Not to want to travel 3hrs to see my in laws at 7mo pregnant?

Honestly, I think you should let your husband take your son to see his parents for a couple of nights.

You do not have to go.
No problem with you making g your decision about travelling.

But saying your dh and dc cannot spend two days away from you is very unreasonable.

They need to take this time to learn to get along with each other.

Why can't they come to you ?

Agreed. I think this is a real problem. And a perfect opportunity to address it. He can go for with your 4 year old and if there is a massive issue come home after one night only, although I'm sure it will be fine. He's their dad! Presumably he takes them out for day trips without you sometimes.

I think the pregnancy is a red herring. 3 hours is no distance when 7 months pregnant. But if she is foul to you that's a different matter - then you decide whether you suck it up/stand up to her for your husband and child's sake, or go low contact.

You’ll be 7 months not 9 and it’s not that far.

That spells trouble with a new baby coming. It's also pretty sad.

I’d do it for my husband. He clearly wants to go and see his parents and that’s really understandable. They might be annoying in laws (as many are!) but they are the only ones he has. Don’t make it a them or me situation. It doesn’t sound like it happens often and you already aren’t going for Christmas.

From a physical point of view, if your pregnancy is a normal one then the travelling is not a problem.

It is clear that you don't want to go - I am sure your reasons are good ones - but there is a case for getting it over with before Christmas so you can relax over the festive period and enjoy your new baby together.

I think the oddest thing is the DC not being able to be with their father without their mother for a couple of nights. Especially as the OP then says it’s fine to be away from her DC whilst she’s in hospital - who is looking after the DC then?

The obvious answer here would be for DH and Dc to go without the OP, although I notice that the DH doesn’t want to go with just DC (weirdest thing of all!).

I say this very kindly but I think the bigger problem is your 4yr old not happy spending time with his Dad or is it Dad not wanting to? What happens if you’re ill or unable to look after him?

Her husband wants to visit his parents in his home, with his child. Which he should be able to do.

and our DC wouldn’t be happy spending 2 nights away from me, it would be stressful for DC, and in turn for me

With another baby on the way, it’s time for DC1 to get a bit more used to being cared for by Daddy and to being away from you for a short period of time. Great preparation for the birth and time immediately after. Actively encourage your DH and DC to go without you and make it sound like an exciting, positive trip for your child.

It's 3 hours hardly a lot ? You could stop half way for a cuppa.

Other option is to let ds go with dh he'll be fine, it's his dad !

Can't have it all ways.

Exactly this.

I think you are being unreasonable and difficult in that you wont go AND wont facilitate your dd going either. As you say, you don't want to go, if it was elsewhere, you'd go. Fair enough but then I believe you should work with dh to facilitate him going on his own with dd.

She had a tantrum that you didn't breastfeed your own child as long as she would have liked?

She joked about "stealing" your baby?

Both are unacceptable and I wouldn't tolerate this person at all or really want them in my space and in my life.

I think you are being unreasonable really @amaliabnt . Either go, or don't object to DH taking DC, it would be good for them. To not do either is unreasonable.

It sounds like you wouldn't host MIL overnight either, so im not sure what your DH is supposed to do.

He's also allowed to stay with his parents once a year. He doesn't need to grow a pair.

The issue isn't pregnancy, it's the fact that you don't have a good relationship with MIL and don't want to go, which is fine. Are you asking if that is a reasonable excuse for not going in the eyes of MIL?

I understand you not wanting to go, but I don't think being 7 months pregnant is really an excuse to not go.

I think your child is the bigger issue. At 4 they should be able to spend time with their other parent without drama. And at some point they're going to have to do so as they can't be attached to you forever. So I'd be more inclined to push that and have your husband go with your child.

Why are you calling him your "H" when he is obviously your sergeant major

FFS - he can request as much as he likes, but you can request he grows a par and suggests meeting halfway

You’re being very unreasonable. You only travel to them once a year? That’s nothing. Suck it up. Or let him take the child and go without you, the kid is 4, you’ll soon have a newborn and your husband will have to do more with the eldest anyway. Maybe look into the train if you don’t want to drive.

To be fair…you can’t have it both ways. Either you go, or DH and DC goes. If you’re about to have a baby your DC is going to need to be able to not be attached to you.

It’s the DH who wants to go with his DC but the OP is blocking it because she wouldn’t feel happy away from her DC (until she gives birth, because they it’s fine) so she is stopping everyone from going.

YANBU

Why can’t DH go on his own if he wants to see her?