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AIBU?

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Original poster

Was I in the wrong? Neighbour issue?

237 replies

hallogalorrr · 29/09/2025 10:05

I created a private Facebook group for the 3 streets on the new build estate where I live.

Most of my neighbours are on it.

My next door neighbour who lives next to me has stopped speaking to me now as from what I gather her and her partner were annoyed that I didn’t invite them to join the group.

I did ask my other next door neighbour to join.

Yesterday we got back at the same time in our cars and I could tell they didn’t want to acknowledge me or say hello as they just sat in their car until I had gone in.

My neighbour would also take by bin and parcels but has stopped.

Is my next door neighbour right to be annoyed and AIBU?

OP posts:
Chiaseedling · 29/09/2025 17:27

Sounds ridiculous. On our development, anyone can be on the WhatsApp group.

Original poster
hallogalorrr · 29/09/2025 17:27

I tried to talk to her earlier when she got back from the school run.

In other words she said they wouldn’t want to join a neighbourhood chat as they don’t really find the people friendly apart from XYZ (neighbour across the street who she is friendly with) and she said they didn’t intend on sticking round here long and made a joke of saying “Let’s hope your new neighbours aren’t too nosy or noisy like most folk around here” and tuned her back to me before walking off.

I think she is referring my Ringdoor capturing some of her property ( I asked her once if that was her sister visiting when it pinged on my Ring).

She also has had an issue with my next door neighbour’s kids trespassing on her drive which I know she hated as it would wake her kids up.

I think they just hate living round here

I will pop round with some chocolate or something as I can see why they feel ostracised.

OP posts:
OhTheProblemIsDefinitelyMe · 29/09/2025 17:23

I’d love to know why 2% actually think op wasn’t BUR.
Baffling!

AOIFEmissingUalways · 29/09/2025 17:15

Ohhhthedrama · 29/09/2025 15:20

It's all the drama mick, I just love it.

😆😆

ParmaVioletTea · 29/09/2025 17:11

hallogalorrr · 29/09/2025 11:50

Another neighbour down the road she is friendly with her mentioned it to her from what I understand.

I do tend to speak and see my other neighbour more.

It was my daughters birthday and her other neighbours son birthday over the weekend as she went round with a card and gift for them but ignored my DC’s.

Why are you surprised. You deliberately left her out of a neighbourhood group. That was an aggressively rude thing to do.

Yet you still sound aggrieved & perplexed. Weird.

MyCrushWithEyeliner · 29/09/2025 17:00

98% 😎

I’d ignore you too

Cherryicecreamx · 29/09/2025 16:59

Considering you invited the other neighbour, you should have invited them too. They probably think you have a problem with them and feel singled out.

IsItSnowing · 29/09/2025 16:52

hallogalorrr · 29/09/2025 11:50

Another neighbour down the road she is friendly with her mentioned it to her from what I understand.

I do tend to speak and see my other neighbour more.

It was my daughters birthday and her other neighbours son birthday over the weekend as she went round with a card and gift for them but ignored my DC’s.

You’ll have to get used to that treatment now I expect. You started it after all.
You were very rude. Don’t be surprised if other neighbours find out and also decide you’re not worth bothering with.

LBFseBrom · 29/09/2025 16:51

You should have asked them to join the group, left it up to them whether or not they took you up on it. It should have been a general invitation to all in those streets.

You could bite the bullet and tell them it was merely an oversight on your part - though we know it wasn't, you assumed they would not be interested.

It all sounds quite horrible and cliquely.

HeartandSeoul · 29/09/2025 16:48

OriginalSkang · 29/09/2025 10:23

This is a reverse

My thoughts exactly.

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 29/09/2025 16:45

"I deliberately excluded my neighbour because I couldn't let her make up her own mind and now she's annoyed at me. AIBU?"

Yes OP, you made her feel like you didn't want her around and she was hurt by it

TheDenimPoet · 29/09/2025 16:41

hallogalorrr · 29/09/2025 11:02

I didn’t think that she would want to join as I think her and her OH like to keep themselves to themselves.

