Two adults cornered and scolded my 7yo

The other parents were totally out of order on several grounds:

Disrupting another childs party to make a totally unrelated point is unreasonable and putting other children in an atmosphere of fear. Secondly, if your child has an issue with another child or tells you they are being bullied, depending on the circumstances, you need to be speaking to either or both the parents and school and NOT the other child.

What the other parents have done, is gang up and bully a lone child who would be totally intimidated by the two adults and unable to defend himself. This cannot be framed as the last desperate act of parents whose child they believe is being bullied, it is the act of adult bullies.

I'm assuming that this is the first you have heard of your child being accused of bullying? If this is the case, speak to the school and ask for a meeting to get to the bottom of the allegations and tell them how it came to your attention. Do this urgently.

You think that every single 3 year old is capable of emotional and behavioural self-regulation, and those that aren't, deserve to be scolded?

I mean, one toddler hitting another toddler is unpleasant and if he's in the habit of doing it he needs support NOT to. But ... three years old?! FFS, have you MET any three year olds? Or are the ones you know all sitting around discussing Aristotle?

1. She's going to speak to the school.

1. Because the bullying is presumably happening at school. How is OP going to fund out if her child is bullying unless she asks the school? Also schools have to keep all children safe.

1. Yes it makes no sense and there is no justification for it.

1. So you are suggesting that children from a "broken home" (hideous phrase) whose parents work full time- which is pretty common in this economy have behavioural problems? Charming.

I’d be really fucking cross that a pair of grown adults had ambushed my child when they knew I wasn’t there. No matter what he’d done. He’s 7 ffs. Approach the parent, not the child when you know he’s on his own - that’s cowardly.

Of course the school needs to be involved. Where else would the alleged bullying be occuring? And of course OP’s son needs to be protected from this happening again with these adults.

It’s entirely possible these people are absolutely batshit as evidenced by the large number of posters who found themselves on the receiving end of awful treatment from the parents of kids who turned out to be the bully themselves.

And lastly, what a sad little life to have done a deep dive on op. And insinuating her child might be a bully because he’s a product of separated parents? Ffs 🤦🏻‍♀️

Yeah this too! Almost certain the OP doesn't intend to return.

The OP hasn't even come back to explain. Rage baiting.

Red flags that stand out:

1. OP is only angry about the behaviour of the other parents and 100% defensive of her own son. Made absolutely no attempt to clarify if he actually did something that maybe have been perceived as bullying.

2. Arguments at that age are usually trivial but there are almost always two sides to the story. Finding out the motive and disciplining your own child is the first priority. Not sure why the school needs to be involved if he is the alleged bully. Why does the school need to keep him "safe"?

3. The other parents were out of line to do that at another family's party, but it also makes no sense for two adults to gang up on a random child who genuinely didn't do anything. OP is making it sound like they picked him as a random innocent target entirely out of thin air.

4. From a previous thread, the son comes from a broken home with separation around 2 and divorce at 4. He stays 7 nights in OP's house and presumably the other nights with his father. Both parents work full time. Obviously many children in the same situation are resilient but it's not outside the realm of possibility that early life ACEs would cause behavioural issues that the OP is not revealing.

But of the OP’s son is bullying the other child at school then the school absolutely should know about it and intervene.

The school won’t get involved, because it’s an out of school private dispute.

How on earth do you know that the child is a bully? The OP needs to speak to her son and the school teacher to find out the facts. Two adults cornering a child and bullying him is absolutely not the right way to tackle things even if @Rosie5832's child is bullying others.

You really need to get to the bottom of this but also stop leaving your child at birthday party’s with strangers like these you don’t know who they are properly and shit like this could happen and I don’t think your son would like it if you left him again

Yes, it’s all about her son. Two grown adults cornered him and yelled at him for something for which they apparently only have their own sons’ word. I don’t care what he did or didn’t do. This is not the way to handle it.

OP needs to establish that he actually is a bully before she ensures he no longer does it don’t you think ? ‘Sounds like’ isn’t enough to accuse him of something he very well might not have done. Better to approach the school and establish the actual facts first.

Wild, isn’t it? There was me thinking that ‘dropping and running’ was a completely normal part of the child’s social development.
Who knew that people were still accompanying their teenagers to parties these days!

Sounds like your son has caused their children great distress, they shouldn’t have done it the way they did, but you need to ensure your child no longer bullies others.

Not on MN apparently. It’s a lack of responsibility which you pass on to your child, therefore making them a bully 🙄

Regardless of the background, I would not want my child spoken to aggressively by another adult without my permission and awareness, perhaps with exceptions for school or police. Every adult with their own child surely knows that it's just wrong to approach someone else's child with anger.

Not even a mention of you asking your son if it’s true he’s been bullying their son. It’s all about your son.

FFS read the thread.

Really??? What has happened that adults need the police to sort this out??

Because the child is seven and old enough to be left for an hour while he’s at a party supervised by the birthday boy’s parents. And it’s unknown if OP’s son is actually a bully. She doesn’t know at this point, which is pretty clear from the thread.

Because he’s in year 3? And he’s clearly given no indication that he needs op supervising him or she’d not have left him on his own?

Isn’t it normal that year 3 kids are left at parties under the supervision of the birthday parent?

I think it's unacceptable what they did, they shouldn't corner a 7 year old and have a go at him. They should know better! Hope your Son is OK OP.

Why were you not supervising your child yourself at the party?

is he bullying the other child?

Oh well they didn't hit him so that's ok then?! You can just go around having a go at random kids in public when you're someone's guest. Bloody hell.

Primary schools do LOADS about bullying actually and take it very seriously when it actually is bullying. It has to be reported to governors and ofsted look at it when they come. The problem is lots of 7 year olds think having a disagreement or a child chosing not to play with them one lunchtime is bullying.