Two adults cornered and scolded my 7yo

Hang on. Did they say DS had been bullying their kid at school? Or at the party?

If he’d been doing something at the party then their reaction was OTT but at least it’s understandable why they spoke to him at the party.

If they were accusing him of bullying at school then this is definitely a very odd and out of order way to go about it. And especially to do it while you weren’t there.

I assumed from your OP that this was all about something he did at the party. But other pp are assuming it’s about school behaviour. Which is it please?

The parents sound unhinged. I’m glad party kids mum had your sons back! I hope you do confront these parents at school, no way I’d let them get away with speaking to my child like that .

I’m meeting with the school teacher today to alert her to this incident and to make sure my son is kept safe in school.

Agreed but you also need to check with your son and the school of your son is bullying their kid and others.

I don’t condone parents taking things into their own hands, but if they’re at the end of their tether with their son being bullied then I have a bit more empathy.

Their behaviour was wrong.
It's unclear whether this alleged bullying was a one off at the party or an ongoing situation at school.

Not necessarily. I vividly remember someone else's mum looking over me when I was 7 (in the playground at picking up time) and shouting at me that I needed to back of from bullying her child. I had not exchanged one word with her child at the time. Her child was, interestingly, actually a bully. The mum was just nuts.

Totally outrageous. Two adults in a 7-yo's face?

Has your son shared any more about what prompted this?

Agree with PPs that you should speak to the school so they can watch for any trouble with the other child and also the parents.

my child was cornered by the parents of another classmate.

Two grown adults against one vulnerable child. Bang out of order. I’d confront and see if they are brave enough to sand up to an adult!

'Bully' is a very big word to describe 7 year olds.

What on Earth was your son doing to provoke such a strong response at a party? This won't have come from nowhere.

I would actually report to the police & have a meeting with not only your child's teacher but the head teacher too, i wouldnt want those parents at my childs school. I feel so sorry for your child even if he has been unkind to their child, 2 adults shouldn't be shouting at a 7 year old.

If the school aren't being effective, then maybe talk to the parents. It's never appropriate to approach a 7yo child directly. Maybe "straight talking" might be ok in some circumstances with secondary age children, but not younger ones. Unfamiliar adults are too scary and intimidating.

I would get the police involved. 2 adults on one child is never acceptable.

What evidence is there that your son is in fact a bully? My daughter told me she was being bullied at a similar age. I got her to keep a diary of events, turned out she just didn't like the girl. There was some mean and unkind words but what 7 year doesn't say stuff like that occasionally.

So according to you, theres no possible other explanation than the OP’s ds being a bully??

• Not parents being bullies themselves. Who in their own mind creates an ambush to a 7yo and shouts at them like this? What did they think it would achieve?
• Not their child having told tales, reported ONE incident wrongly (because theyre 7yo!), having fallen out the dat before on the playground (aka nirmal behaviour, not bullying) etc etc
• Not the parents thinking theyve seen something that never happened.

And even if the OP ds was a bully, this would NOT excuse their behaviour. It affected the ds but also the birthday child and all the other children there. Wrong time, wrong place, wrong way. And that’s on the parents EVEN IF the ds was a bully

from op : my child was cornered by the parents of another classmate.

It's not two seperate adults doing this - is one set of parents.

It's also unacceptable behavior from any adults and in an inappropriate venue - parent of party child was horrified at them behaving like this and stepped in to stop it.

If bullying is happening it for parents to approach the school to deal with it. I also know parents of bullies often blame the bullied child and speaking to adults who witness it in school can give a very different pattern of behavior.

There is nothing a 7-year old can do that justifies 2 grown adults cornering them at someone else's party and frightening them to tears.

Their behaviour was absolutely out of order. If there's an issue they should have raised if with the school or approached you (calmly) about it and tried to have a reasonable conversation with you, not corner your son like that.

That said, you do need to find out what the reason for this is and what triggered it. It could all be made up and the other boy might be bullying your son and this is another way of getting at him by getting his parents to have a go at your son. Or it's possible that your son is doing something which is upsetting the other boy.
The best thing to do would be to go into school to talk about it and to see if they have noticed anything going on and whether they can throw some light on the matter.

I will reiterate, it is never ok for adults to behave that way towards a child.

If a parent thinks that the solution is to talk to a 7-year-old child, then they themselves do not understand how to behave appropriately, and it is unlikely that their children are “victims” rather than the source of the problems.

We had this situation outside the school classroom and it nearly turned into full scale fisticuffs.

The son of the accusing mother had behaved like a bully from starting school 🙄

Anyway, definitely go through the school.

I would tell them not to step foot near your child again or you'll report them to the police for harassing a child (and assault as well, if they lay a finger on him)

Tell your child to shout "Help, help! These people are bad" very loudly if they come near him again.

Yes, you and the school need to get to the bottom of what's been going on, and what your son has and has not been doing. But it is completely inappropriate of them to approach a child, who can't defend themselves effectively, directly and in an aggressive manner. Your son needs to be guarded against adults who quite frankly sound unhinged.

If their kid is going to be at future parties, you or another adult clearly need to attend with your son.

What you need to do now, is playing them at their own game. Find someone bigger than them and have them go and have words.

By bigger, I mean the police.

It’s a bizarre way to handle it if their child is being bullied. They effectively ruined a third child’s birthday party.

This isn’t the sort of thing parents would usually do and I’d assume your son has made their child very unhappy and school was being useless. Especially for it to be 2 different adults.

I think if their child was being relentlessly bullied at hands of your son, school being useless it’s not unreasonable to say ‘you’ve got to leave our children alone’ and tell him off. They were probably desperate.

Obviously if they hadn’t talked the school or told their child to hit yours (yes yes controversial) to sort it first, then it’s more unreasonable. Really missing so much information to give a fair answer

Mumsnet is like another planet sometimes 🤦‍♀️ its never ok for two adults to corner a young child and rant at them until they are in tears! If those cowardly idiots thought their child truly was being bullied why didn't they go to the school and get it dealt with properly? If they really had to talk to OP themselves then they needed to wait until she was there - preferably without her ds! Sounds to me like like they waited to target OP's kid when there was no one to protect him. And shame on other parents who witnessed it but didn't intervene.

Ffs. This is a young boy who was intimidated, shouted at with nobody to help him and made to cry by adults! They should know better!

There are many different ways to speak about bullying and get to the bottom of it. This is not one of them! I cannot believe the number of adults on this thread calling out a 7 year old, instead of the actual adults who were being the bullies! Nobody should be bullying a child. Disgraceful behaviour and anybody condoning it should be ashamed.

I really hope your little boy is OK, op. I know it would take a lot to hold your tongue and not confront those parents. I'm raging on your behalf!

Shocking amount of victim-blaming on this thread. No matter what the son had done (if anything) the actions of the adults in this situation were wholly unacceptable.

IME the more aggressive the parents the more likely the whole thing is made up bollocks from the other child.

This is what I've seen over the years as well.