She does make it fairly obvious now that she dosent want to engage in convo (she used to chat before) and just walks off when she see’s me.

They should have been invited. You've excluded them, it's like petty playground behaviour. I'm not surprised they're annoyed at you now.

Londontown12 · 29/09/2025 16:41

hallogalorrr · 29/09/2025 11:02

I didn’t think that she would want to join as I think her and her OH like to keep themselves to themselves.

She does make it fairly obvious now that she dosent want to engage in convo (she used to chat before) and just walks off when she see’s me.

You presumed !!
im not surprised she being funny with u !

Littlemissbubbblles · 29/09/2025 16:41

@hallogalorrr
your question was, “was I in the wrong?”…., my answer is “ definitely YES!”
You created a group chat but ‘excluded’ her! Of course you are in the wrong. Three street, is three streets, it’s inclusive. You don’t get to decide.
Im not surprised she’s hurt and giving you the cold shoulder.
You definitely need to apologise

CopperWhite · 29/09/2025 16:36

hallogalorrr · 29/09/2025 11:50

Another neighbour down the road she is friendly with her mentioned it to her from what I understand.

I do tend to speak and see my other neighbour more.

It was my daughters birthday and her other neighbours son birthday over the weekend as she went round with a card and gift for them but ignored my DC’s.

Well, yeah. You made it clear you didn’t want to include them so why would they go out of their way to be kind to your children?

Flakey99 · 29/09/2025 15:55

hallogalorrr · 29/09/2025 11:02

I didn’t think that she would want to join as I think her and her OH like to keep themselves to themselves.

She does make it fairly obvious now that she dosent want to engage in convo (she used to chat before) and just walks off when she see’s me.

YABVU.

Imagine if the shoe was on the other foot? How would you respond?

I think you owe her an apology so go round and speak to her and don’t let it fester.

GargoylesofBeelzebub · 29/09/2025 15:40

Why on earth would you assume they wouldn’t want to join?! 🙈🙈

yes YABU, you always give people the option. I think if I was your neighbour I’d be feeling quite upset.

Imisscoffee2021 · 29/09/2025 15:38

You created a problem and you can fix it. You made an assumption but when you create a group for three streets worth of neighbours, the polite snd socially correct thing to do would be to invite all and let their acceptance or declining be in their hands, not yours.

If you miss their cordial greetings so much (or their parcel and bin helpfulness) then extend the invite and apologise for your presumption.

SlinkyMalink · 29/09/2025 15:33

Perhaps she just doesn’t like you and it’s nothing to do with your Facebook group.

CurlewKate · 29/09/2025 15:24

I bet the excluded people are older than the others.

Ohhhthedrama · 29/09/2025 15:20

It's all the drama mick, I just love it.

godmum56 · 29/09/2025 15:05

PeppySloth · 29/09/2025 14:23

I’m quiet, keep myself to myself and have a small circle of friends but doesn’t mean I don’t want to know what’s going on. I still joined the local facebook page. Keeps me up to date with what is going on in the area. I’ve posted once when my parcel was delivered to the wrong place and replied only a couple of times to things I can help with but I’m mainly quiet in the back ground.

me too, I am not social and outgoing IRL but happy to do giveaways on my local FB page and offer help and advice.

TempyBrennan · 29/09/2025 14:59

I can not stand people who just assume ‘i didn’t think they’d want to’ so purposefully exclude them.
i don’t interact or talk to anyone in any of our villages but I’m on the groups to keep up to date with info that can often be posted there before anywhere else.

GAJLY · 29/09/2025 14:55

Just send out a request to everyone. Why ignore them? Your petty behaviour has triggered this.

Duckswaddle · 29/09/2025 14:39

Are you this thick and oblivious in real life, or are you deliberately mean?

They’ve done you favours in the past and been chatty and friendly - you deliberately ignore and exclude them - and now you’re confused about why they’ve backed off from you?