Two adults cornered and scolded my 7yo

When my daughter was seven she was bullied by twin sister “frenemies” . They were playing out the eating disorder their anorexic/orthorexic mother was grooming them into.

I handled it all “correctly” and the school must have handled it great because the Mum started avoiding me a few weeks later. I never mentioned it to the kids.

I know they were only 7 ffs, but the I definitely had the internal impulse to cause them as much upset as they were causing in my house. I had the impulse to publicly mock and shame the mother that she had recruited her whole family into an ED cult, and was now trying to recruit mine.

Knowing my own experience I would have a lot of sympathy for parents who don’t handle it the “right” way..

As for those consoling themselves about “batshit parents who turned out to be bullies themselves”. I have no doubt that woman consoled herself I was a big heifer who was using the school to cause her and her children psychological terror. But it wasn’t actually the case, and the parents of bullies are uniformly delusional about what their child does, and the impact on other people.
I’ve seen a couple complain that children bullied their child by running away from him. The kids ran away (were told to run away by their own parents) because he was a violent little shit at 8, and was a sexually violent little kid at 12. They rejected this until the second or third time the police were at the door.

So you are happy to bully a child. Nice. With that attitude your child is more likely to be a bully, learned behaviour.

Would it occur to you that the normal thing to do is approach the school who can deal with the bullying, if it's true, and inform the parents.

Alternative perspective:
Your child is a bully and they called him out. He then ruined the party because he couldn't take it. He sounds like a spoilt brat. You need to be talking to him about what his behaviour that led to the confrontation.

People are idiots, Usually the people on these threads are just ignored in real life for the knobs that they are but unfortunately Mum‘s net gives them a voice

The child might or might not be a bully. These two grown adults are definitely bullies. They need to be dealt with and shouldn't be allowed on school premises until it is dealt with.

Mumsnet is very strange about ‘bullying’ in general. They seem to completely miss that at some point most kids will be bullied and will also do something that could be construed as bullying. It’s just bad behaviour, no more or less in children. But it’s all about protecting their own perfect DC against the evil bullies. No shades of grey.

And quite clearly what happened at the party was bullying and regardless of what the OP’s child has or hasn’t done two wrongs don’t make a right (and they are adults 🤦🏻‍♀️). But 🤷🏻‍♀️

I'd have walked away from the thread too. Virtually no-one has adressed the fact that two grown women have verbally attacked a lone seven year old and ruined an unrelated child's party.

I don't believe that a single parent on this thread would accept that happening to their child (or be okay with these women ruining their child's party). Yet the vast majority have ignored the actual incident and laid into the OP with their own agendas.
There really is no point in OPs coming back to this kind of thread.

To be fair there have been some pretty unpleasant replies and OP’s who aren’t used to the combative nature of AIBU tend to abandon early. I’ve seen a lot of OP’s leave their own threads after posters have picked up on irrelevant details and totally derailed the thread by pursuing them relentlessly.

To some extent that’s happened here. Posters asking why she left him at the party and scolding her for doing so. And even more posters assuming her son is a bully and scolding her for not taking that more on board - despite the fact that this incident only happened a day ago and she clearly had no knowledge of anything amiss prior to that and is speaking to the school.

??

Total sidebar I know but I've just had a Google of this and it puts divorce on the same footing as various kinds of abuse which is just mad!

Literally 😂 she cares so much

Yes it's often the adults that are the actual bullies that create a situation, the poor children who genuinely normally get on or sort it out by self policing end up suffering

Not necessarily. I've witnessed a loud aggressive boy pushing another around in a school setting. The quieter boy told the bully that he didn't want to play with him anymore and the bullys parents said the quieter boy was bullying their child by exclusion.

I suspect that will have changed by the end of year 2. At the beginning, yes some children will only recently have turned 6 so more likely that parents will stay.

DS’s birthday is around Easter, so half the kids were 7 and half were 8 in year 3. Plenty old enough to be left at a party at a friend’s house for 90 minutes - that doesn’t make the parents “lax” (not sure if it was you who suggested that).

Yep, again!

Fed up on here atm.

Don't waste your time commenting anyone reading now. OP is so concerned about her son that she hasn't bothered to return.

What a huge safeguarding red flag and a massive lesson for you!!!

It is what people do who have been conditioned by the ACEs model that means any upset in childhood means you are destined for utter shitness for the rest of your life which is:

A) bullshit
B) abusive to the child
C) the reason why ACEs have been withdrawn over 5 years ago because they were harmful to children to tell them that.
D) Shows how people do not understand trauma.

Sometimes people are such adult bullies it doesn't matter if your there or not

Don't leave him in future.

Yep!

Fully support you, a few years ago a very traumatic experience happened to my family, due to one parent very vocalally deciding my child was the Devil and spreading their views not facts around their group,the appalling treatment received has effected us all greatly, they are children most adults deal effectively with this sort of situation unfortunately the actual bully adults show their true colours and end up being the bad adults. Non bullies wouldn't dream of accosting children and their families.

A mum did this to me when I was 5 or 6 and I never forgot it, it really upset me. Cornered me in the playground at morning drop off, after my mum had left. Now I’m a mum myself I can’t believe she thought it was appropriate.

I remember that her daughter and I didn’t like each other because we both wanted to be friends with the same girl. My friend tells me I’d do stuff like not throw the ball to the other girl if we were playing a game. Admittedly unkind, but if it were my child on the receiving end, I certainly wouldn’t corner a tiny child over it - I’d have a chat with their mum or a teacher like a normal person.

Anyone who does stuff like that is severely unhinged. So sorry OP and hope your little lad is alright ❤️

Rage baiting.

Depends on the type of bullying (if true) imo, some kids can be absolutely vile.

OP never coming back then. Lot of that lately 👀