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AIBU?

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Original poster

Was I in the wrong? Neighbour issue?

237 replies

hallogalorrr · 29/09/2025 10:05

I created a private Facebook group for the 3 streets on the new build estate where I live.

Most of my neighbours are on it.

My next door neighbour who lives next to me has stopped speaking to me now as from what I gather her and her partner were annoyed that I didn’t invite them to join the group.

I did ask my other next door neighbour to join.

Yesterday we got back at the same time in our cars and I could tell they didn’t want to acknowledge me or say hello as they just sat in their car until I had gone in.

My neighbour would also take by bin and parcels but has stopped.

Is my next door neighbour right to be annoyed and AIBU?

OP posts:
Isometimeswonder · 29/09/2025 12:04

You were catty to not include them. Rude

DottieMoon · 29/09/2025 12:03

There is something wrong with you.YOU have created this drama and are now complaining? Yes of course you are in the wrong.

Isittimeformynapyet · 29/09/2025 12:03

I'm waiting for the OP to let us know the penny has dropped....

Arlanymor · 29/09/2025 12:03

hallogalorrr · 29/09/2025 11:50

Another neighbour down the road she is friendly with her mentioned it to her from what I understand.

I do tend to speak and see my other neighbour more.

It was my daughters birthday and her other neighbours son birthday over the weekend as she went round with a card and gift for them but ignored my DC’s.

You ignored her online - what do you expect? Why should she give a gift to the son of someone who excludes her from a Facebook group? Honestly, why can't you see that YOU created this situation? You don't sound like a very good neighbour.

martinisforeveryone · 29/09/2025 12:03

Honestly OP this is reading like a long wind-up. Either that, or you're very unaware of basic manners and sensibilities, so going forward in life, remember, it's not up to you to decide how other people feel or think.

As for keeping themselves to themselves, you should know that people can be on Facebook to see what's going on locally, without having to participate. You could easily have said, not sure if it's your thing, but would you like to join, no offence if not.

You've excluded your neighbours and now they're doing the same you're offended. I'm not sure why you don't realise the offence you've caused.

BirdShedRevisited · 29/09/2025 12:02

hallogalorrr · 29/09/2025 11:02

I didn’t think that she would want to join as I think her and her OH like to keep themselves to themselves.

She does make it fairly obvious now that she dosent want to engage in convo (she used to chat before) and just walks off when she see’s me.

Ooofe. No. You don't assume stuff like this.

Put an apologetic note through.

ForeverPombear · 29/09/2025 12:02

Right so you did invite your other neighbour because you speak to them more so you were creating a clique rather than a group for streets. You reap what you sow.

nomas · 29/09/2025 12:02

hallogalorrr · 29/09/2025 11:50

Another neighbour down the road she is friendly with her mentioned it to her from what I understand.

I do tend to speak and see my other neighbour more.

It was my daughters birthday and her other neighbours son birthday over the weekend as she went round with a card and gift for them but ignored my DC’s.

Is this a reverse? How can anyone be so monumentally entitled?

I'm so glad she's seen your true colours, bring in your own bloody bins!

And how dare you expect presents from her?

user5972308467 · 29/09/2025 12:01

So you’ve deliberately excluded someone that did you favours, bins/parcels and are now surprised that they are cross? Yes, YABU OP.

Surprisedcupcake · 29/09/2025 12:01

😂 You're obviously being unreasonable. Plus why would they buy your kids presents if they don't even make it into your neighborhood club 😂

thepariscrimefiles · 29/09/2025 12:01

hallogalorrr · 29/09/2025 11:50

Another neighbour down the road she is friendly with her mentioned it to her from what I understand.

I do tend to speak and see my other neighbour more.

It was my daughters birthday and her other neighbours son birthday over the weekend as she went round with a card and gift for them but ignored my DC’s.

Were you expecting these neighbours to buy your DC a birthday present? You obviously don't like them as you deliberately excluded them from the Facebook group so they are now reciprocating that disklike. They have done you favours in the past like taking in your parcels and taking your bin out and you have rewarded them by not inviting them to join your Facebook group. You have only yourself to blame.

chunkybear · 29/09/2025 12:00

hallogalorrr · 29/09/2025 11:02

I didn’t think that she would want to join as I think her and her OH like to keep themselves to themselves.

