I’m 31 and estranged from my family. It wasn’t a decision I made lightly, it came after years of hurt and it’s something I’ve processed deeply, including with professional help.
A friend recently said this to me: “You are never going to live a fulfilling life when you hate a parent. You’re just not unfortunately. I wish it was different because there are some parents that are unloveable. But the reality is we can’t be whole without the two people that birthed us… try and create some connection if you can, even if it’s at arm’s length. Do it for you. Because all that anxiety, depression, coping mechanisms - they come from not feeling loved by the people who birthed you.”
She also added that women in my situation usually end up with narcissistic exes or have “broken” love lives and said she hopes I’m able to set the same boundaries with men in my life as I do with my father. 😬
It rubbed me the wrong way. I get that some people believe reconnection is healing but isn’t it incredibly reductive to assume that every estranged person is emotionally damaged or incapable of healthy relationships?
AIBU to think you can live a fulfilling, emotionally rich, peaceful life, even if you’re estranged from family?