Two adults cornered and scolded my 7yo

Maybe, if OP's DS has been regularly bullying their DS, they wanted to make sure they could be there to watch and protect their own DS at the party - and then, OP's DS was continuing to bully their DS at the party and they saw red.

Of course, none of us know this - and it may be that OP's DS is absolutely not a bully and has been falsely accused; indeed, as has been suggested, their DS might have been bullying him and it's classic DARVO in action.

The adults probably shouldn't have approached him this way - although I don't see how soundly chastising a bully (if indeed he is) and warning him to stop actually counts as bullying itself.

I know a lot of people will scoff and ask how a 7yo could possibly be a bully, but some kids have indeed learned how to be really horrid, nasty and manipulative by that age - sometimes deliberately exploiting their young age and bursting into fake tears in order to get away with it.

Again, none of us know the full facts here; but some children of that age ARE nasty bullies and many schools are simply not interested in acknowledging that they have a bullying problem, much less in resolving it. It's far easier to ignore it and/or to tell the victim that they 'need to learn resilience'.

Those parents could have a perpetually very upset child whose life is being made an absolute misery by a nasty bully, have reported it to the school again and again and been repeatedly brushed off and nothing ever done. It happens a great deal.

If that were the case here, what choices would the parents actually have apart from to force their own innocent DS to move schools, put up with the bullying (and ban him from attending any parties where the bully might be) - or to take the opportunity to advocate for their own child and give the bully a very strong warning to stop?

More facts are needed here; but many bullies are skilled manipulators - even at that relatively young age - and are hardly going to admit to adults that they are bullies and be stopped or sanctioned.

Unfortunately some people on mumsnet hate kids!

I think it's indefensible, cornering a small child. How terrifying for them. I'm aghast that anyone thinks thinks this is OK, regardless to what has been going on at school.

That’s appalling OP- I’d go to the school- I’d also contact the parents themselves. The bullying question tbh is redundant at this point, it’s a 7 year old child attacked by adults.

Like some other posters I think there are two issues here. To find out if your son has been bullying and deal with it with support from the school and to inform the school of the parents behaviour. Two separate situations even though they are allegedly linked. However I'm not sure they will be happy to do anything about the parents behaviour at an outside of school event. I would however ask them to be mindful at pick up to safeguard your child from there behaviour.

I did have something similar to this. My DD was accused of bullying and the father of the other child verbally and very aggressively fronted me out, outside of school premises. Turns out my child wasn't bullying and the other child had problems at home which I'm not surprised going by the fathers behaviour.

Surley if something happend at the party it would be an oi - and hovering there so nothing else happened? Not so bad party Mum had to intervene and call OP.

I once had Ds accused of misbehavior at party - I'd stopped and had eyes on him - so when parents went up angry to him I was right there and pointed out there were in a different room I'd seen and their little girl was wrong - and was backed by a few other parents.

Turned out she got praise for doing similar off a dinner lady - telling tales about DS and few other kids - I don't know why but they moved staff round at lunch and all those issues went away. Later turned out she was trying same with her younger sister and took a while for parents to cotten on - she wasn't bad came across as well behaved to most adults just seemed to like getting other kids in trouble.

Absolutely not how any bullying incidents should be handled and a massive shame for the party boy and parent who had to deal with all that.
Obviously, there must be some background information to this story -it can't have suddenly come from nowhere. We don't know if the "bullying" is a long term issue, happened at the party, is a misunderstanding, wrong identity 🤷‍♀️. Without a doubt, two adults shouldn't have cornered a 7 year old. Bullying can be life destroying though so I can understand the desperation felt by some parents.

What’s gone on to make 2 parents that riled up they have a go at him in front of them of everyone
then tell the person whom intervened
then still be that upset about what’s gone on to go straight to op when she appears to tell her

They may have spoken to the school.

Unfortunately I've seen this kind of thing a lot in my career where parents have got very aggressive and it's been unfounded.

For example I've taught kids who were not being bullied, just normal friendship issue stuff and their Dad's turned up at school and were very aggressive- threatening to beat up the other children's parents etc. Really scary stuff!

You are 100% right to go to the school OP.

I remember leaving nursery with my then 3 year old son. A parent came and squared up to me about my son making his daughter cry. I apologised and said I would find out what happened. Went back into nursery and the rather bemused nursery worker said my son hadn't done anything to his daughter and she was crying as she wasn't allowed a second pudding.

In answer to your point a) did you see the thread the other day about inviting a bully to a party? There were plenty of posters who explained why they would do that

Totally not condoning the behaviour but we have no idea if the child in question is a bully and interesting to read other POVs

Well they haven't contacted the OP and the teacher clearly hasn't had a word, so I don't think they've explored every avenue yet.

When did the meaning of ‘ask if he’s bully’ change into ‘assume he’s a bully’?

Where have the bullying allegations come from? Parents don’t usually just make stuff up. There approach was totally inappropriate whether your child is a bully or not but if he is an actual bully then he does need to be told. This incident isn’t actually a school matter so you can’t expect them to say anything to the parents but you can ask how your son and their child get along during the school day or ask to keep an eye on them to check no bullying is going on

This happened to my then 7yo, just one parent shouting at her, rather than two, and not school-related. The child mine was supposedly bullying was several years older and quite a bit bigger. It turned out that the mum had mental health problems, her child was struggling with that and taking it out on other children. It all
got very messy and involved safeguarding. The mum has now been banned from being in the building when children’s activities are taking place.

You do have to follow up, you don’t want adults behaving like that near children.

We don’t know that.

We have a mum in DS' class who would do this, she's had issues with half the parents in the class, her son can do no wrong in her eyes nothing is ever six of one half a dozen of another and god forbid you get the slot after her at parents evening you'll never get seen. The dad is really laid back and nice, almost sheepish sometimes about her behaviour. I've steered clear having seen what happened to others.

At a party last summer I saw her son punch another child hard in the arm, the other child pushed him away, he immediately started crying and ran and told his mum he was being bullied. It's nonsense. Luckily a number of parents had seen what had happened, but she wouldn't have it. Took her child from the party then bleated all over social media that he was being isolated. She needs more going on in her life

Uncalled for comment.
I would want to investigate. I am not accusing OP’s child of being a bully. but these parents are

You were right to approach the school.

Definitely do not approach the parents- this should now be handled by the school and any communication with them will fuel the drama. You might need to stay at parties for a while to monitor the situation but hopefully the school will warn them not to harass him again.

What did your son do?

What they did was 100% wrong and inappropriate. Have they spoken to the school and to you before deciding to ambush your son as a last resort? What does he say about the allegations?
That said, if there's truth in it I'd be coming down on my son like a ton of bricks.

How can they be at the end of their tether? They clearly haven't tried to do anything up until now

Doesn't justify two adults bullying a 7 year-old

Don’t blame a child for terrible adult behaviour.

I am afraid I just couldn’t keep my temper in this situation.

How dare they.

If your son has done something to their child then they need to bring it up with you or the school not corner a child when he is not with his parents.

I would report them to the police for their intimidating and threatening behaviour towards a child.