She does make it fairly obvious now that she dosent want to engage in convo (she used to chat before) and just walks off when she see’s me.

That’s a shit excuse! Just ask them and stop thinking for other people

HelpMeGetThrough · 29/09/2025 11:59

Why would your neighbour buy you child a birthday present?

IglesiasPiggl · 29/09/2025 11:59

My neighbour is 86 and doesn't have a smartphone. I still mentioned our street WhatsApp group to her and asked if she wanted to be included. Obviously she didn't but it's the neighbourly thing to do.

To row back from this, invite them now and apologise for missing them off the first time.

Paganpentacle · 29/09/2025 11:58

She's ignoring you because you excluded them.
Not sure why that's so difficult to understands.
Actions have consequences.

brunettemic · 29/09/2025 11:58

Of course, otherwise the question wouldn’t be asked.

TonTonMacoute · 29/09/2025 11:57

Well, it seems odd that you didn't invite them to join, they could have said no or just joined and not got involved.

Having said that, it does sound like the most incredible overreaction on their side. Can't stand sulking.

Tyler4689 · 29/09/2025 11:57

hallogalorrr · 29/09/2025 11:50

Another neighbour down the road she is friendly with her mentioned it to her from what I understand.

I do tend to speak and see my other neighbour more.

It was my daughters birthday and her other neighbours son birthday over the weekend as she went round with a card and gift for them but ignored my DC’s.

Do you expect all your neighbours to buy your daughter a birthday present?
Maybe she has a really good relationship with that other neighbour and their child.

Also did you really expect her to buy your daughter a present after you made a WhatsApp group for all the neighbours and didn’t include her?

AOIFEmissingUalways · 29/09/2025 11:56

hallogalorrr · 29/09/2025 11:50

Another neighbour down the road she is friendly with her mentioned it to her from what I understand.

I do tend to speak and see my other neighbour more.

It was my daughters birthday and her other neighbours son birthday over the weekend as she went round with a card and gift for them but ignored my DC’s.

Now you're just taking the piss.... excluding her from your cliquey FB group, but expecting a present for your child 😆🤣😆🤣

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 29/09/2025 11:54

People don’t have to buy their neighbours children a birthday present?

You caused this issue.

OrigamiOwls · 29/09/2025 11:53

So you decided to exclude her and are now wondering why she doesn't want to talk to you?

Having seen the latest update about your daughter's birthday - I'm friendly with pur neighbours but I can't say I know when their kids birthdays are and certainly won't think to buy them a present.

You've excluded her and now she's ignoring you and your family. Surely you can connect the dots here?

Derbee · 29/09/2025 11:52

Sounds like you’ve caused this situation with your tactlessness

Swiftie1878 · 29/09/2025 11:52

hallogalorrr · 29/09/2025 11:50

Another neighbour down the road she is friendly with her mentioned it to her from what I understand.

I do tend to speak and see my other neighbour more.

It was my daughters birthday and her other neighbours son birthday over the weekend as she went round with a card and gift for them but ignored my DC’s.

Stop mithering on about them, and fix it!

Princesspollyyy · 29/09/2025 11:51

You should have invited her to join the group, whether you thought she would want to join or not.

Surely give people the opportunity to join, then if they decide not to, thats their choice?? You’ve effectively made that choice for your neighbour on their behalf. Silly really. No wonder she’s not speaking to you.

Tyler4689 · 29/09/2025 11:50

hallogalorrr · 29/09/2025 11:02

I didn’t think that she would want to join as I think her and her OH like to keep themselves to themselves.

She does make it fairly obvious now that she dosent want to engage in convo (she used to chat before) and just walks off when she see’s me.

OP, can you not see what a massive contradiction this update is?
You’re saying her and her husband keep themselves to themselves, but you’re also saying she used to chat to you before this all happened.

OF COURSE you’re being unreasonable!!!! You can’t make a WhatsApp group for the whole bloody neighbourhood and leave one person out on an assumption they don’t want to be in it. I can’t believe you don’t see how she can be offended here.