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AIBU?

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Original poster

Was I in the wrong? Neighbour issue?

237 replies

hallogalorrr · 29/09/2025 10:05

I created a private Facebook group for the 3 streets on the new build estate where I live.

Most of my neighbours are on it.

My next door neighbour who lives next to me has stopped speaking to me now as from what I gather her and her partner were annoyed that I didn’t invite them to join the group.

I did ask my other next door neighbour to join.

Yesterday we got back at the same time in our cars and I could tell they didn’t want to acknowledge me or say hello as they just sat in their car until I had gone in.

My neighbour would also take by bin and parcels but has stopped.

Is my next door neighbour right to be annoyed and AIBU?

OP posts:
NoSoapJustUseShowerGel · 29/09/2025 12:27

You should never assume someone doesn’t want to be invited to something - WhatsApp group, event, etc. Give them the opportunity to say yes or no.

You’re in the wrong although the neighbour sounds very petty.

DarkYearForMySoul · 29/09/2025 12:25

You need to apologise.
If you feel the need, then explain you made an incorrect assumption. You should have let them decide for themselves.
Taking a big serving of humble pie is your only course of action.

ItstheHRTpat · 29/09/2025 12:24

What's the point in having a street group if youre not going to invite the whole street to it?! Then really it is a friends who live on the same street as me group

LillyPJ · 29/09/2025 12:22

Why don't you extend an olive branch? Tell her - or put a note through her door - that you made a mistake and that she's welcome to join the group. Apologise. You shouldn't have assumed anything.

SerendipityJane · 29/09/2025 12:21

Maybe someone else will creaed a group, invite everyone and exclude you-

Maybe they already have ?

Jessbow · 29/09/2025 12:20

You created a neighbourhood group
You invited some but not all of the neighbours

You wonder why the uninvited ones are ignoring you. Really?

Maybe someone else will creaed a group, invite everyone and exclude you- maybe you'll get it then

LillyPJ · 29/09/2025 12:18

I'd be very hurt to find out if been left out of a neighbourhood group WhatsApp. I'd definitely stop taking in your bins! Why did you leave them out?

Trickabrick · 29/09/2025 12:18

I really hope this is a reverse or a troll as surely no-one has so little self awareness in real life 😂

Isittimeformynapyet · 29/09/2025 12:16

AutumnCosy2025 · 29/09/2025 12:05

I hope you have a decent coffee machine & snacks...

Show quote history

😄

Tontostitis · 29/09/2025 12:15

You need to go round and apologise. Make up an excuse or white lie if you haven't got the stones to be honest. You should have invited everyone on the 3 streets not just your chosen few and you should 100% have invited your next door neighbour.

LorrieTosh · 29/09/2025 12:14

I thought you were going to say “I didn’t realise they were on Facebook” or a similarly innocent mistake, not that you made a conscious decision to exclude them because they ‘keep themselves to themselves’ (what do you expect this group to be used for? Sharing local information, or gossip and the sordid details of everyone’s lives?)

What was the harm in inviting them and allowing them to decide for themselves?

They don’t know why you invited everyone except them, and from the outside it looks quite passive aggressive. It’s like inviting the whole class to a party but excluding just that one kid you don’t like. Personally, I wouldn’t be annoyed - I just wouldn’t feel like spending any time chatting to a grown adult who behaved like that.

MrTiddlesTheCat · 29/09/2025 12:13

You're reaping what you've sown.

SerendipityJane · 29/09/2025 12:12

Your neighbour is being childish,

Not as I read it.

TheJessops · 29/09/2025 12:12

Your neighbour is being childish, but you started (just to continue in the childish attitude!).

Why did you assume they wouldn't want to be part of the group? Just because they are quieter? They may be painfully shy, massive introverts and in which case, possibly engaging in a Facebook group may be much more comfortable and easier for them than face to face on the street.

You're all behaving like 12 year olds. Grow up and apologise, and hopefully they will follow suit.

(Edited as got Facebook/Whatsapp muddled up)

Wingedharpy · 29/09/2025 12:09

hallogalorrr · 29/09/2025 11:50

Another neighbour down the road she is friendly with her mentioned it to her from what I understand.

I do tend to speak and see my other neighbour more.

It was my daughters birthday and her other neighbours son birthday over the weekend as she went round with a card and gift for them but ignored my DC’s.

Well, now you know what it feels like to be left out.

MonetsLilac · 29/09/2025 12:09

ForeverPombear · 29/09/2025 12:02

Right so you did invite your other neighbour because you speak to them more so you were creating a clique rather than a group for streets. You reap what you sow.

This ⬆️.
Cliques are horrible.

Lovemycat2023 · 29/09/2025 12:08

AutumnCosy2025 · 29/09/2025 12:06

Ooh can you upset me next please!?!?!

Show quote history

Brownies or blondies?! My NDN are fab so I tend to make them brownies to say thank you every so often.

MonetsLilac · 29/09/2025 12:07

hallogalorrr · 29/09/2025 11:02

I didn’t think that she would want to join as I think her and her OH like to keep themselves to themselves.

She does make it fairly obvious now that she dosent want to engage in convo (she used to chat before) and just walks off when she see’s me.

You should have asked and given the opportunity for refusal.
I think your behaviour was a bit rude, tbh.

AutumnCosy2025 · 29/09/2025 12:06

Lovemycat2023 · 29/09/2025 12:05

Yeah, you got this one wrong. My neighbours are quiet and not really on SM but very neighbourly (as yours were before) and I know they see things in the FB group which are useful, even if they don’t join in the chat about the phantom dog-poo leaver.

I would say sorry with a cake, and hopefully it’ll be back to normal.

Ooh can you upset me next please!?!?!

Gremlins101 · 29/09/2025 12:06

So you deliberately excluded them and now wonder why they don't like you. Back to primary school with you.

Lovemycat2023 · 29/09/2025 12:05

Yeah, you got this one wrong. My neighbours are quiet and not really on SM but very neighbourly (as yours were before) and I know they see things in the FB group which are useful, even if they don’t join in the chat about the phantom dog-poo leaver.

I would say sorry with a cake, and hopefully it’ll be back to normal.

AutumnCosy2025 · 29/09/2025 12:05

Isittimeformynapyet · 29/09/2025 12:03

I'm waiting for the OP to let us know the penny has dropped....

I hope you have a decent coffee machine & snacks...

Arlanymor · 29/09/2025 12:05

Also OP look at the poll - 98% think you are completely unreasonable.

Please wake up, because I cannot believe that anyone is this naive - and that is putting it kindly.

carmak · 29/09/2025 12:04

No one's this dim, has to be a reverse. Come on OP, own up.

LIZS · 29/09/2025 12:04

Either it is for the three streets, in which case you should have invited everyone by leafletting through letterboxes and let them decide whether to join, or it is for your selective group of neighbours who you happen to deem friendly. Why would they even know it was your dc birthday if you barely acknowledge each other?