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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Was I in the wrong? Neighbour issue?

237 replies

hallogalorrr · 29/09/2025 10:05

I created a private Facebook group for the 3 streets on the new build estate where I live.

Most of my neighbours are on it.

My next door neighbour who lives next to me has stopped speaking to me now as from what I gather her and her partner were annoyed that I didn’t invite them to join the group.

I did ask my other next door neighbour to join.

Yesterday we got back at the same time in our cars and I could tell they didn’t want to acknowledge me or say hello as they just sat in their car until I had gone in.

My neighbour would also take by bin and parcels but has stopped.

Is my next door neighbour right to be annoyed and AIBU?

OP posts:
ClutchingPearlz · 30/09/2025 09:09

hallogalorrr · 30/09/2025 09:03

So I spoke to the neighbour she is friendly with and the neighbour said that they both hate living here and that I made her feel anxious as she finds me over bearing and intrusive.

The main reason they want to move is because of my Ringdoor.

Apparently they both feel watched and don’t even like to talk when they are outside because in case I am listening and watching.

The lady has pretty much made it clear to the neighbour that until they move she dosent want to engage with me and wants to “keep out of each others way”.

I am actually floored by this and feel really embarrassed.
There is no way I am going to approach her now to given how much she dislikes me.

Will sending a box of chocolates and note be depended harassing?
I think it’s best to probably just leave it.

Well at least now you know it's not your neighbours who are the problem on the estate 😉

3456DDF · 30/09/2025 09:07

I would just leave her alone now. It is clear she has the measure of you doesn't want to engage in ANY WAY and you should respect that.

bigageap · 30/09/2025 09:07

hallogalorrr · 30/09/2025 09:03

So I spoke to the neighbour she is friendly with and the neighbour said that they both hate living here and that I made her feel anxious as she finds me over bearing and intrusive.

The main reason they want to move is because of my Ringdoor.

Apparently they both feel watched and don’t even like to talk when they are outside because in case I am listening and watching.

The lady has pretty much made it clear to the neighbour that until they move she dosent want to engage with me and wants to “keep out of each others way”.

I am actually floored by this and feel really embarrassed.
There is no way I am going to approach her now to given how much she dislikes me.

Will sending a box of chocolates and note be depended harassing?
I think it’s best to probably just leave it.

No but make sure your ring doorbell doesn't record their private property and don't be a nosy cow asking about visitors.

ClutchingPearlz · 30/09/2025 09:06

hallogalorrr · 29/09/2025 18:07

No it’s a genuine thread.

My other neighbours Ringdoor captures some of my drive as these are terraced houses with an odd set up.

My other neighbours front door is outside my drive, these are new builds hence the strange set up.

I will definitely buy her a small gift as I really am not a mean girl and don’t want her to feel the way she does.

And do they ask you who is visiting you? This just gets worse. I really think you've blown this one. Of course they hate living there. I'd think the neighbours were nosy too if they started asking me who was visiting me.

AOIFEmissingUalways · 30/09/2025 09:06

Wow! That's quite an update 🤔

hallogalorrr · 30/09/2025 09:03

So I spoke to the neighbour she is friendly with and the neighbour said that they both hate living here and that I made her feel anxious as she finds me over bearing and intrusive.

The main reason they want to move is because of my Ringdoor.

Apparently they both feel watched and don’t even like to talk when they are outside because in case I am listening and watching.

The lady has pretty much made it clear to the neighbour that until they move she dosent want to engage with me and wants to “keep out of each others way”.

I am actually floored by this and feel really embarrassed.
There is no way I am going to approach her now to given how much she dislikes me.

Will sending a box of chocolates and note be depended harassing?
I think it’s best to probably just leave it.

OP posts:
Sabrinathewitch · 29/09/2025 23:13

Good God you sound like my neighbours who also have a new build estate group and have for 4 years and their just like you literally pick and choose

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 29/09/2025 22:35

We have a shared drive so our doorbell camera picks up next door all the time. We wouldn't go "Oh did your sister come to visit yesterday because I saw her when I was snooping" because it's rude.

Tbrg · 29/09/2025 19:33

hallogalorrr · 29/09/2025 17:27

I tried to talk to her earlier when she got back from the school run.

In other words she said they wouldn’t want to join a neighbourhood chat as they don’t really find the people friendly apart from XYZ (neighbour across the street who she is friendly with) and she said they didn’t intend on sticking round here long and made a joke of saying “Let’s hope your new neighbours aren’t too nosy or noisy like most folk around here” and tuned her back to me before walking off.

I think she is referring my Ringdoor capturing some of her property ( I asked her once if that was her sister visiting when it pinged on my Ring).

She also has had an issue with my next door neighbour’s kids trespassing on her drive which I know she hated as it would wake her kids up.

I think they just hate living round here

I will pop round with some chocolate or something as I can see why they feel ostracised.

This sounds like my street - I can’t wait to move too. I plan on selling to the worst neighbours I can find for them because they’ve made my life a living misery.

Littlemissbubbblles · 29/09/2025 18:57

@hallogalorrr You say you’re not a mean girl.
But your behaviour says you are!
I don’t think a box of choccies will be anywhere near enough

LillyPJ · 29/09/2025 18:39

I'm not surprised they don't like living there.

godmum56 · 29/09/2025 18:36

Nanny0gg · 29/09/2025 18:16

And MYOB. Pretend you haven't seen anyone at her door unless their wearing stripes and carrying a bag with SWAG written on it

this. My video doorbell picks up bits from my neighbour even though I have got a block on even though she has given me permission to remove the block. You DO NOT EVER comment on things picked up on your doorbell or cameras that are none of your business.

3456DDF · 29/09/2025 18:20

Yeah, a box of chocolates is really going to make her feel included 😂

Too little, too late @hallogalorrr

LorrieTosh · 29/09/2025 18:17

hallogalorrr · 29/09/2025 18:07

No it’s a genuine thread.

My other neighbours Ringdoor captures some of my drive as these are terraced houses with an odd set up.

My other neighbours front door is outside my drive, these are new builds hence the strange set up.

I will definitely buy her a small gift as I really am not a mean girl and don’t want her to feel the way she does.

But in what world is it normal to ask your neighbour who the visitors you recorded on your doorbell are? I share a path with my neighbours and wouldn’t dream of mentioning anybody or anything my doorbell picked up - it’s so intrusive and weird!

Nanny0gg · 29/09/2025 18:16

hallogalorrr · 29/09/2025 18:07

No it’s a genuine thread.

My other neighbours Ringdoor captures some of my drive as these are terraced houses with an odd set up.

My other neighbours front door is outside my drive, these are new builds hence the strange set up.

I will definitely buy her a small gift as I really am not a mean girl and don’t want her to feel the way she does.

And MYOB. Pretend you haven't seen anyone at her door unless their wearing stripes and carrying a bag with SWAG written on it

hallogalorrr · 29/09/2025 18:07

No it’s a genuine thread.

My other neighbours Ringdoor captures some of my drive as these are terraced houses with an odd set up.

My other neighbours front door is outside my drive, these are new builds hence the strange set up.

I will definitely buy her a small gift as I really am not a mean girl and don’t want her to feel the way she does.

OP posts:
AOIFEmissingUalways · 29/09/2025 17:47

HurdyGurdy19 · 29/09/2025 17:45

I was rolling my eyes at your first couple of posts, as you came across as a typical playground mean girl, deciding who could join your "gang", and who was to be ostracised and bitched about behind their back..

But having read this latest pile of tripe, I don't believe a word of it, and I think it is a made up, goady post.

+1 Hurdy.

HurdyGurdy19 · 29/09/2025 17:45

hallogalorrr · 29/09/2025 17:27

I tried to talk to her earlier when she got back from the school run.

In other words she said they wouldn’t want to join a neighbourhood chat as they don’t really find the people friendly apart from XYZ (neighbour across the street who she is friendly with) and she said they didn’t intend on sticking round here long and made a joke of saying “Let’s hope your new neighbours aren’t too nosy or noisy like most folk around here” and tuned her back to me before walking off.

I think she is referring my Ringdoor capturing some of her property ( I asked her once if that was her sister visiting when it pinged on my Ring).

She also has had an issue with my next door neighbour’s kids trespassing on her drive which I know she hated as it would wake her kids up.

I think they just hate living round here

I will pop round with some chocolate or something as I can see why they feel ostracised.

I was rolling my eyes at your first couple of posts, as you came across as a typical playground mean girl, deciding who could join your "gang", and who was to be ostracised and bitched about behind their back..

But having read this latest pile of tripe, I don't believe a word of it, and I think it is a made up, goady post.

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 29/09/2025 17:44

Can't imagine why she finds the people rude when you deliberately exclude her from the FB group and question her over her visitors!

AOIFEmissingUalways · 29/09/2025 17:36

Ah c'mon! You're taking us for fools now @hallogalorrr

Ring doorbell capturing some of her property - illegal!
I asked her once if that was her sister visiting when it pinged on my Ring - fucking hell! The cheek of you!

had an issue with my next door neighbour’s kids trespassing on her drive - and? Of course that's a problem!

Christ Almighty, no wonder she wants to move.

ItstheHRTpat · 29/09/2025 17:35

Sounds like a really lovely place to live...

Coconutter24 · 29/09/2025 17:34

I think she is referring my Ringdoor capturing some of her property ( I asked her once if that was her sister visiting when it pinged on my Ring).
She also has had an issue with my next door neighbour’s kids trespassing on her drive which I know she hated as it would wake her kids up.

Just from reading this I can’t tell YABU. Both things above I’d be annoyed about, your camera filming my property is one thing but to be asking who people are when they visit? That’s batshit crazy.
You created a group that included 3 streets yet you didn’t include your neighbour, of course they’d not want to talk to you after you excluded them

Blushingm · 29/09/2025 17:34

hallogalorrr · 29/09/2025 11:02

I didn’t think that she would want to join as I think her and her OH like to keep themselves to themselves.

She does make it fairly obvious now that she dosent want to engage in convo (she used to chat before) and just walks off when she see’s me.

You assumed the ?

if they didn’t want join they could have declined/ignored the invite

As it stands you purposely excluded them - no wonder they’re pissed off

Arlanymor · 29/09/2025 17:33

You ask her about her visitors who are not on your property?

nosleepforme · 29/09/2025 17:29

hallogalorrr · 29/09/2025 17:27

I tried to talk to her earlier when she got back from the school run.

In other words she said they wouldn’t want to join a neighbourhood chat as they don’t really find the people friendly apart from XYZ (neighbour across the street who she is friendly with) and she said they didn’t intend on sticking round here long and made a joke of saying “Let’s hope your new neighbours aren’t too nosy or noisy like most folk around here” and tuned her back to me before walking off.

I think she is referring my Ringdoor capturing some of her property ( I asked her once if that was her sister visiting when it pinged on my Ring).

She also has had an issue with my next door neighbour’s kids trespassing on her drive which I know she hated as it would wake her kids up.

I think they just hate living round here

I will pop round with some chocolate or something as I can see why they feel ostracised.

You capture her visitors on your camera and then question her about it? Oh my…