Been made to feel like a outcast at work :(

Not much of a prize though is it "Bullies continue working together, but all secretly terrified it'll be them that's shunned next whilst OP goes and finds a nice group of people to work with"

Yes I saw those, I am talking about the OP's own experience

Do you still work for the NHS? Bullying is still very much alive in the NHS and it starts at the top. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c7287gxn7m3o.amp

The NHS is a fucking toxic place to work. Anyone not recognising that is either walking around with their eyes and ears closed or they’re part of the problem.

So sorry to hear this, I’m surprised the NHS can be like this, but I guess all work places can be. It sounds horrible.

I had this happen once. I joined a company and walking round the office I’d say hello and it was exactly the same. I’d feel awful. You wonder what is wrong with people! I remember thinking, like you, ‘is it me’ and feeling so uncomfortable.

To make it worse, I was in a team of 4, my manager and 2 others. The 2 others decided they didn’t like me from the start. They would not look at me or talk to me 🤦‍♀️ I’d never been bullied ever before, even at school, so was really taken aback by it. I tried to speak to my manager and the director of the department.. and ask if they’re weren’t aware I was starting etc, what was the problem (?) but they didn’t care. The director in particular liked these 2, especially one of them and said she was helpful to her and wouldn’t do anything. In retrospect, I can’t believe people would behave like it.

I suffered on for probably about 2 years. The worst one thankfully left. I couldn’t have coped. The other one, one day, I was in 3 back-to-back meetings, with the director and others. The one who didn’t like me, had a go at me in each meeting :( It all came to a head in the last meeting… our team meeting with about 10 people. She had a go at me, and I couldn’t take it anymore. I asked her what her problem was. She said she didn’t have one… I got angry, I told her it wasn’t ok, I started shouting etc, in front of anyone… I walked out. (I wouldn’t recommend this) but… THEN the director suddenly cared. She’d also been doing an MA in HR and was doing something on conflict resolution.. so perhaps it was suddenly interesting for her?

Anyway, the director came after me. I was very upset. The whole thing was finally addressed. HR got involved with the bully and sent her to ‘behaviour / bully training’ somewhere external. We had conflict resolution meetings where I asked her what was up - and said I’m there to work with her! She finally started acting like a normal person. When I left after around 3.5 years she organised my leaving gift and a party. Apparently they’d never collected so much money for a leaving gift. It was slightly embarrassing opening them.. so many!

All during this time, people from other departments knew what was happening to me and would comment, be friendly. They even came up to me and said ‘they don’t talk to you, do they,’ without me saying anything. 🤦‍♀️ One colleague from another department said he didn’t know how I put up with it. It was a toxic workplace, even my manager was toxic. He did nothing about any of this, it was finally the Director who responded.

The whole thing was a problem with the company overall, like you, them all not saying hello, for all new starters.

MY POiNT IS (SORRY, LONG SHARE) - I shouldn’t have stayed. I guess I did, as it was a prestigious company and it had taken me a long time to change company. I felt I needed the role at that time.

BUT IT’S ABSOLUTELY NOT NORMAL FOR PEOPLE TO BEHAVE LIKE THIS. DO NOT TAKE IT ON YOURSELF.

Try to find 1 or 2 people to get on with in the department, tell your manager why you feel uncomfortable. If nothing changes, look for another role ASAP!! Know it will be better soon!! 🙏

So sorry you are experiencing this, I hope you are ok xx

It’s vile, I hate it but it’s really common. I think if you’re neurodiverse and seen as even a little bit different it’s much more likely to happen / much worse. I’ve had a few NHS healthcare and nursing jobs. From the title in my email, I was like what are the odds that’s healthcare?

Bullying makes wards unsafe, because people shouldn’t feel unsafe to speak up - what if something is missed about a patient because someone who is being bullied doesn’t feel they can escalate it to a bully? Fairly sure that’s evidence based.

