Not to want to travel 3hrs to see my in laws at 7mo pregnant?

Go earlier when you'll be 6 months? I drove by myself to my parents- 2.5 hours drive when I was 8 months with my 2.5 year old as started mat leave early and fancied a change of scene, so personally dont see a massive issue esp if someone else is driving. Might not want to see family, but kinda have to...or could they come to you?

AMEN

I don’t think it’s a huge deal tbh, I wouldn’t have thought twice about going. I was still flying at 32 weeks with my second baby, all you’ve got to do is sit in the car and then I’d find a nice sofa stop whilst MIL fussy over your 4 year old and I’d take the opportunity to rest!

@amaliabnt They visit you once a month ? Is this very consistent ?
Do they stay over ?

I was all for just going untill I read you see them every month.

Another DIL treating his parents with contempt and differently. Just say it how it is, you control access to their son and grandchild. I hope you understand that when your dc are older you might be a mil too.

Then Yes - YABU... You're 7 months pregnant and have already declared its been a smooth pregnancy. 3 hours is nothing. 90 mins drive, take a break, 90 more minutes drive and you're there. Its like watching 2 movies in 1 day - youre just sat in a car not on the sofa.

Also cut the cord with your 4 year old. Your DH is weaponising incompetence by saying he "cant do it" - and you've jumped at that as a total control freak. I think in one post you even called her "my child" and not "our child" - which is very telling.

👏👏👏.

YABU, people can work till a few weeks before giving birth and you've said you'd go otherwise as have been a good pregnancy.

Mil is one person, you'd be doing it for your husband and kids relationship with wider family.
DH can absolutely go with kids and without you.
What happens if you end up staying over in hospital, he'd have to cope then, so why not start now?

Always being there isn't healthy for your kids, he's their dad and should learn to cope.

But she’s not worried about the pregnancy aspect of the journey. Just that she doesn’t like her in laws. It’s fine for her to say she won’t go but she can’t stop her husband from going. And she should be encouraging him to take their child with him. But she won’t because I think she might be a bit of a control freak. And that’s putting it politely. But we’ll never know as op hasn’t returned to the thread…

I agree with this.

An excuse or an extra reason not to want to have to put up with things that are annoying?

I travelled 4 hrs to see my in laws when I was pregnant. I like my in laws, no issues there, but the journey was an absolute pain because I needed to go to the toilet so often - DS chose the journey to be very active and I swear was using my bladder as a trampoline. It was tiring and wearing.

Let him go with DC then you can rest and not deal with MIL.
A four year old will cope better than you think with dad and grandma - honestly.

I would let DH go with DC and you stay at home. Your DC needs to get used to the possibility you might not be there every night. You will have to focus on the new baby when they arrive and how will DC cope if for any reason you have to stay in hospital o/n when you give birth ? Surely better to have a “trial run” with DH in advance.

Why on earth doesnt your 4yr old like spending time with her father?Even an afternoon. This is not healthy behaviour for a 4yr old. Possibly you are very possessive and exclude your DH.
If you wont let your child go with her father,then you all must go. It is only 2 days.
It isnt all about you. Your DH wants to see his parents as he is not seeing them at xmas.
Try not to be selfish.

Not if the parents are always making snide comments and being rude. No.

What benefit do arsehole add to your life.

Do you not recognise the value in having a relationship with parents? Would you not make an effort for your partner so they can enjoy that? I'm astounded that this is at all surprising for you...

Well yeah. She can happily support her husband’s relationship with his parents by waving him and their child off for a couple of days at their place.

You absolutely do not have to go, but you really should send DH off with DS. Will DH actually refuse to take him without you? That’s pretty pathetic.

Wtf?! Support his relationship?? JFC

DH will need to do more with your son once the baby is here. I think you should let them go and it will go much better without you there then you think.

You need to support your husband's relationship with his parents. I'm sorry, pregnancy isn't an excuse.

YABVU.

You’re clearly using the pregnancy as an excuse, it’s entirely possible to make a 3 hour trip when 7 months pregnant. Take a break during the trip if it’s that difficult for you. I mean people spend all day at work when 9 months pregnant. May not be a walk in the park, but very doable.

But more importantly, I’m extremely concerned you seem to think that your 4yo child can’t spend a couple of days away from you, and that they’ll find it stressful. A 4yo should be perfectly capable of spending a couple of nights away with the other parent. I mean there’s plenty of parents who’ve divorced by that age. And, they can phone or video call you if needed. To be frank it sounds like the person who’d find it stressful is you, and the poor child is simply feeding off your bad parenting and controlling behaviour.

Of course you are allowed to say no. You don’t need mumsnet or pregnancy to back that up. Just say no you don’t want to go. The real issue here is not allowing your DH to take your child. Of course it’ll be hard and you’ll miss DC and DC will miss you but you’ll both survive. Sometimes the hardest bit of parenting is letting your child be upset and not always trying to fix it. Yes even at 4 years old!

imaging this was a man on here saying I won’t let my wife take my child away for 2 nights without me. You must see how controlling that is

I totally understand you don't want to stay overnight at your PiL, it was a big no-no for me too. Can you tell them you are nesting and need to stay at your own place? Bribe them with an invitation for an extra day at yours (no sleepovers)? And then at your place do a nice baby-shower or something. Order in food so no fuss, go for a rest when you need it? Make it all a bit sparkly and fancy to woo them into believing you actually love having them over 😊

why are you having a second child with a person you don't trust to look after your other child for an afternoon