Not to want to travel 3hrs to see my in laws at 7mo pregnant?

Suggest they go without you and if DC struggles without you they come home early. Assuming you aren’t having a home birth with DC present they’ll be separated from you when you give birth and actually this trip will be a good practice for DH for that.

Gosh Op I can't help but feel you're in for a rough ride with a clingy 2 year old and a new born, you need to start teaching him it's ok to be apart for a little while, how will he manage when you go into hospital ?

I’m just wondering how will your DC cope when you give birth to your new baby, you may need to spend a night or two in hospital depending on how things go? I think it would be healthy for your DC to go away with your DH to see your MIL for a few days. What a great break for you too to be able to do exactly as you please for those few days. You can keep in contact via phone. Once new baby comes you’ll feel like you hardly have a minute to yourself!

I’m happy to go away on trips throughout my pregnancy, I feel fine and have been lucky with not feeling too ill or big or uncomfortable so far.

Not sure what more needs to be said in answer to the travel question when you've stated this in earlier posts.

I think, like others, you're just not wanting to go to see your husbands family (your child's grandparents) and simply looking for excuses.

If child so unhappy being with her daddy for two nights then I'd use this as an ideal time for it to happen ....if it's you who will struggle....again .....it's time to let that go....child with daddy is perfectly usual

You all need to grow up a bit and start being a little more independent! You are all co dependant on each other, it isn't healthy.

If you don’t want to go, you don’t want to go.
But why would being 7 months pregnant stop you?!

RIPPED APART!!! 😱

Is that why brother is such a bell end then?

My experience of 7m pg was huge bumps and painful SPD, so 3 hours of travelling and staying away from home would have been deeply uncomfortable, so that's not automatically unreasonable.

A dad should be able to take his child away for a couple of days without it being a major issue, especially by 4 years old. It's concerning that this seems to be an issue particularly with the upcoming disruption of a new baby on the horizon. It's not just the birth (with potential for complications) but the sharing of maternal time and attention and potential for baby to bring curveballs.

Your DH should definitely go with your child. It’s no good having a child so dependent on just one of you. It will be good for DC to have a busy fun weekend with dad (and with grandparents who will presumably fuss over him). Especially so when there’s a baby on the way to shake things up. Good practice for them if you need a hospital stay after the birth too. It’s not good for your marriage or for the family dynamic for one of you to be ‘parent in chief’.

DH wants to go for 2 nights. Statement of fact. Nobody controlling anyone.

I’m 36 weeks pregnant and currently on my way home with DH and 3yo after visiting family three hours away. It honestly
wasn’t that bad. Did it for DH as we won’t see his family at Xmas now. Honestly it was fine. I say go for it, you can slip off and rest if you need some space and nobody will
mind you having an early night. Good luck

You've pretty much admitted you're using pregnancy as an excuse so I'm not sure what you want. Do you want to have a tantrum and insist you all stay home? You might aswell suck it up for the sake of 48 hours.

Perhaps because her husband wants to spend Christmas with people who actually celebrate it? Rather than with someone for whom it’s just another day…

"The graveyards are full of indispensable men" quote really applies here. You are totally within your rights to not go to see your in laws. YABU for preventing you child and DH going without you. Frankly, they are going to have to get use to time together without you, due to the baby. You say they wouldn't cope/wouldn't enjoy it, well why not let them try and find out? If they don't like it they will come home after a night. You'll have slept/relaxed. No big deal. He is taking your child to see his parents, not a cult. Totally fair if they aren't your cup of tea, but your attitude here stopping their relationship with DH/DC will build major resentment (understandably).

This.

Your DC and DH need to learn to manage without you. New baby soon means you won't be as available too.

I do agree that the Dh and the toddler should be able to go, or the Dh alone.

Or ops comprise of meeting and staying somewhere half way.

But I wouldn’t be feeling the need to make up for not visiting at Christmas. I wouldn’t have set a precedent of every year to start with.

Because maybe her DH wants to visit his parents in his parents home with his family once a year?

i certainly encouraged my husband to do that. Sometimes I went too.

Why does not taking a toddler and baby 3 hours away for Christmas mean there has to be a trade off. The in-laws visit every month anyway.

I’m more shocked that op ever agreed to every Christmas at the in-laws dragging her child away from their home.

Quite. That's a nice combination of emotional blackmail and laziness/unwillingness to deal with the trickier aspects of parenting right there.

OP is expected not only to do what DH wants but in the way he wants it. This isn't compromise.

In a nutshell this is the problem.

OP, in your initial post you said that your husband couldn't take your 4yo alone because 4yo would be upset without you and you would be stressed because of this. You have since said both your husband and child would hate it. Have you actually discussed the prospect of your husband taking 4yo alone with your husband?

When I had my second, it took ages to get him to sleep and I was bf. The oldest always wanted me to put him to bed, so we had to develop a whole routine with a "special bed" (putting the mattress on the floor!) which only Daddy could do. This was even though eldest had spent nights without me before. As others have said, think of this as getting your 4yo ready for their new baby sibling, whose arrival will mean you can't always be at their beck and call.

"my DH simply wouldn’t go with DC without me. It would be a nightmare, they’d both hate it"

I think the visit is the least if your worries.
Clingy 4 yo and useless husband. That needs to be addressed asap

I agree with others that it’s odd for your husband to not want to take your child alone.

it’s not even like he’s solely responsible, the in laws will be there. He barely he has to do anything, his workload is a third of what it should be!

Also, yes, it’s understandable not to want to visit ILs you don’t like but pregnancy has nothing to do with it. Child should see the grandparents with or without you.

True, the in-laws will miss their company at Christmas. Ordinarily, however, they get it every year, which is an ununsual circumstance in most families where all the parents are still alive and in contact.

This is not a precedent I'd be keen to continue no matter how well I got on with my in-laws. Young families with children deserve the space to celebrate Christmas with each other, rather than travelling around to fulfil obligations which at least some parties might consider more a duty or chore than a pleasure. This is unfair to everyone. By all means it's sometimes necessary to bury our own feelings 'for DH's sake' - but if it's always one party doing this and their own sake isn't considered in return, it becomes a one-sided exercise.

A compromise is needed - and compromise does not mean ceding over your own will to others' on a constant basis. DC is with their father and he has parental responsibility. The child is safe with him and will have to get used to being without mum at school soon enough. The other compromise is to go on this occasion and suck it up, but setting a new precedent for Christmas from this point on.

OP doesn't need an 'excuse' not to spend time with people whose company she finds difficult. 'I don't want to' is reason enough. But decisions carry consequences, so you'll need to ensure, OP, that you're willing to accept these. Give something back, but don't always be the one having to make sacrifices: this is far too often the case with women.

As for accepting a difference of opinion, this is also immaterial. OP and her DH are the parents: it's really none of her business how long you breastfeed. Practising the skill of 'grey rock' here can be helpful: you'll get to a place where you let this wash over you and if she doesn't see any form of reaction she will likely stop.

Hope you find that you can reach a sensible compromise and tread the balance in the future. Your children deserve to have a relationship with their grandparents and it's fine for your DH to facilitate that - if necessary without your presence.

They do. But OP’s husband wants to visit them in their own home and stay for a couple of nights.