I’ve had to make my peace with not really fitting in and then after the shittest year / start to a job of my life just cracking on because I really like the work in a hospice.

It's not you OP, it could be they expected the role to go to a friend or they're just miserable people.

Good idea to look for a different job, as you can see from PP, it happens a lot but there are also lovely places to wprk at.
Good luck with the new job.

Unfortunately this seems quite common in the NHS but there’s also plenty of wards with lovely staff on! Definitely look for a new job asap.

What does this mean: the manager moved everyone's stuff? Is she participating in isolating you as well now? It sounds awful. I once had to stick out a terrible job in the NHS for 9 months and then pretend I was relocating due to my partner's job in order not to get a bad reference so I feel for you.

Had two experiences like this during my time in the NHS. Definitely look for another job. Is there any way you could do bank/locum work whilst you're looking for another role? Still pay in to pension etc so don't think it's seen as a break in service as long as it's directly with the NHS and not an external agency.

So are nurses like that nasty to patients as well

never mind audhd, nobody has any right to roll their eyes at you. that's just bullying and cuntish.

Find another place to work, please don't waste your life and peace of mind trying to fit in with a crap work environment full of horrible people. Nothing that you personally can do will fix or improve this, its all them. Please trust me and just move on. Its not normal, don't internalise it, you deserve better.

Pathetic behaviour and they are supposed to be professionals.

If you do confront their bullshit OP (and I really hope you do) remind them of the policies. Document everything in your supervision. You need evidence that you raised the concerns if you ever go down constructive dismissal route.

Just remember, it’s not you. Bullying is rife in the NHS and sadly this is unlikely to change anytime soon.

Oh god that sounds unbearable I'm sorry. In my limited experience environments like this usually filter down from management. It's not a you problem.

They sound awful awful people. Rude, clichey and ignorant. That would really grind me down and make me feel very unhappy at work. Don't question yourself. Your behaviour is absolutely fine. Can you raise it with your line manager? They sound appalling.

Damn right. The next time you get ignored after saying ‘Good morning/ Hello’ say (with a smile), “Didn’t you hear me? I said Good Morning / Hello” .
Ignorant fuckers. Just remember OP this isn’t a you problem. It’s them. It really is them.

I mean Jesus fucking Christ, so there is an actual training module on how to curate the eye roll. Are people working in the NHS adults or kids who need to grow the fuck up. What a joke!

I would ask what you staring at.
Theres so many fucking weirdos (bullies) working for the NHS.

I've friends and family in the NHS who've experienced this. My mother was a nurse and worked with some nurses who in other professions would be considered unhinged she said.

So the way I see it, you’ve got two choices. You either look for another job and potentially find you face similar difficulties in a new role. Or you cal them out on it! Girl you gotta muster up some confidence and call them out on their shitty behaviour. Christ almighty why oh fucking why are there so many titheads working for the NHS?!! So much for “Be Kind”!

In a team meeting, you tell them what you have you told us and you ask them why they do it. Let them know how it makes you feel and let them know that the behaviour has to stop and things need to change. Make sure there is someone you trust in that meeting.

Don’t be afraid of standing up for yourself! The world is not going to end because you dare to stand up for yourself.

I honestly think the best thing is to move on as soon as something else comes up. Those telling you to stand up to it don’t understand that not everyone is capable of doing that. I’m like you - it just starts affecting my mental health and I stop sleeping. I would lose sleep just thinking about fighting back! It needs management to change these things and often it’s difficult so they do nothing. Start looking and find solace in the fact that you will find something else very soon and f*ck them all!!!

Read through the comments up thread where people confirm that what the OP is describing is extremely common in NHS wards! 🤷‍♀️

Read the OP, she says the atmosphere on this ward is 'unlike any other ward I have been on'.

Read comments up thread, a lot of people confirming this type of behaviour is very common on NHS wards

Good luck in your job hunt, is there any chance of moving back to your previous job?