · 29/09/2025 14:49

It is bloody hard work, settling into a new ward, they have ways or working, you don't know yet, ways of doing things, it can take ages to settle.
Did you have a supernumerary period? Do you have a mentor?

Itstheshowgirl · 29/09/2025 14:48

OP it’s nothing to do with your AuDHD they are just horrible people and I am 100% certain that they would be the same with any new start.

The advice I give to my DC in situations like this is don’t feed it, don’t let anyone see that this behaviour bothers you because people like this use the bullying of others as a bond so if you still just smile and say good morning, go about your business as pleasantly as possible and let them see they aren’t bothering you then they will have to find something else to amuse themselves with.

However OP I would also be looking for another job move because life is too short to be putting up with this crap.

Lanzarotelady · 29/09/2025 14:48

What type of ward is it, what is your role there?
Why did you move, promotion or you wanted a change of scenery?

GreenMarigold · 29/09/2025 14:45

So sorry you are experiencing that. That sounds horrible. I don’t work in the NHS but any workplace can have that happen, and it’s never nice.

My husband used to work on a ward and it was really supportive and friendly - everyone looked out for each other.

In your shoes I think I’d just consider myself in work mode when I’m there - not looking for friends, just doing my job - and crack on to the best of my ability.

And then I’d leave for a new role as soon as it came up - unless friendships emerge over time. You might find when new people join then you can bond with them.

TheatricalLife · 29/09/2025 14:45

It's not normal, no.
Personally, I'd start looking for something else. Life is too short to be miserable at work. You spend so much time there, it should at the least be tolerable.

ladyamy · 29/09/2025 14:42

I’m sorry to hear that. Take ‘AuDHD’ out the equation they don’t sound like nice people. I hope it improves soon

TheLilacStork · 29/09/2025 14:42

Ah I’m so sorry this is happening to you, I definitely have had experience of these sort of behaviours in the NHS. Can you speak to your manager about it? Maybe you can be thick skinned enough to carry on but if it’s affecting your confidence of speaking out about your patients that’s a shame? Can you call them out about it? I did that once, I asked why someone was pulling faces when I was talking? She was so shocked at being called out on it and was embarrassed, she apologised later. It’s very out of character for me. I don’t know what to advise really just wanted to say you aren’t alone

Thelily · 29/09/2025 14:37

Anyone :(

OP posts: